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Photo by Normal Bob

You know those German Dominatrixes who make our American Dominatrixes look like pansy Hindu Dominatrixes? Well, this was one of those! And when I went up and asked her if I could take her picture because I thought she looked fantastic, she looked at me like I was a fucking talking turd. She sighed as if she was tired of being so admired all the time, struck a pose (still without saying a word to me), then went back to just standing there, waving me away with the back of her hand. No kiddin'.


Now do you understand?



Photo by Normal Bob

Okay, so if that German Dominatrix to the left makes American Dominatrixes look like Hindu Dominatrixes, then I'm this guy approaching a German Dominatrix telling her how fantastic she looks and asking for her picture.


I wonder if this is what Puff Daddy had in mind when he  set forth to fashion Urban America in adult size pajamas?


Photo by Normal Bob

This girl really got under Skater Bob's skin. To me she's just another cute chick with a skateboard who was partially offended by my flier, but really couldn't express why.
But what Skater Bob thinks is...
"First of all, this cunt is a fucking poser that does not even know how to hold a skateboard. Just like everyone else that hopped on the band wagon she bought a skateboard and now she thinks she is down with skaters!! I give it 4 years! And every time she sees a skater she will say to them 'hey can i try your skateboard? I used to skate.' People like her have turned skateboarding into a pussy ESPN sport!"



Photo by Chris Thomas

My friend Chris who I haven't seen since my art school days in Colorado came to visit me in NYC. He's the friend I mentioned in my Love Diaries who I lost touch with because we both fell for the same girl Jennifer. That was the page he had stumbled across several months prior, which inspired him to make contact with me again, then come visit after almost 20 years.


So I brought him to Union Square to see the sites, and this is the picture he sent me from his visit there.



Photo by Normal Bob

Now I know it's been said before "He probably got complimented on this outfit once and now he never takes it off."
My question is, do you suppose he actually got complimented on this outfit once? If so, what were the circumstances, and would it be possible for me to view the surveillance video myself for verification?


Photo by Normal Bob

Remember that sweet and lovable Roc Rockit from several pages back? Well, he sorta fell down some stairs after one of his performances at Cony Island, and he was carrying a bowling ball when it happened, and, well, he sorta knocked out all his front teeth, and the bowling ball whacked him in the back of the head. But that hasn't slowed him down! He's still putting on shows like a man with a full set of choppers at Union Square!
myspace.com/roc_it


Photo by Normal Bob

Yes, it's Quarter Guy, the original Amazing Stranger! Sure enough, that's him with his face painted green strollin' north on the east side of Union Square Park as if he owns every quarter in all the pockets on the island of Manhattan!


Can you imagine the day to day life this guy is livin'? 
Neither can I.
Neither. Can. I.



Photo by Normal Bob

So this was a open and shut case of a guy lookin' to make an insurance claim. The cab cut him off at the light, he pushed up against it and fell backwards like a lame duck, and now the world owes him eternal payback forever and ever.


Photo by Normal Bob

The people standing around him are saying things like, "You're not hurt that bad. We saw you not get hit. Why don't you at least go over to the sidewalk so you're not blocking traffic?"


Photo by Normal Bob

And the whole time he just replied back, "Fuck that! I'm not going anywhere until the police get here!!"
Oh, the ingenuity of New York junkie white trash.


Video by Normal Bob

So this crazy Japanese girl always seems to get herself thrown out every time she comes into the coffee shop I go to (Alt Coffee). The first time I saw her get tossed out was when she was on her cell phone yelling at whatever unlucky son of a bitch was on the other end. The manager asked her to take it outside and she freaked out making a big scene, and she even had balls enough to come back in a few minutes later and do it all over again.


Then I heard another time she wanted to recharge her computer but they don't allow you to plug in there, so she offered to "fuck" one of the employees if they'd let her plug in. I think that was when she was officially banned from the place.


So of course she comes back in, and when she's asked to leave she refuses, so this video is one of the employees physically having to throw her out.


The best part is as she was finally kicked out the door you get to hear her say "I'm not giving you any tipping because you a bastard!"


She came back 10 minutes after this all went down and asked where the guy was who filmed the "assault," (me).
I told them that if she comes back in again looking for me to tell her I'll give her the video if she fucks me.

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© 2012 All photos and videos are property of NormalBobSmith.com
Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.
NORMAL BOB SMITH DESIGN NEW YORK


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