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The Floridian Pantomime Christian Brigade Performers at Union Square North... LIVE!
Photos by Normal Bob Smith

A believer tries not to be lured away from her Bible by her peers who pressure her into a world of sin, while a Yankees fan watches intently.

So my friend Sarah and I are strolling through Union Square when, wouldn't you know it, we happen across a group from Florida putting on a show for the people of New York City.

So my friend Sarah and I are strolling through Union Square when, wouldn't you know it, we happen across a group from Florida putting on a show for the people of New York City.

Sarah and I immediately planted our asses on a bench to soak in this wonderfully overacted performance.

In this scene the Christian weeps while those around her dramatically bow their heads for effect, and that one kid in the background who's in charge of the boombox scopes out some sweet ass in the audience.

Don't let anybody ever tell you that Religious Floridians don't know how to perform interpretive dance reenactments of popular Bible stories, because I seen it and they sure as fuck do!

And parents, don't worry. I've been assured that those who are Christians and trying to deliver their message of Good News through interpretive dance are not part of a cult! In fact, it's very very different than a cult. Like polar opposites!

This picture here doesn't help my argument much but I promise you that the toe-heads worshipping this God are totally different than those people who worship other gods.


Sure there were neigh-sayers in the crowd who giggled and snickered at the southern teens and their message of hope, but that's okay because they'll pay forever in hell. Sorry. Not.

Here a Christian is lured into the world of pot smoking. The girl on the left takes a drag from her "joint" while the others laugh gaily. Tell me these aren't the exact same kids from Hell House.

But easily, the most dramatic part of the show was the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Their youth leader got to play both Jesus and Satan (the difference was Satan wears shades and a baseball cap turned backwards). And see the cross? That's an actor! No kidding.

Here Satan makes people fight each other, and commands a great many other sins from the sidelines of life.

All of the popular sins embraced the victim and engulfed him into a world of filth. I was pleased to see that one of the cuter girls got to play the role of Pornography. Good call.

You can download a video of the sins of man pushing their victim to his breaking point here.

Then after the victim wore all the sins around his neck Satan stepped in to belittle him relentlessly, using aggressive hand gestures. Download a video of that here.
Yes I know these videos are low quality and tiny as hell, but it's still worth the laugh.

Then the victim of sin prayed to Jesus and gave all of his sin up to him and Satan was stricken down, conquered by the mighty hand of Christ, who was then crucified.
Download the beating of Christ here.

I get so excited when I see these religious youth brigades in the city! I feel my heart grow brighter and my energy level rise! I want it to go on forever. I picture them all in their huge, comfort-fit clothes fighting over who gets to be Jesus and Satan and even The Cross! It all takes me back to when I got spoon-fed all of those stories, only I was never foolish (or popular) enough to partake in the theatrical numbers.

After all of this was through they came over to us (because Sarah had one of my GOD IS FAKE pamphlets in her lap for all to see). They asked a lot of questions and I gave them all pamphlets so that they could visit the site when they got home. I got an email from both the Youth Leader and one of the kids (circled in red). Here's what they had to say to me:

Oh Bob, how could I ever forget that life-changing day we encountered the Floridians spreading the word of God in all of his wonder... ah who am I kidding, it was the biggest load of crap I've ever seen! I haven't seen something that horrible come from Florida since November of 2000. Never before had I truly understood the meaning of God-fearing before that day I saw the frightening things that came from this bunch of highschoolers. The blank stares of the brainwashed made me quiver with fear while the pantomime made me chuckle at the sheer absurdity of it all.

As the troupe finished their set with a "comedy" skit (something about a male pregnancy, if I recall correctly), I realized my opportunity had arisen to launch a peaceful protest, a 'sit in' of sorts, by planting on my lap one of the very flyers that led me to Satan, err..I mean Bob, in the first place. It wasn't long before good 'ol Mikey tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Umm excuse me, do you mind telling me why you have that?" to which I responded that I was merely expressing my views as well.

