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Photo by Normal Bob
There will never be a New York City like fuckin' old school rock-n-roll Ramones style Bowery junkie New York. All that's left are few scattered bones who still somehow manage to walk around upright. Ghosts of what NYC used to be...

Photo by Normal Bob
What the fuck are you talking about?!?!

New York still fuckin' rocks! It's still CBGB's, Jack Daniels and smack, not even a mother could love, Romones-esque black tar in a syringe! Only now it's just a little more bisexual and there's a better selection of hair dyes.

Photo by Noah Rider
Jesus fucking Christ, what's with Amazing Strangers having all this style? This section is supposed to be filled with losers for us all to laugh at! Not punked out rock stars and their fuckin' perfect Yellow Man style all the way down to the Wendy's cup matching the dress, the shades and the hair. Fuckin' mulatto albino toddlers spit in all ya'alls faces!

Photo by Normal Bob
Yeah, here's what you all were talkin' about. Some funny-lookin' mother fucker we all can laugh at. Those chicken legs and double D's! Are those implants? Steroids? Fuck, I pray for the future of the human race that it's not genetics!

And you know what the best part of all this is? It all came about in an attempt to not look gay! And there he sits, Mister Tits.

Photo by Noah Rider
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Marly, and you know you're a dirtbag when you go and beg for spare change from preteen little girls. "Do you all know what a duckets is? Could you help me out with some duckets?"

Then, after they tell you they're not going to give you any money you try to lay the moves on 'em. Smooth moves, like "Where you all from?" and "Y'all is cute."

Seconds after Marly walked away the two girls got up and ran away from Union Square. Another ugly life-lesson learned. Instructor: Marly.

Photo by Normal Bob
What the average hipster model chick doesn't realize is that by sitting alone, that in itself means that she's flirting with every guy in sight, no matter how much of a dud he might be.

Photo by Normal Bob
In fact, sitting alone means that she's not only flirting with every guy who lays eyes on her, but she's esspecially flirting with the duds! And her not responding to your request for the time, that's her saying "Yes! Please! Talk to me more!"

Photo by Noah Rider
"No! The voice mocking us came from over there I tell you! I'm sure of it! I heard it so clearly!"

"No, You're wrong! It came from that direction! The yelling about mom's hat and dress came from that direction! I'd bet my life on it!"

"You're surely sure? How can you be so sure? The voices mocking us are coming from many directions! From over there and over there and..."

"Yes, and over there! I assure you, most of the mocking laughter and comments about mom's dress are from that general area there! Northeast."

"Okay, I have to agree with Rodney at this point. The comments about my dress and our family are mostly coming from that direction."

"Yes. Rodney's correct. Now we all agree. It's mostly coming from over there. Mostly."

Photo by Venessa Nina
This is Sloppo. Sloppo is regular entertainment for my friends and me at Union Square. Wherever Sloppo goes adventure is sure to follow.

Here Sloppo has just gotten doused with an extra large Mango Smoothie. You see, when you're loaded up on angel dust you tend to think everything is just yours for the taking. So when some gangsta from Bronx waltzes in with his 8 dollar fruit smoothie, the dust-head will just reach right over and try to take a swig from it without even asking. That's what happened to Sappo this day. The day that Sloppo got a mango fruit smootie dumped on top of his head.

Photo by Normal Bob
So Sloppo is left to ponder the consequences of his actions while, in a bitterly ironic twist fate, the flies take Sloppo's mango fruit smoothie away from him without asking.

Photo by Normal Bob
When good pervs die, they go straight to Cleavage Heaven.

In Cleavage Heaven all you do all day is stand around and stare down women's tops at the Union Square Subway entrance steps. It's too beautiful of a place to even describe! There are even times when you'd swear you can see God's Own Heavenly glow radiating down its cleavage blessings.

Photo by Normal Bob
And it should be no surprise if while you're there you see an Amazing Stranger celebrity looking down there with you. Because even Peepers knows of the wonders cradled in a paradise known as Cleavage Heaven.

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Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.

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