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For all of you who've been complaining about the lack of updates, the reason is blunt and unforgiving.
Welcome to the Union Square Christmas Mall, here 'til the first day of 2012! Today's FEATURED VIDEO is homage to an immortal park icon. Inspired by the song that was emailed to me by Satan's Balls. I love this song. Almost as much as I love Inna.

FEATURED VIDEO

[Or see the slightly less offensive, censored version on YouTube]

After the Raid

Video by Normal Bob

Sorry folks. Zuccotti Park is no longer a Occupy hotspot. The city's successfully cracked the code for eliminating pesky protesters, and pesky parks for that matter!

It's really quite easy. Simply cage off the park allowing for only two small entrances on opposite ends. Block the entrances with security guards whom have to be pushed through to enter. Then patrol the park interior with even more security guards looking for anyone trying to lie down, sneak food, or gather in groups greater than two.

Greg does not Impress

Video by Normal Bob

I already said what I was going to do this winter, after Union's abandoned and the cold's destroyed everything filmable. Re-upload everything I lost during the last YouTube account termination. In doing so I've been stumbling across many things that've never made it to the pages of Amazing Strangers before! Moments that years later entertain me much more than they did back then.

Greggy here, trying to impress this cute girl with his awesome ollie over the rail, an ollie that inspired not even a smile, was one such moment.

Capt. Ray Lewis

Video by Normal Bob

I miss Capt. Ray, and Occupy, and Tent City. I had such magnificent plans to carry me through winter here filming history being made at Zuccotti.

I've been assured that come Spring, it'll all be back and bigger than ever, and I'm clinging to that hope. But I'm also hyper aware of how necessary consistent momentum is essential for something like this. Four months is a long time.

We'll see. I'm here raring to go whenever and wherever. Just tell me where to go! I am your lap dog.

Restaurant on the Moon

Video by Normal Bob

Want to know what's fun? If you're hanging out with friends and you see this guy approaching in the distance, interrupt whatever conversation's going on with, "Hey guys! You ever heard of the restaurant on the moon?"
Then when everyone gives you that stunned look, youfollow with "Great food, but no atmospheeeere!" And continue on with the convo as if nothing happened.

Then when he comes up to your group and says "Hey, You guys ever heard of the restaurant on the moon?" Your friends will be bedazzled and girl will want to have sex with you.

Banishing Street Preacher FAIL

Video by Normal Bob

The week of July 4th, 2010 was the week the street preacher brigade descended upon the park in record numbers. There was a moment in time when there were literally six different preachers at once strategically positioned at six different hot spots at Union Square South. Se diagram.


After a couple days of this and we all started to lose it. Thus the reactions I videotaped above.
More Street Preachers
Video by Normal Bob

This is when I reached my breaking point and started mindlessly screaming "BABY KILLER" at them. A line I picked up from Union Sq's Dennis the Menace. This is just a short clip. My camera was turned off while I shouted it like this at least another 20 times. Enough for me to lose my voice for the following couple of days.

Later, when one of them sat down with me and asked why I was yelling that, I responded "If you're going to yell crazy shit t me, expect me to yell crazy shit back at you.

As nuts as it all seems, it's actually quite logical. I strongly recommend this line of defense.

Cockblocking Arez

Video by Normal Bob

Arez has a reputation for very aggressively trying to pick up hard on girls under the age of 18 who're often under the influence of alcohol, or whatever else.

The reason this actual moment took place was because just a week or so prior, this girl we all know of stumbled into the park excessively trashed (the same girl who threw the Fart Smeller out of the park that day), and Arez was all over her. He was desperately trying to "walk her to the train" or carry her away, or what-the-fuck-ever.

We all made a big scene of it while it was happening so he knew we were watching. And since then this has been the sort of welcome he's been getting at Union.

Badgering a Drunk

Video by Normal Bob

A group of us were sitting at Union, as usual, talking amongst ourselves when this guy came and sat within our cluster, on my friend's feet.

We looked at each other, then at him, and continued on with our conversation like this is a normal occurance at Union, which it kind of is. Then he turned and asked us to be quiet because he couldn't hear the guy who was speaking.

That's when I turned my camera on and fell helplessly into badgering mode.

Girlfriend Carrier

Video by Normal Bob
He never made it to any sort of riding action while she was on his back like this. Still, I shouldn't have stopped filming. I'm learning though.

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© 2012 All photos and videos are property of NormalBobSmith.com
Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.
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