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Photo by Normal Bob
I followed these 3 guys for about 5 blocks as they stared at every girl's tits who walked by. Each time their heads would all turn in unison, left to right, then forward, then right, then left again as if they had magnets in their noses and the tits were the North Pole.

I also imagined that the reason they dressed as they did was because they were all unanimously ashamed of the size of their asses.

This is the kind of make-believe I play when I'm alone walking behind strangers.


Photo by Normal Bob
You know what? Fuck it! I like this guy simply for being the exact opposite of those three big assed goofs to the left.

Props to you effeminate, bicycling, hairdo guy doing what looks to be The Robot. Props to you for being opposite of something I despise.

Photo by Normal Bob
Are you an American? Are you a guy? Well, if you just answered "fuck yeah" to both of these questions, congratulations! This is exactly what everybody outside of the U.S. thinks of when they hear the words: "American Guy."

He's got it all! The entire American dream made mobile, attached to his body in some way or another.

And here's where you're supposed to be impressed by him.

Photos by Sarah Torneten
Here's an amazing story to go along with this amazing stranger. These pictures were taken by a fan/friend of mine, Sarah.

She was at Union Square and saw this OUTRAGEOUS prankster with a CRAZY sign alluding to the notion that he'd be willing to get naked for any free-spirit uninhibited enough to "find out how." Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! What an idea!!
Now here's the amazing part of the story. If you look to the right of the hoaxster you'll see a familiar face hangin' out in his usual spot at the Square. See him? It's me goddammit!

Sarah said that she didn't even realize that I was there until she got home and saw them on her comp. Crazy, right?

Photos by Normal Bob
So here's the deal, once you turn old, like say 60+ and you just end up being a little bald old man, life is pretty much over for you. You mean nothing. Everybody pays no attention to you and they care for you even less. In fact, you could curl up into a ball and die of a broken heart in some back alley rat's nest and the garbage man who has to throw you into the back of his truck wouldn't even flinch.
So you may as well throw on a flowery orange & green sundress, a funny hat and a pair of rollerblades and clumsily roll from light post to light post stopping only to hike up your matching green socks.
Jesus God, what am I gonna do. Somebody please shoot me in 30 years, okay?


Photos by Normal Bob
This guy made the papers the next day for his Amazing Strangerness. What he did was, well it's pretty obvious. He climbed the light pole at Astor Place and Cooper to protest the No Right Turn at that corner.

Okay, that was a joke. He's a war protestor who "crucified" himself up where the police couldn't reach him to drag him down.
He'd been up there for over two hours by the time I was walking by and took these pictures.
Eventually the police figured it out, got a ladder, pulled him down and drove him off. And the war kept on going, and more people died, and I walked away to take more stupid pictures of funny looking people on the streets of New York.

Photo by Normal Bob
You only have to be hit by a car once to learn your lesson.

Photo by Normal Bob
You only wish you were as important as this guy. In fact, he's so privileged he parked his BMW on the wrong side of a one way street in front of a fire hydrant wearing his phone on his ear while he dines in the East Village.

This guy is precisely the reason why the junkies and crazy old men in sun dresses are a necessary thing. Balance this kind of shit out.

Photo by Normal Bob
"Hi! I'm Nathaniel. I like industrial music and punk rock music, and hardcore too! I'm single, and kinda goth, but I'm really not as tough as you might think I am from how I dress. Seriously! Surprisingly I'm really really nice!"

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Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.
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