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Photo by Normal Bob
Whiggers from the Ukraine are like, 500% more whigger than our lightweight American versions. Over there they whigger like they alone have to make the whigger statement for their whole continent all at once.

Photo of photo by Normal Bob
Abe, you are one creepy mother fucker. There's no question in my mind why you had to force the word "Honest" into your name. Your yellowy, tapeworm flesh and those empty hallow eyes peering out at me from that ad. You're gonna swallow the monsters in my nightmares whole when I go to sleep tonight.

Photo by Normal Bob
I had to stop this guy on the subway and ask him if I could take his picture. This is style. The Chucks with the suit, the hat and black rimmed glasses. I think it's just a great look. One that I wish I could pull off half as well, but I just never got into Ska.

Photos by Normal Bob
What the fuck is up with this couple? Are they supposed to be standing in front of, like, their art collection or what? He's like some stringy haired, retro holocaust trying to incorporate 3 different decades of the worst guedo trends ever into one!

And his god-forsaken hair makes me want to puke! I could feel the insects with their scissor mouths creeping around his scalp from ten feet away. What women will put up with, they should be ashamed. You can tell she's only into him for his body.
God I was so happy they agreed to pose for a picture.

Photo by Normal Bob
This girl, "Panda," threw a "Panda Party" for herself, inviting any Brooklyn hipster she could get her hands on to dress up in black & white so she could pretend to have 500 friends.

The most pathetic part was all the lonely guys following her around and the joy she got from ignoring them. So Bob gave her what she wanted: Attention.

He pretended to be infatuated as he pawed, grabbed and licked her... and she kept coming back for more. The crash was complete when a few of these "too hip for you" hipsters were holdin' a shoe over a candle until the rubber started to burn. Then Bob leaped up batting at his hair like his head was in flames! He did it so perfectly. Everyone could smell the smoke and they were freakin' out, while the girls who actually burned the shoe slipped it back on their foot and acted like they had nothin' to do with anything. Soon after that the whole party broke up and Bob and I walked away thoroughly amused. That night, Bob showed me how much fun crashing a party could be.

Photo by Normal Bob
That's right folks, it's a baby carrier for your dog. If you were afraid that the little sweaters didn't rob your pets of enough of their dignity, well you can rest assured that the the yuppies have taken it to the next level.
Now I ask you... no, in fact I DARE you to look just a little closer at what's goin' on here. As if the K-9 Karrier wasn't enough look at what it does to the dog balls! YEEE-OUCH!!!

This is a message for her husband: "She wants a baby! She needs to get fucked and have a baby! This can only get worse! Fuck your wife, give her a kid and put an end to this insanity!!!!"

Photo by Venessa Nina
See, what happens is Venessa goes and sits in the park, then there's these guys who just stand there and stare at the girls. That's all they do, stand there and stare, for like, all fuckin' day!

So what happens is Venessa takes pictures of them. She's a photographer you know.

Photo by Normal Bob
So, there was this guy up in the entryway of a vacant mini-mall playing guitar and singing Mariachi music with a delicious looking meal on a TV tray complete with red wine, side dishes and, yes, salad dressing.

You HAVE to give a guy his props when he knows his paradise, he foresees his paradise and then he creates his paradise right here on the surface of planet earth. This is what it's all about people.

Photo by Venessa Nina
These kids were just so adorable in their balloon hats hammin' it up for Venessa's camera. We both couldn't help and go "Awwww."

That is, right up until we noticed that frightening gash across her throat like she survived a botched mob hit or somethin'.
I mean, wtf?!?

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Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.
NORMAL BOB SMITH DESIGN NEW YORK


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