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Photo by Normal Bob
You
know those German Dominatrixes who make our American Dominatrixes look
like pansy Hindu Dominatrixes? Well, this was
one of those! And when I went up and asked her if I could take her
picture because I thought she looked fantastic, she looked at me like I
was a fucking talking turd. She sighed as if she was tired of being so
admired all the time, struck a pose (still without saying a word to
me), then went back to just standing there, waving me away with the
back of her hand. No kiddin'.
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Photo by Normal Bob
Okay, so if that German Dominatrix to the left makes American Dominatrixes look like Hindu Dominatrixes, then I'm this guy approaching a German Dominatrix telling her how fantastic she looks and asking for her picture.
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I wonder if this is what Puff
Daddy had in mind when he set forth to fashion Urban America in
adult size pajamas?
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Photo by Normal Bob
This girl really got under Skater Bob's
skin. To me she's just another cute chick with a skateboard who was
partially offended by my flier, but really couldn't express why.
But what Skater
Bob thinks is...
"First of all, this cunt is a
fucking poser that
does not even know how to hold a skateboard. Just like everyone else
that hopped on the band wagon she bought a skateboard and now she
thinks she is down with skaters!! I give it 4 years! And every time she
sees a skater she will say to them 'hey can i try your skateboard? I
used
to skate.' People like her have turned skateboarding into a pussy ESPN
sport!"
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Photo by Chris Thomas
My friend Chris who I haven't seen
since my art school days in Colorado came to visit me in NYC. He's the
friend I mentioned in my Love Diaries who I
lost touch with because we both fell for the same girl Jennifer. That
was the page he had stumbled across several months prior, which
inspired
him to make contact with me again, then come visit after almost 20
years.
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So I brought him to Union Square
to see the sites, and this is the picture he sent me from his visit
there.
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Photo by Normal Bob
Now I know it's been said before "He probably got complimented on this
outfit once and now he never takes it off."
My question is, do you suppose he actually got complimented on this
outfit once? If so, what were the circumstances, and would it be
possible for me to view the surveillance video myself for verification?
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Photo by Normal Bob
Remember that sweet and lovable Roc
Rockit from several pages back? Well, he sorta fell down some
stairs
after one of his performances at Cony Island, and he was carrying a
bowling ball when it happened, and,
well, he sorta knocked out all his front teeth, and the bowling ball
whacked him in the back of the head. But that hasn't slowed him down!
He's
still putting on shows like a man with a full set of choppers at Union
Square!
myspace.com/roc_it
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Photo by Normal Bob
Yes, it's Quarter Guy,
the
original Amazing Stranger! Sure enough, that's him with his face
painted green strollin' north on the east side of Union Square Park as
if he owns every quarter in all the pockets on the island of Manhattan!
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Can you imagine the day to day
life this guy is livin'?
Neither can I.
Neither. Can. I.
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Photo by Normal Bob
So this was a open and shut case
of a guy lookin' to make an insurance claim. The cab cut him off at the
light, he pushed up against it and fell backwards like a lame duck, and
now the world owes him eternal payback forever and ever.
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Photo by Normal Bob
The people standing around him are
saying things like, "You're not
hurt that bad. We saw you not get hit. Why don't you at least go over
to the sidewalk so you're not blocking traffic?"
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Photo by Normal Bob
And the whole time he just replied
back, "Fuck that! I'm not going
anywhere until
the police get here!!"
Oh, the ingenuity of New York junkie white trash.
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Video by Normal Bob
So this crazy Japanese girl always seems to get herself thrown out every time she comes into the coffee shop I go to (Alt Coffee). The first time I saw her get tossed out was when she was on her cell phone yelling at whatever unlucky son of a bitch was on the other end. The manager asked her to take it outside and she freaked out making a big scene, and she even had balls enough to come back in a few minutes later and do it all over again.
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Then I heard another time she wanted to recharge her computer but they don't allow you to plug in there, so she offered to "fuck" one of the employees if
they'd let her plug in. I think that was when she was officially banned from the place.
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So of course she comes back in, and when she's asked to leave she refuses, so this video is one of the employees physically having to throw her out.
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The best part is as she was
finally kicked out the door you get to hear her say "I'm not
giving you any tipping because you a bastard!"
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She came back 10 minutes
after this all went down and asked where the guy was who filmed
the "assault," (me).
I told them that if she comes back in again
looking for me to tell her I'll give her the video if she fucks me.
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© 2012 All photos and videos are property of NormalBobSmith.com
Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.
NORMAL BOB SMITH DESIGN NEW YORK
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