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Photo by Normal Bob
I'm not sure how things are out there wherever you're at, but over here this shit's for real.

Highrise Daisy Don'ts

Photo by Normal Bob

The other day my girlfriend asked me "just how short do girls in the city wear their short shorts?" so she could better understand what would be considered appropriate by our standards.

I took this picture for her.

Adult Baby

Photo by Normal Bob
After I took this picture I ran up and asked him what the hell he was all dressed up like a baby for, and he said he'd lost a bet. He explained how he got drunk on two Coors Lites then his buddy dared him to touch his tongue to the wiener of his Saint Bernard. So after he did it (because neither of them ever back down from dares) his buddy told him he had his fingers crossed the whole time so the dare didn't count. Anyhow, the humiliation for licking the dog weeny was walking the length of Manhattan dressed as a baby, or something.
Shawn the Christian

Videos by Normal Bob
This is Shawn, and I have to give Shawn credit. Shawn is willing to stare straight down the throat of evil while its fiery breath scorches his face. In this first video Shawn took on what seemed to be an unending onslaught of detractors. Drunks, vandals, bleeding hearts, comedians and hecklers. I think it shows just how serious many New Yorkers are about not believing

In this second video my girlfriend asks Shawn about his stance on hermaphrodites and who they're allowed to marry according to the Bible. Shawn explains: God creates disastrous people like the disfigured, homosexuals & hermaphrodites by conquering their abomination thus serving God with an even brighter, more triumphant glory!

It's a beautiful God we're talking about (forgiveness, grace, mercy, love) who creates you as a disaster then make you overcome it to keep from ending up in hell. Perfect sense.

Peacocking Graver

Video by Normal Bob

This video needs little introduction other than: A Union Square Graver peacocking to Hanson's "Weird."

One person I showed this video to summed it up wonderfully in one word...

Photo by Bobby J
When this picture was taken, I swear I almost ran out of the park when that thing unraveled from his mouth. It was like a magnificant tapeworm being set loose to consume the garbage of Union Square. Thankfully though it retracted back into his mouth afterwards.
Hatin' Black Israelites
Video & heckling by Normal Bob

So YouTube has been deleting videos I've posted of the Black Israelites and putting my account under 6 month surveillance, so I'm starting to post them elsewhere. And yes, that's me heckling: "WHITE MAN IS THE DEVIL! REPEAT THE MISTAKES OF THE KKK!"

I don't know what got into me. I think I just wanted to see their reaction, and it was pretty funny. Especially when he starts yelling at me "YOU CAN'T PAY YOR BILLS! YOUR WIFE'S BEEN CHEATIN' ON YOU! A LOT OF YOU ARE LESBIANS AND FAGGOTS!" And after each time you hear me calmly stating, "I actually can pay my bills. I don't have a wife. I'm straight actually."

And do you recognize that fantastic gay guy shouting at them off to the right? It's the "Union Sq Beach Bum" on the previous page from my neighborhood! I told you he's amazing.

Bird-shaped Head

Photo by Normal Bob
Tell me it's not just me, but he has a bird-shaped head, right? I mean, we sorta all do if you look at this picture long enough, but seriously! It's for real and not just my imagination. I know it.

Photo by Normal Bob

All right, and these are Mormons. And Mormons believe that Jesus came to Missouri after his Jerusalem ordeal and Joseph Smith had a new Bible which he read out of a hat with a decoder ring and it told how Native Americans were originally white until God cursed them and made them red and, and, and...

Jesus Christ. Let's just get to the last cage of morons and be done with this already.

Street Performers & a Drunk

Video by Normal Bob

You hang out at Union then put together enough of these pics and videos, after a while you start to realize we're all just a bunch of goddamned retards. We're as stupid as we ever were and in some cases more so. We worship the wizards we imagine in the sky, dance around like drunk monkeys trying to impress all the other retards with our glorious turkey trotting.

The Shaggs put it best when they sang, "The taw peepoes want wot the showt peepoes got, and the showt peepoes want wat dah taw peepoes got. The littow kids want wat the big kids got, and the big kids want wat the littow kids got."

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© 2011 All photos and videos are property of
Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.

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