The troupe soon finished their skit and a began to gather around us, baffled by our lack of love and obsession for Jesus Christ almighty and throwing questions at us such as, "Well if there's no God where did we come from?" and "If there's no God what happens when you die?" and the old fall back, "What happened to you that you don't believe in God?" I tried my best to explain to them the utter absurdity of it all and how I strayed from the path of the good Catholic school girl that I used to be (that's right folks, a REAL LIFE catholic school girl!).

Bob watched on quietly but soon I became overwhelmed by their empty eyes and parroted questions so I passed the ball off to him in all of his infinite wisdom. I watched Bob with starry eyes (yes, I had to fight the urge to make out with him right then and there) as he shot down argument after argument from these kids and their pastor *ahem* cult leader.

I distinctly remember the glow of pride in the eyes of the youth leader as he watched his young followers face Satan's ugliness, even as Bob continued to make a mockery of their feeble attempts at denying the truth.

Sadly, their time for preaching was soon up and they had to leave, knowing that they had not saved us and we would be doomed to burn in hell for all of eternity. Oh well, I think I'll have more fun down there anyway.

Sinfully Yours,

* * * * * *

3 years later...
Hi Bob,
My name is Jeff. A group I was with was feautured on your Amazing Strangers page once as "The Floridian Pantomime Christian Brigade Performers". I don't know if you remember us or not. We were doing some skits in Union Park in June of 2004. You posted us one your web site. I wasn't able to find the page by navigating your site but I have the link to refresh your memory. I was the one that was wearing the huge comfort fit pants and hawaiian shirt.

The reason I'm e-mailing you is because I have since then pretty much given up on religious beliefs, and right now I'm really not sure what I follow. This is mainly due to getting screwed by the church I was going to. It really made me think about what they were treaching compared to what they were doing. Plus just a lot of the ideas that Christianity offers. It brought me to the point where I am trying to untangle what I believe because it was fed to me and what I truly believe. I wanted to get your personal views on atheism and what made you change, because it seems you use to follow the Bible because you know quite a bit about it. Correct me if I'm wrong. Also I will say that after we met and I viewed your web site I was somewhat intrigued by what you do and the leaflets you hand out. So, my other question is if it would be possible to go on an outing with you one weekend when you go. I meant to add earlier in the e-mail that I recently just moved to Jersey in June on a job transfer.

Well I hope to hear back from you. Thanks.


more to come...

Subject: Bob I do not hate you
Bob, I do not hate you, I was the youth pastor at Union Park from Florida, doing the drama skits. Some of my youth and a couple of my leaders talked to you.

You were not rude to them, but obviously not receptive. They just wanted you to know the truth, and they came to you in love. You know as well as me that they did not treat you with hate. Our group did not preach hate; you know this you were there. Bob I will be praying for you, as I am sure many others do. I am not your enemy, nor do I hate you, this may be called hate mail, but you know that my group and I did not come to you in hate. We only want to share the love of Christ. Bob, Christ really changed my life.

Before Christ, I was a man of hate, all of which he has removed from me, my marriage and family is 100% better and turned around through Christ. Relationships with other family members have also been reconciled through Christ, such as with my dad and me. I could listed thousands of things that God has done for me, and some of them were truly miraculous.

Thank you for time, and not your enemy.
In Christ, Bob

Robert Leko

I have but one question for you Robert: Why do you hate me? Why do you make me your enemy?

Okay, I'm just messin' with you. Where did you come up with the idea that I think you hated me? I don't believe that in any point of our conversation I said anything like, "Why do you hate me?" or "I know you guys all hate me but..."

All that I thought about you was that you were a bit silly with your drama skits, and that your method of spreading The Word was only alienating people. It hardly made you appear respectable, knowledgeable or rational. I believe that I told you this when we had our discussion. Was I behaving as if I thought you hated me?

