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Photo by Normal Bob
Squatters have a way of being cute that just can't be duplicated by anybody else. It's one of those kinds of cute where you wish you had it right up until you got it, then you wish you were back in a place with a shower and a bed and more than just enough money to spell out the word "LOVE" in pennies.

Photo by Normal Bob
You know when you're single how much it sucks to see loving couples and you feel that sting of jealousy each time you see them walk on by like they got somethin' you can't have?

Well, at this moment I was wanting to be even more single than I already am.

Photo by Normal Bob
So this guy comes to the park, pulls up a post and just stares between girls' legs! That's it! Simple enough, right? Just pull right up and your day is made. What, and you girls think we're not romantics? You think the dream is dead? You think there's no more Romeos?

I say you don't even know when you're being loved!

Photo by Normal Bob
Then there was this girl. I was like, "Hey! Cute!" Then she walked over to the trash can, pulled out a bag and started eating a half eaten burger from it!

Then I was like, "Oh my god! She's eating garbage out of that garbage can!"

Then she walked over to another garbage can reached in and finished off someone's Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino, and I was like, "Hey, I bet I could totally score with that girl!"

Photo by Jo
When I told Jo to take a picture of this guy I had no idea it'd be all about his monster feet! I thought I'd just be writing something about that pirate shirt and facial hair, but Jesus Christ! Look at those dragon claws of his!!!!

Have you ever seen anything like that comin' out of pants like those ones he's got on?!? Those beasts should be curled around some perch outside of a castle somewhere far far away from me! Ugh!

Photo by Normal Bob
This guy was totally rockin' the brick post at the entrance to Tompkin's Square. He had his mirrored sunglasses dangling from his mouth, the collar up on his pink shirt, flip flops and khaki shorts like he was waitin' for someone to say somethin' about it.

Then when they did, he'd act like he couldn't hear 'em, and look the other way. Then when they'd walk away laughing at him he just ignored 'em, like he didn't even care. But I knew he did. I could see the tear, be it ever so slight. But it was there. I saw it. Because despite how majestic we appear to be, us men have feelings too.

Photo by Normal Bob
I couldn't resist taking this picture. This was one of those girls who when she wasn't thinkin' about it had one of the most god-awful sour faces on her, like she was watching a bum shitting out his mouth.

She strolled through, gazing at the people, her with that putrid snot-face. She'd walk a little further, her never losing that scum sucking sour puss. Just a constant look of absolute disgust even when she relaxed.

I can't even illustrate how much I love this. Her face frozen like that whether she's in love, solving a math equation, or simply enjoying a lovely walk through the park.

And I also know that if any of her friends ever see this, they'll just say, "Yeah, that's Britney, and that's just the way her face is."

Photo by Normal Bob
Remember a few pages back on Amazing Strangers when I talked about that hardcore leprechaun punk guy and him waiting for his friend and how sweet it was? Well, last week I met that guy and he is one funny fucker.

His name is Roc Rockit, he's German, he's a street performer and has worked the Coney Island Freak Show. He eats fire, dangles small children from his ear lobes and swallows a 5ft long balloon, completely. I was totally impressed. If you get a chance to see him I STRONGLY advise that you do just that. Union Square, random evenings after 7 or 8.

Email Roc. He'd be delighted to hear from you.

Photo by Normal Bob
Um, no. No. No no no no no no no no no no no no.

Wait. Um... no.
No no no no no no no no no no no no no no. Absolutely not. Never. Nuh uh.
No. Not. Never. No. Bad. Wrong. Shouldn't be. Can't. Won't. Isn't. Ain't. Bad. Can't again. Shouldn't. Couldn't. Wouldn't. Surely not.

No no no. Never. Please no.

End communication.

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Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.

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