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Photo by Normal Bob
Yes! YES! Oh how I love Union Square! Say what you want about it, but you will not find this kind of shit anywhere else in America! Fuckin' Yellow-man, Keep-on-Truckin' dude!

And look! LOOK! That guy on his sleeve with the ripped abs! Fuckin' A. Crumb nailed it.


Photo by Normal Bob
When you're a dog you don't get any say in what owner you end up with. You just have to deal with whatever you're dealt, whether it's a man, woman or anything in between. You just gotta take it as it comes, and when you're dealt a dud you make the best of it, hang back and hang low. It's survival, man. Bite the fuckin' bullet.

Photo by Normal Bob
Goddamn. When you're the fuckin' shit you don't even gotta say so. You just are. She'd be a fuckin' rockin' girlfriend. You wanna know why? Because the ex-girlfriends who you're still cool with she'll be down with too, and the ex-girlfriends who hate you, she'd pop their nose like a ripe-plum if they got in her face. because life's all about how your present girlfriend reacts to your ex's, right?

Photo by Noah Rider
I know that there's going to be many of you seeing this picture and saying, "What? What's so AMAZING about them?" But here in the city these sorts of folks stand out like you wouldn't believe!

I mean, the dad's makin' it so obvious, and the mother kickin' back in her pants, and then those two lost sons, Christ! Is it just me? Tell me it's not just me.

Photo by Normal Bob
Okay, maybe I'm not making myself clear. Lemme think how to do this. Let's just say that when we see them we all go: "Oh yeah, that's why you don't get married and move to the suburbs. I almost forgot. Thanks for the reminder."

Photo by Noah Rider
Maybe I'm just fascinated because I was once one of them? Is that it? I guess it makes it easier to understand why a majority of the population laughs out loud at sitcoms, voted for Bush, and thinks they get to go to heaven for believing the right story. I mean, who wears sunglasses like that? They actually listened to ads on TV!!! They believed 'em! So futuristic! They're all Terminators! And I bet they all enjoy the same music too! Jesus Christ, I love gawking at midwestern, suburban, white folks.

Photo by Normal Bob
Don't you just wanna haul off and punch this LA hipster guy right in the center of his face? Like, your fist goin' right down the middle into that visor, crashing it into his nose so hard that his shoes are still taking a few last steps while he's airborne, barefoot, flyin' over people's heads into heavy traffic?

That's what it's all about, when you're an LA hipster in NYC. Or at least, that's what it should be all about.

Photo by Normal Bob
So, as a girlfriend, what do you do if your boyfriend insists on this? Like, "This is how it's gonna be from now on! Take it or leave it!" Do you just take it?

Is it because she has such a low self-esteem? Is that it? Christ, that's what it looks like to me. What a shitty thing to do. Take advantage of your girlfriend's low self image and rub it in her face like that. Does he think it makes him look like a big man? Heartless bastard.

Photo by Normal Bob
My favorite thing about this guy was how he rolled up to Union Square and went straight to the Hacky-sackers (see video) and just stood there. Then when they said something to him, he was like "What? Oh! These things! Yeah, I made 'em. Funny you should bring them up, bla bla bla" Then he just wheeled away into the crowd (see another video) leaving us all to wonder if maybe perhaps we were all just in the presence of an angel, but let him slip away because we were too busy talkin' shit.

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Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.
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