How do you expect people to be receptive to you if you're jumping to conclusions about what they think and feel? Is this how you approach people? "I do not hate you even though you think that I do." Does making yourself the victim guilt people into listening to you? Is that the lesson you learned from Jesus?

Would you like to know how I really think of you? It's in the exact same way that you yourself feel about someone who worships a tiki, the sun, a cow, or David Koresh. It's no different than the feelings you have for those folks. You think that they are confused, uneducated and flaky. That is how I feel about you.

You think that the good things that happen in your life are attributed to God and the bad things to Satan. You think that they both are specifically in battle over your soul while you try and go about living your life. My theory is much less self-centered and delusional. I think that that's just life. You know, its ups and downs. The regular process of events. Sometimes things are good and sometimes they are bad. That's it! No spirits or supreme beings. No ultimate war in the heavens over my soul. Just life.

Thank you for time, and not your enemy.
In Logic, Bob

Subject: Challenge

Hello Bob, how are you doing, thank you for your response. We apparently had a miscommunication. The reason that I thought you thought we hated you was because of your website, not from our meeting, I am sorry about that. Going back to your website, the section for people to respond to you is called hate mail and you must admit that your approach to Christianity comes across a bit hateful. You have a dress up doll of yourself for people to take avenge on, this is not even mentioning the Jesus dress up magnets. You came up up with this idea, not me. You can see how I may have been confused about the hate thing because of your website. At the park you were very respectful to me and my group. You were not dressed up like Satan, with your unholy Catholic girls harassing us. I do thank you for that. Bob you claim to be atheist, yet you have a strong resentment, or should I say it appears you you have a strong resentment toward Christ. The majority of your website attacks Him and Christianity. I mean you appear to have a interest in Satan too Bob, who you claim you do not believe in. You dress up like him(Why?). That does not appear as a atheist statement. Their is very little science on your site, and very little mention of your thoughts toward other beliefs, just a lot attacks against Christ.

Bob I would like to continue to correspond with you, if you do not mind. I would also like to send you some scientific tapes by some of the leading scientist in the world, with tons of scientific evidence for creation and God. All that I ask is that you watch them with a open mind, and if you could send them back to me. If you can not send them back, keep them. You seem like a very intelligent guy, and this challenge should be right up your alley. What do you have to lose? If you you are willing to do this please send me a address to where you would like me to send them.

Just so you do not think this is some kind of trick, my address is XXXXXXXXXX. Bob thank for your time, and I hopefully look forward to talking to you, as intelligent adults.

In Christ, Bob

Robert Leko

All of the "hate" you see on my site, I don't see it as that. What I see is your observations being knee-jerk and overly sensitive. You seemed to have missed the humor in it all. My "attacks" on Christ are all very childish (as you can see) and hardly relevant to Him as a person (dressing up to look silly, making Him look like a stooge, etc.). These are not the product of hatred. I'm making Jesus human again, just as He was some 2000 years ago. He's not the miracle working, superhuman, Son of a Supreme Being as legend would have you believe. The fact that people still buy into those tales despite so much evidence and logic against them is what I mock and make fun of. You yourself know that these are unbelievable stories. Labeling me as someone who hates (instead of assuming that I'm shining light onto the tall tales) is your way of skirting the point. I know you're not trying to trick me, I just think your social skills are all fucked up and you don't even realize your own methods.

The hate mail on my site is mostly just that. There are definitely people who hate me (or who they think I am) who write in letters, and I post them. I know that there are those Christians who do not hate me, even love me (with their own definition of "love" without knowing someone). I added the subheading "Complaint Dept." because that's really what it is, everyone complaining about what I think and what I've done. So yeah - Hate Mail. I don't take it personally, or very seriously, as all hate mail should be regarded.

Yes, I dress up as Satan. Why? Well, mostly because I think it's cool. The first time I dressed up in the outfit was Halloween 2002, and it got such a strong reaction that I couldn't resist making it a reoccurring character. You see, these are characters you take very very seriously, I on the other hand, do not.

