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Photo by Normal Bob
There's really not much I can say about this other than it's a block of ice that somebody dropped right in the middle of Union Square Park, and frozen inside of it is a dead cat. A dead, bloody cat, frozen in a chunk of ice, in the middle of the square, with a crowd around it watching it melt.

Photo by Normal Bob
It sat there for about an hour or so, and then, much to my dismay, it was picked up by the park janitors, dropped into one of those huge rolling garbage bins, and pushed away. That's it. End of story. Show's over, folks. You can all go home now.

Photo by Normal Bob
The first time I saw this guy a few years ago there was this family, tourists, and they all wanted their picture taken with him. They had two kids, like a 6 & 10 year old, who posed with him, hugging him, and his arms around the mom, and all that shit. The kids asked him if he knew Harry Potter, it was really a special moment for everyone.

When they were done takin' pictures with The "Union Square Wizard," they went a few feet away from him to discuss where to visit next. While they talked amongst themselves, the Wiz turned to a garbage can and started digging through it.  Then he pulled out a half eaten cheeseburger and Starbucks coffee cup and gulped it all down right in front of 'em!

Photo by Normal Bob
It was beautiful. Watching that family watch him eat garbage was incredible. They all quickly fled the park in disgust.

This ain't Disneyland, people. This is fuckin' Union Square and that's The Garbage Wiz.

Video by Normal Bob
There's nothing harder to be around than a bad mime. And this girl was one of the worst. She came to the park with two friends (the girls on the left) and she put out her cup and struck a pose.

She just stood there doing nothing, and after a while when no one would put any money in the cup, her friends (pretending to be amused strangers) put a dollar in the cup, and then she (the "mime") did this crazy robot dance that you really have to see to believe.

She jerked around like she having a seizure. I'm sure it was an act she got complimented once on in drama class or something, and decided she was good enough to take it to the streets.

But even better than watching her, was watching her friends try to act like they didn't know her, completely embarrassed for her, having to hang around to fake putting dollars in her cup while no crowd stayed to watch. [video 3] In this video those are her friends, and the one on the phone you just know is sayin', "We're out here helpin' Jen, but I don't know. She's really bad, and I don't know how to get out of this, and she wants to do this for another 4 and a half hours."

Photo by Normal Bob
Remember that Amazing Stranger I once posted who was passed out, and he had that stream of urine makin' its way across the park to that drain there? And remember that one homeless guy I got a picture of with his balls comin' out his shorts and layin' on steps right over there ?

Hell, do you remember that dead cat a few pictures back that some fucked up mental case left to melt right there by that drain?

Now do you see this lady layin' flat on her belly in that same spot like she's in her bedroom writin' in her diary? I'll tell you this, she's soakin' up more than just the rays here today.

Movie by Normal Bob
Now I know that a couple weeks ago I asked for this guy's head on a platter for his horrible Bob Marley routine at the park. But today I have to admit that he may have just made up for all that shit when he got in the break dancer's circle and mocked everything they were doin' like only a white, NYU stoner could.

[video] You gotta watch this. The Dancing Dweeb takes it all the way to the bridge.

Movie by Ana
So we got a new regular at my coffee shop. She comes in lookin' like she's already had about 20 expressos, doin' the pogo and acting like she's been dwelling on how to beat the Simpson's pinball game game all night. Then she puts in her quarter and starts dancing and yelling as if her coke-high depended on it!

Lately she's even been going so far as to lift the game off it's legs  while she yells, "No! That's was so unfair!"

I know that one of these days she's going to punch her fist right though the glass and simply push the buttons inside to get the score she thinks she deserves.

Photo by Normal Bob
Oh god, man, no one wants to see your hairy nipples.

How about this: If when you take off your shirt your chest makes a crossed-eyed whistling face, then you put your shirt back on and never ever take it off in pubic again. All right? How's that?
 
Photo by Normal Bob
And as if I haven't see enough today; enough hairy nipples, dead cats, and bad mimes, there's always gotta be someone who'll top everybody else. And today it's 17-months-pregnant here.

I mean, JESUS CHRIST, what the fuck is she gonna give birth to? A medicine ball?!?! I had to take this picture quick, because I knew if I waited even a second longer her afterbirth would hit the pavement, and that fat chick in the white sweater would come over and roll around in the placenta.

Movie by Normal Bob
Now you're probably thinking that I'm going to make fun of this guy. Say that it's Napoleon Dynamite hackie sacking, or something like that. Well, compared to the meatheads he's playin' with, and after that cross-eyed-nipple-man, this kid's a relief. I was totally sucked into his world, and that crazy left hand of his is like, madness! Just try and follow it! It'll totally twist up your insides tryin' to make sense of its whole psychedelic scene!

Seriously. No joke. That left hand. Total paranormal freakazoid.

(C) 2008 All pictures featured here are my property because they were taken by me & my friends with my camera, so they're all mine!

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© 2012 All photos and videos are property of NormalBobSmith.com
Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.
NORMAL BOB SMITH DESIGN NEW YORK


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