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It's taken some time for Union to get back in the swing of things. The weather's been rainy, and there's been so many changes in park regulars, we're only now getting adjusted.
Today's FEATURED VIDEO is a Father's Day Weekend surprise no one was expecting!

Let me start by apologizing for helping spread the rumor this person had died. I'm learning my lesson about gossipy death notices, and I only hope this applies to Dusty too.

I don't want to immediately give away who's back from the dead, but the noticeable void has been refilled, and the park is back to normal. God help us.

FEATURED VIDEO

Back at it

Video by Normal Bob


With Signs back, we're all painfully reminded what it's like to have him alive again.

This year Roman formed "Team Analingus," which at present consists mainly of his bodyguard, Jenkos (the guy on the steps wearing white), and one or two other dudes.

This, shockingly, is one of his more instigating movements, and this week it may have gotten him a little more attention than he was hoping for.

Russian Chic

Photo by Normal Bob


Somewhere far away, there's a little Russian village tucked away from the rest of civilization. There, Duran Duran is top ten, and the women dress special, like mermaid, when to come by New York City to meet rich American white man.

The women have purses size of saddlebags, heavy and black, they wear aqua and yellow with matching shoes & makeup like they do on The Simpsons, and they do not need anyone to tell them they are magnificent. They already know this.

This place is Brighton Beach.

Jeremy & Free Hugs Nazi

Video by Normal Bob


The Free Hugs Nazi runs the Free Hugs movement at Union Square, and Rubs isn’t one of his employees. Free Hugs Nazi sells shirts, buttons, and teas (yes, a Free Hugs tea) and other Free Hugs products, as well as renting out signs to kids. In short the Free Hugs Nazi takes the whole Free Hugs movement very, very seriously. It’s his business (Light Source Inc.).

Jeremy however does more totally free hugging at the park in one day than the Nazi and all of his flunkies combined do annually! Which is why he falls squarely under the Nazi’s radar. And ever since Jeremy got in the New York Times for throwing a can at a girl who refused his hug, the Nazi has taken more aggressive steps to de-sign Jeremy.



Video by Normal Bob
Of course Jeremy has his own history of rubbing up on girls, but he’s a good kid, dealing with Autism.
The video at top is of the Free Hugs Nazi intimidating Jeremy. It was my pleasure to present Jeremy with an Official Light Source trademarked Free Hugs sign of his very own.
Shaggy Snitch

Video by Normal Bob


Ever since Shaggy's park ranger buddy gave him his phone number, Shaggy's been telling on everybody! And nowhere has anyone been more annoyed by all this than in the YouTube comments section!

Video by Normal Bob

YouTubers have been all up in caps threatening to catch a flight to NYC just to smash Shaggy's phone! And to top it off, others seems to think because the promise has been written in a comment, a true possibility that it'll actually happen is really real!

People, we've had the Internet now for, going on 20 years. You should all know better. And then you can't be butt-hurt when you're told that your comments aren't all that respected by people like me.
Jesus, I thought this was common knowledge. There's even a term for it. Say it with me now – "Internet - Tough - Guy."

I get it that the first 10 times you see them, Internet threats can seem scary-true, but really people. I've got 500+ pages of hate mail I've been collecting for over 13 years, and do you know how many of those threats actually came true?

You got it. Zero.
All except for the "burn in hell" promise.

If you care to read some of the serious critique of what I'm doing at Union, and with my life in general, check out this page of hate mail.

Wendell's Girl

Photos by Normal Bob


Let me assure you, lest there be any doubt, Wendell smells. If you're thinking, "Oh no, on this day Wendell probably did not smell so bad, since it only hit 80 degrees, yet he's dressed like it's 35."

Perhaps there's a chance that despite his homelessness and soaplessness, his love for fabric is displayed in the care and loving touch he provides each and every sewn inch?

Perhaps these pieces are taken care of rightfully, not wrongfully - stuffed into a public garbage can repeatedly, throughout the day, because he thinks it gives them a unique urban flavor?



Video by Normal Bob
And perhaps you thought you raised your daughter well? Smart enough to have a sense of right and wrong. You hoped that you showed her how to politely say "No" to things she does not want to participate in, and be thoughtful in these actions each day?

And maybe you might have wished after several minutes, when she couldn't breath any longer, in a panic, removed herself from the garment, that she did not retain any of the aforementioned odor and living cells and take it all home with her that evening?

Perhaps this is all you wanted for her, and all this did not come to be.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Clark Griswolds

Photos by Normal Bob


I've never understood the draw grown men have for the Clark Griswold.

In the past I've likened them to clowns, no longer respected by their wives, who dress them as such. Wives whom they have turned into moms, allowing them pick out their clothes and dress them like every day is their first day of 5th grade.


I understand this is the normal American man, and that it is actually I who is the weirdo in their midst.

I am the one, not they, who is looked at strangely in Idaho, and Denver, and New England, and Arizona.

It is this that the women swoon, and scramble to catch, and wed, and share in the making of babies.

These are the men they want them to be, perfectly. And all of this is what I do not understand, while I remain single, and they lean there waiting for something to happen.

Not Heartstopper?

Photo by Normal Bob


I honestly thought this was the Heartstopper.

We've been calling him Heartstopper for a couple years now, since we thought he was the guy who body-dropped his dad.

Shaggy actually yells out "HEART-STOPPER!" everytime we see him! He seems to like it.

But now that I look at the video next to the photo, I'm realizing that I've been completely wrong! This isn't the Heartstopper! Which, in turn, I think makes me racist?

This is so embarrassing.

Gay Pride for Turkey

Video by Normal Bob


Again & again Gay Pride tries to help out the various performers and demonstrations at the park, and again & again he is completely misunderstood.

This week it was the demonstrators for Turkey that Pride was rooting for, and once again his all his efforts go unappreciated.

His real name is Qween Amour, but we call him Gay Pride because he's all over the place trying to raise awareness of how inextinguishably flaming gay he is. And I couldn't be happier that he found a home at the Square.

ZUMIEZ!

Video by Normal Bob


"ZUUUMIEZZZZ! ALL DAY, ALL NIGHT! SKATE NYC.... GET THE FUG OUTTA HEEEER!!!!

Stop by your local Zumiez and share with them what you've learned today.


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© 2013 All photos and videos are property of NormalBobSmith.com
Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.
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