I like playing with this superstitious nonsense that so many adults have completely succumbed to. I think that fucking with it exposes how so many religious people are anxious to believe without question or forethought, and this is exactly why they're religious.

Of course dressing up as Satan is an atheist statement! It sure isn't a Christian statement; devaluing such a dreadful entity without giving the Prince of Darkness the respect he is due as the arch nemesis of God. It sure isn't a devil worshipper's statement. A devil worshipper would never reduce his god to that of a clown in a tuxedo. An atheist however, places no such value on these characters so therefore he can dress up as Satan for fun, and in doing so expresses his own disbelief. Frightening the superstitious wackos is just an added bonus.

Hell, I also see it as just being really really funny. C'mon! Satan skipping around town handing out GOD IS FAKE fliers to everybody? Promoting Jesus Dress Up? Even you have to admit that that's a funny concept! It's all a joke, as it should be. It's the sentiment of an atheist, in my opinion.

I will gladly watch your video as open minded as I can, but I will not lie, I have never been so positive about anything as I am about there being no God. When you said "some of the leading scientist in the world" I laughed out loud. I am fully aware that there are scientists who believe in Jesus Christ and their goal is to somehow prove Creationism, while in the same note denounce science because most evidence proves otherwise. I am anxious to see this "TONS" of evidence.

Mail away!

The video was never sent, so here's the letter from one of the kids.

Subject: We ran into each other at Union Square Park

Hey Bob
Just wondering if you are "Normal Bob Smith" why do you dress up like Satan thats not very normal but on a serious note what made you get started on this and what are you trying to accomplish by doing this.

The world is in a horrible place because of people like you telling people there isn't a higher power when you know there is u are just mad at him for some reason when he gave you the very breathe you are breathing right now to read this and if you want to talk to me more write me back and I was the one of the group that first talked to you that day in the park of 7/15/04 we were the group performing in front of Abe

Mike Carli

Good question Mike! I suppose that my "Normal" description is meant to be kinda sarcastic. You know, here I am dressing up as Satan runnin' around in a tuxedo and I'm calling myself "Normal Bob!" Ha ha ha! But on a more serious note...

Don't leap to conclusions quite so quickly about me Mike (even though it is tempting to make the knee-jerk reaction to spare any effort in thought). Believe it or not I really do believe that there is no God. No kiddin'! I believe that the fantasy of God exists, but I am absolutely sure that that's all God is: Fantasy.

Sure, maybe an immature teenager might have the I-hate-God-therefore-He-doesn't-exist-ha-ha-on-God angst, but I am a grown adult, Mickey. I'd like nothing more than to have an eternity in heaven and a God to pray to when I need help. And the last thing I'd do is test the God I believed in by teasing His dead Son and mocking His sacrifice on a website.

Now that I'm older I realize that true belief isn't something you have to talk yourself into and force yourself to believe no matter how unbelievable it sounds. True belief is when you know it's true because all the evidence points towards it being true and even though it isn't the answer you want there's no denying that it's exactly what you believe. That's what atheism is for me. An undeniable ugly truth that I could no longer avoid.

I found that believing in spirits, eternal paradise, Satan, talking animals and magical gardens was nice as a child but as I grew older it began to fuck with my head. You don't know yet what that's like, but for me it wasn't pleasant. I had to take full responsibility for my life and make it happen all by myself. It was a painful and difficult time for me and it annoys me when you tell me that I know God is real and I'm just mad at Him. Your thoughtless assumption is the absolute opposite of what you should be doing if you're trying to open up the lines of communication with somebody. It's clear that you learned a lot of your techniques from your youth pastor, Robert Leko. He told me what I thought as well! He told me that I think you hate me and that we're enemies.

You guys've got a lot to learn. Figuring out that God is fake is the least of your worries. Sharpen those social skills first!


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Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.

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