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So just the tiniest little Labor Day vacation away from the Square is all it takes to make me fantasize and gush over the Amazing Strangers I've been storing up for the last couple weeks.

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To the left is an old favorite, Union Square's Sloppo. A local glue-sniffing acne-pelted hanger-on who'll every so often put on one of the best one-man shows Union has to offer absolutely free! A street performing purest of the rarest breed.

Read another of Sloppo's adventures from years past here.

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The Nest

Photo by Normal Bob

There's nothing like having your very own nest! There have been those who've made their nest out of an old laundry cart, or again with an old laundry cart, others who've made one of stacks of garbage bags, or whatever!

Today it's a shopping cart, and today this man is king of nests.

Dreadhawk

Photo by Normal Bob

Dreadhawk.
Krusty Twink

Photo by Normal Bob

Yes, you asked if it was possible, and no place else but Union Square could deliver. Step right up! See the living Krusty Twink! Here and no where else!

Who needs Coney Island? I wonder if I could get a job as a carnival barker for the park? I'm realizing now it could use one.

Green Raver

Photo by Normal Bob

There are several different variants of out-of-towners that're spottable from a distance in NYC. Some, like the group to your right, are the common ones that locals purposely give incorrect directions to and mock loudly as they ride by on tour buses , or try to refold a map.

But the above out-of-towner takes a bit more of a trained eye to peg him either as a Long Islander, or Russian.

Anyhow, my friends and I like to bet a dollar on where they're from then go up an ask. This one was from Russia. I lost that dollar.

It's so hard to tell sometimes!

Tourists

Photo by Normal Bob

Am I the only one who gets off on tourists? I mean, are we all supposed to just buy into the old men parading around in clown suits while they're being chastised by their wives? Are we not supposed to notice the mistakes they've made of their lives that they flaunt like poo-dipped trophies?

Appreciating tourists is one of the greatest ways to brighten a day you woke up to feeling glum. Seriously, imagine their voices crowing while they try to figure out which way's north. It's the city's bird-chirping.

Union Scrubber

Photos by Normal Bob

Lately, in an attempt to clean up public parks the city's been employing homeless minorities to scrub, as well ass measure the scum and filth on the square's floor.

It's been an extremely effective plan at both cleaning up the park, helping the homeless get back on their feet, and establishing the level of pollution that collects beneath our feet for environment's sake, all at very little cost to the public, except for their being a tiny bit of an eyesore.

Rumplestarbucks

Photo by Normal Bob

Three grande coffees, a grande hot tea, one iced venti mocha, an iced coffee, a San Pelligrino, and a grande water and this is as much conversation as you're ever going to get out of him.
Junky the Barbarian

Photo by Normal Bob

I've been told that somewhere on the Internet is a Junky the Barbarian Tracker following his every move around the city and the assortment of lady-junkies he's impregnated.

I've not seen this tracker site, but if it exists I want to know. Until then, that tracker'll be me.

Fun Fact! Junky the Barbarian has a pee-wee voice. I'm doing my best to get it on tape, but you really gotta get close to hear it, and he's scary!

See the tracker site: Find Heman

Wendel

Photos by Normal Bob

This is Wendel, and you know you've found a home & family at the park if Wendel lets you take his photo for free, which is exactly what he did here, and here...
In return, when I see someone taking his picture without his permission I point and scream out, "Hey Wendel, that guy's taking your picture!" and he makes it worth my while. Try it yourself, and have your camera ready!

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Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.
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