There's nothin' like finishing off a pint of Haagen-Dazs, two McDonalds hot fudge sundays and a full dose of smack with your buddy at Starbucks.

Fuck, isn't that what friendships all about?

When we asked if we could take her picture she told us that she always gets SO many comments when she wears her red coat with the red purse.

Interesting note: She was about six and a half feet tall.

There are times in New York City when it can be virtually impossible to tell a tourist from a local. There are plenty of out-of-towners who've got great style, subtle behaviors and a classy, dignified way of carrying themselves which allows them blend in to most low key city neighborhoods.

Then other times they look just like tourists.

I'm sorry, I just can't take it any more! Really! What the fuck am I supposed to do about this? Is there a complete and fulfilling life ahead after you've discovered that someone like this exists on your planet?

I once thought that I was the bad ass, but clearly I am not.

Okay fine, you're married and you've basically given up the rest of your life to dressing up in whatever fucking whim your wife happens to be on at the moment. But Jesus fucking Christ, does she gotta rub your nose in it by chastising you in public like you're her little bitch while you're in the matching flag shirts and fanny packs?

Shoot yourself now fella. It's over.