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Photo by Normal Bob

This is a picture that should not exist. It should not be possible for me to snap a photo of this nature at Union Square. And if the opportunity ever happens to present itself due to a freak alignment of planets or some other fucked up greater force, the park's floor should open up like a giant yawn, followed by a huge slurping sound, and suck 'em up for being such an enormous waste of space.


 It really doesn't get much uglier than this in life.


Photo by Normal Bob

I realize that sometimes it looks as if some of these people are set up. Like I got a friend's mom and said, "Here, do this, this and this. Put on these hoof-shoes, Hahaha, those are great! Oh! And these goat-leg pants with this god awful magenta shirt with a turtleneck, and let's dye your hair blue. Hmmm. No, wait! Orange! AND WE'LL CROP YOUR BANGS TOO SHORT! HAHAHAHA!"


Then I weigh 'em down with a whole buncha bags and say, "Now get on this cell phone and act like you mean it. Perfect! You'll be great on my page! I'll call you the Goat-legged clown-lady" or something of that nature.
Well, I swear to you that I don't ever do that.


Photo by Normal Bob

It still kills me that I didn't get the shot of them like 20 seconds earlier holdin' hands, but you'll have to take my word for it, they're a couple. And that's enough for me.


Photo by Normal Bob

Not sure where to keep your umbrella when it ain't rainin' but you know there's a pretty good chance that it will? How about up your ass? That's right. Just shove the fucker right up your ass, pull your pants up over it, and no one will be the wiser! Then you can walk around town ready for rain.  anxious for rain.  desperate for it to fucking rain already! Yeeouch!


Photo by Normal Bob

All right. I need to calm down and relax. I get all worked up over all the horrible decisions everyone makes all the time, and I overlook it when somebody actually does something well.


Everything is good here. Good and true. They put in the effort, and they did it together. They match by not matching, and they don't look like anybody else. They made the perfect choice to be young, I can deal with the goggles. but most importantly they're in love. You can't get it anymore right than that.


Photo by Normal Bob

It's a blue haired Jew. What more do you want me to say?


Photo by Normal Bob

Okay wait, there's no way this can be happening. I have no attraction to Gravers, right? I already explained that. It just isn't something that...


Jesus Christ, okay, I give! You caught me! I was checkin' out a Graver! What happens now? Is my credibility shot? Do you all go over to SeanBaby.com now so you can laugh at my weaknesses? Yes, there is guilt. I am a fraud. They win, okay? Bastards.



Photo by Normal Bob

It's so hard to get a good glimpse of girl's panties when they're hidin' it all the time keeping their legs together, and switching their position back and forth. Sometimes it's  like they're TRYING to make it  difficult for guys like Peepers.



And that's what we got here today. A guy like Peepers. There ain't no shortage of him here a Union Square, but from the desperation in those eyes, there's most definitely a shortage of quality upskirt shots.


Photo by Normal Bob

And as if those girls on the previous panel hadn't had enough, this guy was at Union just dyin' to get laid! I mean, he wanted to fuck some hot broad so bad he could fucking taste it dripping off the end of his tongue! His beady eyes were drilling holes through every girl that walked by. Then he noticed the two girls sittin' next to me.  So he strutted over, stood in front of 'em, and told them, "Excuse me ladies, you're gonna want to give me a minute of your time. And I promise, you'll be glad you did."


Movie by Normal Bob

The rest I caught on video. So good, in fact, I made him a wallpaper for your comp!


Subject: "Your latest amazing strangers" or "What a coincidence!"

So I was hanging out with my friend Boris and his girlfriend a few weeks ago and looking at them together, I think, "They would make great amazing strangers". Then the thought left me. Then today, looking at the latest crop of Amazing Strangers, guess who I see! BORIS and his girlfriend (whose name escapes me). We really do think very much alike, Bob. Great minds and all that.
I will be sure to tell Boris to check Amazing Strangers.

Ilya Perelman

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Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.
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