Amazing Strangers has a new inbred cousin, born just a few days ago, and we've all decided to name it Find Jesus at Union Square! And if you haven't seen him, he's just the cutest li'l thing, despite being born with junk in its system, some bad fashion decisions, a peeping habit and a bit OCD about the conspiracy theories. But he's everything you could ever want if you're a fan of the kin who conceived him.
As for the FEATURED VIDEO,
the Hasids are no strangers to the Square as of late, and this is what happens if you hand one of them a GOD IS FAKE flyer while they're trying to unify the world under God's One True Religion - Judaism, of course.
Fifty -The New Ten
Photo by Normal Bob
See, I understand what people mean when they proclaim "30's the new 20!" I get it. In fact, I even get the bold: "40's the new 20!"
But seriously, has 50 become the new 10?
Around Union Square it quite regularly appears to be so.
Venue/Holster Lady Video by Normal Bob
This is quite simply a park regular asking me the meaning of the words "hoster" and "venue." I do the best I can with what I had to work with, but I couldn't help but feel as if I wasn't good enough as she politely turned her back on me and walked away.
Photo by Normal Bob
When this one sat down, I looked around for the available Peepers. Within seconds each of them were being helplessly pulled to her gravitational pull, their feet dragging across the top of the tiled floor of the square.
Then just seconds before the first one reached touchdown in front of her, she closed the gateway, defusing her tractor beam, stood up and jogged away at warp speed.
That day panties scored one, and the peepers lost in an upset.
Daddy Long-leg Photo by stranger sitting next to me
So I'm sitting at my usual spot on the steps the other day when I see walking towards me this woman with with a giant mole on her cheek. Terror ran through me because nothing creeps me out more than giant moles on people's faces (cheeks, lips and eyelids especially), and every time they sit next to me!
But then, horror of all horrors, not only does she sit next to me, but in the motion of her turning and placing herself there her passing leandown puts that thing within 6 inches of my nose and I see tiny, bristling hairs sprouting out from it like so many spider legs. At least a baker's dozen, and I swear I even caught a glimpse of an eye on it looking right back at me! I was petrified.
I immediately turned my back on her daddy long-leg, because I was hoping to sleep soundly this week. Then I forced the girl sitting next to me to take my camera and photograph it over my shoulder for a government file of some sort, or wherever they keep their alien sightings documents.
I swear, often times beautiful things happen here at this park. But this was not one.
Graver Not Dead! Photo by Normal Bob
Rumor around the park has been that Graver is dead, and I am perhaps one of the last hangers-on proclaiming THEY ARE NOT!
Sure I have a lot invested in their continued existence, but my interest goes beyond the profits I make at their expense. They are Union mascots! The quintessential bad-idea made all cute and funny so you've got something to put a smile back on your face after so many nodding junkards, peepers, and cheek deformities.
They LIVE, and this I will desperately attempt to present evidence for in the weeks and months to come.
GRAVER NOT DEAD! Photo by Normal Bob
See, I think that a gasmask makes up for at least two gravers at the park, which means there were at least three here that day! Remember back in the day when there were gravers all over the place and there was that one with the gasmask?
Those were the days. That's when Graver actually meant something.
"GRAVER NOT DEAD! GRAVER NOT DEAD! GRAVER NOT DEAD!"
C'mon, help me out. Am I alone out here? Where's everybody going?
Wolverscene Photo by Normal Bob
Sometimes the title is all that needs to be said.
The Original Wolverscene Video by Normal Bob
Of course, everyone knows the original Wolverscene is Rambling Bill, the conspirisist Communist Madman who's been haunting that spot at Union Square for roughly 40 years. No kidding.
Menopausal Woman performs at Union Square with compliant hubby on Congo Video by Normal Bob
After each performance her hubby would clap his hands and shout at the crowd "C'mon! At least clap! Givera hand! C'mon, can I hear at least one person clap!?"
Then one person would, and he would make it into way more than it was.