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It was bound to happen. My YouTube account's frozen due to too many "community complaints" and rules that the people I'm filming at Union don't seem to give a shit about. The last straw this time was this vid of a bum throwing porn all over the park, and my camera picking up the page images. Go figure. So for the time being I've opened up a new account to cover the gap.

Today's FEATURED VIDEO is the second upload to the new account, and I can't help but laugh when I watch it again and again and again. I realize it might be too long for some of you to sit though, but personally, I enjoy laughing that long!

FEATURED VIDEO

Hater of all Sharks

Video by Normal Bob

Hate sharks? You are not alone.
Angelica

Photo by Normal Bob

When deadbeats like the Sit-on-my-face guy, Cockroach, Graver ArEz or Casper ask me "How is it that you're always surrounded by hot girls?" I come to realize how it's all just luck of the draw. Nothing we say or do, or the decisions in between have any effect one way or the other on such fortune. We are all of the same mold, yet while I am lucky enough to have girls who choose to sit with me, the man with the "Free Massages" sign and a bottle of baby oil stands alone.

I am always left speechless, yet thankful, and once again in awe at the unique wonder of life and chance.

Shaggy & Itchy

Photo by Normal Bob

Meet Shaggy and Itchy-balls.
One of them is high as a fuckin' kite on dope riding a wave of pleasure comparable to 1,000 orgasms bursting out the head of a single penis, while the other is only pretending.

Can you guess which one's on a fantastical joyride atop lily white angel wings through the oceans of paradise?

Here's a hint: The" All pleasures of the world in a needle" guy can't lift lightweight objects, including his own arms & legs.

OCD BBB

Photos by Normal Bob

Imagine if you will being both OCD and the Belly Button Bum. A neat freak, but also destined to a life of garbage. This is what the OCD BBB finds himself up against, and exactly the reason for his frequent daily costume changes.


These three different outfits are each just a couple hours apart. Notice each one includes a different pair of shoes, head gear, and socks even! I can't do that in one day. Can you? Of course not, because you're not the OCD BBB.
Chocolate Pizza

Photo by Normal Bob

There's this tourist hotspot right off Broadway & 14th called Max Brenner's Chocolate Pancake House (or some shit) whose menu consists of 5 course meals entirely made of chocolate!

Two Japanese girls, giddy with excitement, sat next to me with a Max B's chocolate pizza on a cookie crust & marshmallow toppings. Oh, how they giggled with delight over it!

Together they took about 2 bites each from the featured piece, then sat there for another 20 minutes doing everything they could to avoid having more. They soon put it back into the box and dumped it in the trash without giving it any further eye contact, and the smiles were but a lost memory.

Minutes later a bum reached in, pulled out that very same box, took a bite, grimaced, and put it back in the garbage where it belonged.

$14.50

Hat in the Cat

Video & photo by Normal Bob

A lot of you people don't understand how important "Hat in the Cat" is, how long he's been around, and how committed he actually is to this dramatization of the classic storybook character.


My first sighting of him was back in like 2005 riding his bicycle through the park. He was only halfway there at this point.

Then I was delighted to get '09 off to a spectacular start with the "Pray for Satan Stomp!"

Now, here he is again, sick of the interruptions, while he raps his trademark "Hat in the Cat" song.

If you ever run into Hat in the Cat, have a couple GOD IS FAKE fliers on hand. He loves to squash 'em!

GGG

Photo by Normal Bob

Another shout-out to someone keeping the graver dream alive.
Rat as a Hat

Photo by Normal Bob

Now that "Cat on the Hat" isn't coming around to Union anymore "Rat as a Hat" has felt safe to return. None of which has anything to do with "Hat in the Cat" (above, and to the right), just to be clear.

Name Droppin' Gary

Video by Normal Bob

There's a standard handshake code here at Union Square. People you know, who generally wash their hands regularly, they get the standard hand-grasp handshake greeting. While bums, junkies and dog molesters with their jagged, razor-sharp fingernails, blood encrusted knuckles and limited access to kleenex or toilet paper get "the pound" (a quick knocking of fists).

Gary here is one of the bottom 2% who you can't even give a pound to, and these are some of his stories...


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© 2012 All photos and videos are property of NormalBobSmith.com
Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.
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