Jesus Dressup fridge magnets Latest
Latest Updates

Park Map

Dog Molester



Fart Smeller

Free Hugs


Ramblin' Bill








Quarter Guy





NY, I Love You

<< PAST | NEXT >>

Subject: Effervescing Bob
You know what a mall goth is? Basicly a loser who lurks the local mall 24/7. Well you're a Union Square Goth.
Haha... cool. I love Bauhaus. But I don't wear nearly enough black, and I dress like a skinhead (the arch nemesis of goths).
You need a little more practice with your Amazing Stranger spotting.
Bob, you're so gawth you carry a fishnet umbrella and fart bats. <3

Movie by Normal Bob

See that guy on the right who looks like Andy Dick's dad? Well, that's Ratface, and Ratface likes to just stand and stare at the girls in your group. See that group there? They don't know him, and he doesn't know them, but he REALLY likes to give that wincing grin to girls he finds interesting. Then he came and sat next to us and stared and Bob took my camera, leaned in and held it out and snapped this beautiful picture of the two of them together doing the "Ratface!"

Movie by Skater Bob
Skater Bob with Ratface! It's one for the history books!

Photo by Normal Bob
Ummmm, okay... lemme think.

All right, I almost got it. It's on the tip of my tongue! Yes, yes, ok. I got it. Here it is.

Um, No.
smiling junky
Photo by Skater  Bob

So I'm walking up to Union with a friend explaining to him how Union Square is different at nighttime than it is during the day. "It's a whole different scene. People are a little crazier, drunker and stupider." Then, not five minutes after we sit down on the steps there this grinning junky comes up and starts singing to us, then shows us his arms, and proceeds to squeeze pus out of his track marks, rubbing it all over his arm. [see video, if you dare] Fucking outrageous, right?

pusy arm
Movie by Normal Bob

Afterwards the junky bums a cigarette and takes a huge drag from it, turns his head and vomits like a fucking volcano all over the steps right were we're sitting! We all leap up and scramble several feet away, laughing in complete disgust while the newly refreshed junky runs off into the night.

Hipster hand in Junky vomit
Photo by Normal Bob

Then, as if this all wasn't enough, a group of Scenesters sit down where we were and one of them leans back an puts his hand right into the vomit, and keeps it there, while we all laughed and took pictures.
"Yeah, so that's Union at night" I explained.

Photo by Skater Bob
Hey, what the fuck am I doing here on Amazing Strangers? I'm no fucking stranger and everyone already knows I'm Amaz...

Wait. Who the fuck is that peering over my left shoulder, and why the fuck is he like sitting DIRECTLY BEHIND ME?!

Yeah, I come to the park to chill and the whole park is empty, and THIS guy comes and sits behind me like we're making a train! Weeeeee! All aboard the Normal Bob Train! I'm the engine and your the caboose! Hooray!!!!


Photo by Normal Bob
Okay, this has got to be one of the most obnoxious, putrid fashion assholes I have ever seen. Jackie-O glasses on a jock-cunt? Ugs and sporto shorts?!?

She was there with gay guys, and I guarantee you she said to them before going out "You know what? I don't even care how I dress! I'm goin' out in this because I'm THIS cool! That's how cool I am!" Or some bullshit of that nature.

And the fucking shit-icing atop this shit-cake is her hairy, unshaven dirty legs next to that sticky monkey-shit green sucker. And one of the guys with her even said, "Um Sheryl? It's time to shave your legs, dear."

What an embarrassment. This is not a true friend, if she hangs with you like this.

Photo by Normal Bob
Do you wanna know what "Awesome" is? Awesome is walkin' by Dallas BBQ on St Marks on a beautiful day with diners drinking margaritas in the sunshine while this lady was weeping and pleading for help on the sidewalk!

And I'm sorry that this picture doesn't show her accurately, because she was NOT asleep. She was raising her hand in the air crying and begging for something that was completely unintelligible. She was saying something like, "Pleeeze! Somebody, give me a drink of water, pleeeze!" while that gay guy flicked his ashes over the rail.

Oh, New York City. You wicked child, you!

Photo by Normal Bob
Don't let people tell you that things are always better "over there." The Euro-trash are just as bad, if not worse, than some of the dippiest Midwestern suburbanites.

But ya gotta give the kid a break. All he had to go with is what those two people had in their reproductive organs. And when you breed a donkey and a horse, you get a mule. Thankfully the mule can't reproduce.

Photo by Normal Bob
I love Gravers. Fuckin' futuristic Matrix vampire raver badass gothic ninja warrior!

How you gonna top that? How's anybody ever gonna top that?!? You can't! It simply can not be done. At least, not any time during this millennium!

Movie by Normal Bob
Oh wait. Okay, this guy can top it. And he tops it by coming out to Union Square with two dogs (leashes wrapped around his fists like they were wild wolves) and does sit-ups that include slamming his forearms on the pavement each time he sits up.

And the best part is, all the black guys quietly watch him and pretend like they're not impressed. Then after the guy leaves they mock him and make fun, mimicking the arm-slamming sit ups and stuff.
...After he's gone.

Have I made my point?

<< PAST | NEXT >>




© 2012 All photos and videos are property of
Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.

nbslink envelope