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pantless
Photo by Normal Bob

It's almost here! It's almost Springtime at Union Square! And nothing reminds me more of how much I can't wait for spring to get here than the first semi-warm day at Union Square when everyone's out with their spirits high, coats off, and pants down.

I wonder how you explain to your mom how gum got stuck to your underwear?
"I was sitting on the steps at Union Square with my pants pulled down?"
That sentence has been said to a parent, correct?
See, now that makes me smile.

god
Photo by Normal Bob

Even God came out to enjoy this beautiful day at the park.


You know what? This is who I wanna be when I get old. I wanna be God. I aspire to be God. I wanna replace God in His position as God. What harm is there in that? He'll be flattered, right? I don't see why not. Cool, it's settled then. I'm gonna be God.


I wonder what He'll do when He finds out? Good things I bet.

overcoats
Photo by Normal Bob

And never forget the out-of-town frat guys in their matching overcoats out pretending to be men on the first Spring-like day at the park. How do you suppose it all went down- each one of them acquiring an overcoat just like the other?

"Hey Bill, where'd you get that really regular looking black overcoat which appears to be made from a heavier stock of felt?"

"Good question Don! Would you believe I found this at H&M? And they had a TON of them! You should go there and get one too!"

"I like that coat as well! You look like the MAN!"

"Neato! I'm THE MAN!"

"Me too! I'm THE MAN too!!"

"We're THE MAN!!"

"Yeah, we're THE MAN!!"

"THE MAN! THE MAN!"

...And so forth.

hotjunky
Photo by Normal Bob

Remember that cutie who was eating that hamburger out of the trashcan at Union Square a few years ago ('05)? Well, even she came out on this beautiful Springish occasion to lean up against the TCC phone on St Marks and take junkie nod nap.

I wonder who she's dreaming of? I can only suppose it's of me, because it's almost Spring!

urbaneskimo
Photo by Normal Bob

One of the best indications of how on the verge of Spring Union Square is, yet still winter, almost exactly in the middle of both, is to examine how the park honeys are dressing themselves.

For example, this one's a Native American Eskimo on the top half, while her bottom half is Newwave 80's Rollergirl, which translates into one warm and juicy Spring to come at the bottem-end of a brisk barelegged March.

eurojj
Photo by Bobby J.

There's nothing wrong with a douchebag or two. I can deal with that, for Spring's sake. It's a small price to pay, a douchebag. I can handle one or two this Spring. No more than that though. Anymore than one or two and I might have to cancel it. Cancel Spring, that is. Because no good can come from any more douchebags like this. None.

None.

streetfighter
Video by Normal Bob CAUTION

The Street-fighter of Union Square has reclaimed his post by resuming his fight with the street.

And in part 2 of this clip he stands up to a graver who dared pet his dog. Clearly not a man to be reckoned with.


Video by Normal Bob

The Tourettes Runningman of NYC.

I've missed out on filming this guy on easily more than 20 occasions for obvious reasons. I only got a few of his yells, but even in just 15 seconds of footage he shows that he too isn't someone to be reckoned with.

sprinkjunky
Video by Normal Bob

So even though Spring has yet to begin at Union Square, the first 50 degree day brought the "Springtime Junky" out of his hole, and as everyone knows, if he sees his shadow it means another 2 weeks of of heavy dope shooting with a dirty needle into thick scar tissue.

It means the same thing even if he doesn't see his shadow, but you just go through the motions anyhow... for tradition's sake.

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Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.
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