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Photo by Normal Bob
This wasn't just a one time occurrence. Friends of mine have seen her around on other days with the exact same get up (Oompa Loompa wig, walker & Jedi cloak). Fuckin' rock-n-roll man. THIS is the reason I left Chicago and came to NYC. You just don't see anything like her in the Midwest.



Photo by Normal Bob
This is a Graver, right? I mean, that's what the studded choker is tellin' me. Yeah, it's a Graver. Christ, I gotta stop bein' so insecure with these decisions and just stick with my gut feelings.

There's nothin' more scary than goin' out unsure whether or not your Graver Radar can be trusted. It's, like, fuckin' unsettling.



Photo by Normal Bob
Oh god, no.

Okay, so first of all she might as well have a sign around her neck saying that she doesn't wear panties. And that's never good in jeans no matter how good you think you wipe. That's one thing.

But you know what's gonna happen? Some middle aged lady is gonna think this is the next big thing and go out and get herself a pair of these jeans, squeeze through them and it's gonna be pantiless, and it's going to be a dark day for all of mankind.

Photo by Normal Bob
Skater Bob New York Street Smarts Tip #273: If a stranger ever comes up to you and asks if they can use your cell phone, don't just say "No."
Instead point in any direction over their head and tell 'em, "TCC Phone! 75¢ anywhere in the country! There's one on every corner." And you have to nod your head and say it with an cocky smirk like you're the biggest know-it-all on the planet. And if it doesn't work right away, simply repeat.

That makes any free-loading dirtbag go away.


Photo by Venessa Nina
One of the funny things that I've experienced since moving here to New York that I'd never seen before is witnessing first hand the frequent and predictable junk related falls of the human being over the course of just a couple years. This girl is one of those cases.

Just a few years ago she was another teenager hangin' around the cube, goth, bashful and (found out later) a runaway. Then the winter comes and goes, and in the spring I see her doin' more of the punk thing, hangin' out with squatters, a little less feminine, a little more soulless. The transformation is so predictable.

Then another year passes and there she is, a useless junkie squatter nodding out in a Starbucks with her Grande Mocha Frappuccino and her forehead on the tabletop. Now I've almost gotten to the point where I can see the kid and predict their nodding routine almost to the month. It's sad but true.

Photo by Normal Bob
So Skater Bob and I are hangin' out in front of Duane Reede on Broadway & 8th and there's this junky lady that we're both familiar with hangin' around the garbage can there on the corner. She's just kinda strollin' around it, and then she went and seemed as if she was throwin' something away, like a napkin or something. But instead of tossing whatever it was in, she reached in and kinda held her arm in there for a little longer than any normal person would. She was just sorta lookin' up while her arm was hangin' in the trash can.

So then she went inside Duane Reede and Bob took my camera, walked over to the can, and snapped a picture of the inside. Then he brought the camera back and we zoomed around on the display until we found what we were lookin' for. Can you find what we found? Click and see if you find it. It's fun!

So then of course after spotting the "item" we both started laughing our heads off, and I stood on top of this ledge so that I could see what they were all doing in there. And when I got a glimpse of them in the checkout line I held my camera as high as I could and started snappin' pictures of 'em though the store window. And I got this great shot of the both of them!

Photo by Normal Bob
The one on the left side is the one who was hangin' over the trash can (that's a giant scab on her forehead), and the one on the left (we found out later) was trying to return merchandise that they didn't purchase! It's just funny, and that picture of the inside of the trash can is so perfect! If you didn't spot what I'm talkin' about, click here and I'll show ya.


Photo by Normal Bob
I think this is officially the signal for me to do an Amazing Strangers page especially for the Hipsters.

These, in all actuality, are not Hipsters, per say. Number one, they are too young, and number two, they are a bit too goth to be hipsters, but this is the hipster thing, morphed by high school kids who probably have older siblings hanging out in Williamsburg doing a more authentic version of it.

But yeah, these are kiddy-hipsters givin' each other haircuts at Union Square, and it is most definitely one of the seven signs of the hipster apocalypse. Run for your life.

Photo by Normal Bob
Everybody, we're in fucking trouble. If you weren't already depressed enough over the war in Iraq and the shit we've gotten ourselves in over there then this should do it. Our Nation, short on soldiers, has chosen Union Square to recruit the protectors of our great land.

And we all know what that means. That's right. Gravers. The same Gravers who Kung Fu fight each other using paper towel tubes as light sabers and make sound effects like "Vvvvrrrroooommm!" and "Rzrrreeeeerr-wah wah!" while they swing back and forth at each other are being cherry-picked by the US Government to fight... with real weapons.

We're so fucked.

Photo by Normal Bob
Oh man. Nothin' gets me goin' like knee high socks, one of those cute, puffy white winter coats and a little pink mini skirt with just a hint of white cotton panties peakin' ou...

OH MY DEAR LORD JESUS CHRIST! I swear to God I thought, I thought... Oh God, this is gonna stick with me, just like the time my friend asked me if I wanted to look under her bandage at the nailless thumb! AAHHHHHHHH!

(C) 2008 All pictures featured here are my property because they were taken by me & my friends with my camera, so they're all mine!

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© 2012 All photos and videos are property of NormalBobSmith.com
Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.
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