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Spring has hit, and hit HARD!

Are you Spring or Anti-spring? I've started my own list of Strangers for you to measure yourself against.

FEATURED VIDEO
As for the video to the right, Skater Bob grabbed my camera, skated away and handed it back to me 5 minutes later with what you see here. Judge for yourself, because you're guess is as good as mine.

FEATURED VIDEO

ManChild
manchild

Photo by Normal Bob

Spring!

Yeah, I'm sorry to tell you, Kris Kringle Boy-lover is indeed "Spring."

I never said you were gonna like it, or you had to snuggle with it on a park bench. I'm just sayin' "You know it's Spring when..."

And you definitely know it's spring when middle age "Where's Waldo" polishes his dentures and pulls out the quarter grand Hip Hop Bugle Boys.

Shirtless Old Man

Photo by Normal Bob

Anti-spring

Nothing is more Anti-spring than a shirtless old man who's found an extremely effective way to complain without having to say a word.

Scene Kids
inna & gayday
Photo by Normal Bob

Spring!

Yes, Scene is Spring! Don't wanna believe it? You tell me what screams Spring louder than brightly colored, shoplifted outfits on haughty white kids in the sun?

Gay Grunge
gay grunge

Photo by Normal Bob

Spring

Again, I'M SORRY! I didn't say this would be easy, but yes, Spring is most definitely Gay California Grunge.

It may fill your heart with hate, or an illustration of why Kurt Cobain blew his brains out, but colorful homemade patchwork overalls on a West Coast hippy plopped down in an East Coast city is one of the unpleasant, but necessary farts of Spring.

The Shirtless Graver
shirtlessgraver
Photo by Normal Bob

Anti-spring

The mascot of Anti-spring for me has always been the Shirtless Graver. In fact, I still remember when the Shirtless Graver canceled spring 2 years ago with his Anti-spring raindance, not to mention the many Springs he's yet to cancel with his anti-shirt speeches and refusal to succumb to the shirt tyranny that enslaves the rest of us.

No joke. There's an actual speech, and it actually cancels Springtime.

Shirtless Warrior

Photo by Normal Bob

Anti-spring

PEOPLE! Shirtlessness DOES NOT equal Spring!

Another victim of the Shirtless Graver's manifesto.

Daisy

Photo by Normal Bob

Spring

Daisy, with his picnics, and his gay pride parade float baby carraiges is what Springtime's all about. And no one tools the Black Israelites more efficiently than he.

Nano Tech
anti spring
Photo by Normal Bob

Anti-spring

There is nothing more Anti-spring than the hell-bent street preacher in sweatpants, velcro shoes and a black Hawaiian shirt buttoned all the way to the top button, with his Bible & his Union Square luggage.

We all know these are both your street clothes and your pajamas. Little do you know you shout this louder than scripture.

Wendel the Garbageman

Video by Normal Bob

Spring or Anti-spring?

And Spring has returned when Wendel is out irritating everyone at the park, but Wendel also takes shits in grabage cans then tries to touch your face while you're eating lunch at the park. It's a puzzle.

He's Spring because he's always colorful and dancing all around, but he's Anti-spring because he wears and eats actual poopy garbage, which isn't Spring-like at all!

But this year Wendel has outdone himself.


Photo by Normal Bob

Okay Wendel, we concede. You're the King of Spring and we bow to your greatness. Now go use up a few bars of soap.


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Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.
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