Over the past several years of Amazing Strangers I have attempted to verbally illustrate to you the details of each of the several groups which commune at Union Square South. The Gravers, Scenesters, Junkies have all had their dissection in full portrait. So now it is time for...

Authentic New York City skateboarder. Head to toe standards. See diagram above for details.

Hooray! Pink and fun raverness youth, young and chipper without a care in the world marchin' down the avenue in happy shoes a Rainbow Bright in the flesh! And it's never ever gonna go away, ever! Because.....

...You don't hafta lose any of the color after you go grey!

Well um, you kinda do, because no one's gonna love you as much when you get old, which makes your soul shrink up into a dry, ashy raison, and you can't tie yarn to an ashy raison. Go ahead and try. You'll lose. We all do.

Is this not just the cutest thing you've ever seen? Seriously, it's almost too adorable, like "Punky Brewster/Little Orphan Annie & Sandy" precious.

And you know how you're already thinkin' it couldn't get any more sweet and/or darling? What if I were to tell you that she is also homeless? See!? I did it! I made you coo.

I get a point.

All right, you got me. I've been caught, and she was being really cute when she caught me, but I was seriously just gonna say that this Scenette was so adorable, and sweet, and all that kind of stuff! And I was gonna talk about how the Scenester crowd has really thinned out since last I spoke, and how when it's just a couple of 'em hangin' out like this it's a lot easier on the eyes than when they're a pulsating mass, multiplying like a rancid rat's nest at the corner of the park.

I suppose I forfeit my point.

Hey! There's another new Peepers on the block and he's pickin' up right where Peepers Senior left off! And he's good.

He's an "Up-skirt Peepers" (which counters Peepers Sr "Down-shirt peeping") and he's got an eagle-eye for underpants! "PEEP PEEP PEEP" goes the Peepers!

Peep to the East
Peep to the West
Even Peepin' at the Scenette
Who was shakin' her fist

I know what you're thinkin'. You're sayin' to yourself: "Uh oh! Bob's gonna totally rip on this one, and once again I'm gonna hafta make up more excuses for how Bob can both say he loves all of mankind and at the same time trash some poor lady's outfit on laundry day," but think again, dear reader!

I'm not sure if it's just because I'm havin' such a great weekend, or perhaps it's because I haven't gotten any in a while, but whatever it is I give a "thumb's up" to this! It's exactly what I'd be doin' if I were her.

Seriously. If instead, she had on a pair of roller skates my adoration would be obvious. I'm just saying, there's a method to the madness.

So Skater Bob's skatin' at Union and he rolls past this family walkin' up Union Sq. East, and one of the kids in the family shouts shit at him, so Bob waves the middle finger at him, and the kid's mother flies into a rage, so Bob tells her to "take it to the hood," and she calls him a white devil, to which Bob gives her the tongue and...

You know what? I'll just let Skater Bob tell it.

What better way to end another happy page of Amazing Strangers than with a little girl on mega-stilts?