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<< PAST | NEXT >>
Fundies
| Yesterday,
Sunday the 16th the Christians returned to Union Square
and set up shop. It was the same Canadian youth leader
as last time (with Canadian Jason) but a whole new crop
of high schoolers. |
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This time
the majority of them were Oklahoman Christians mixed
in with the Canadian Christians. It's a very potent
mix.
And this
time they had a booth! And they had dancers and performers,
free bibles, missionaries and everything! It didn't
take long for them to get noticed and immediately kids
from Union started handing out my GOD-IS-FAKEs & Jesus
Dress Up flyers to everyone involved.
And of course
it didn't take long after that for them to find the
source of the blasphemous propaganda and head straight
towards me with their merciful mission in hand. |
I finally
feel that I'm to the point where I'm prepared for all
the questions, arguments, tactics and inquiries. I can
thank years of hate mail for getting me prepared. They
came at me with statements like:
*
But if there's no God then where does right and wrong
come from?
*
What about people who don't get caught for their crimes?
Where is their justice?
*
What's our purpose then?
*
But people will fail you! |
 |
 |
You'd
think that the Canadian youth pastor from last
time would have coached these youngsters better
for this second time around, but they didn't have
a clue.
Somehow
thinking that because life wouldn't be fair without
God proves to them His existence. Those are of
course very naive reasons to believe, but that's
the reasoning you're dealing with at this age. |
Speaking
of naivety, there was this redhead who did the most
outrageous sing-along performance piece you could have
ever imagined! She did a lip-sync to gospel music that
was being played on a loud speaker. She was flailing
around, dancing and waving here arms over her head with
the craziest grin on her face.
She was so
ecstatic about the awesomeness of her God she couldn't
even contain herself. While I spoke with the highschoolers
gathered around me I pointed to her and said, "Do
you think she looks sane?" And as hard as they tried
the delirious kids couldn't give me a reply. They were
clearly without explanation, for both her and their
association with her. It was a treat to behold. |
 |
| Her
dance went on for a while and I wouldn't let the kids
I was with off the hook. I kept saying, "Look at her.
You've gotta see how crazy you guys look when you bring
something like that to New York City." And "Tell
me she doesn't look like she's straight out of a mental
ward." |
But there's
no real victory in stumping these Oklahomans. I relish
only in the knowledge that they've been thoroughly confused
and maybe they're going home with something more to
think about. It was a little disappointing to see them
so completely stumped by some of my most basic retorts,
like:
* Do you
think dinosaurs existed? How did they fit in with Adam
& Eve?
* Do you
think there were really giants, like David & Goliath?
Then why haven't we ever dug up a giant's skeleton? |

The
Student, Canadian Youth Pastor & Me |
The kids
were dumbfounded. They didn't have a clue. It was a
horrible reminder how weak the human brain can be at
times.
There was
a time even when I was surrounded by at least 10 of
these students, who were all very inquisative, listening
and asking questions, trying to soak in all of these
new ideas that have never even crossed their minds before.
It seemed that they couldn't get enough of me.
Finally, after
several hours (you can see the duration of time by the
amount of sunlight in the pictures) it was time for me
and Skater Bob to leave. I left leaving them with the
statement: "There's nothing you can say that wouldn't
also defend any other religious cult out there." And we walked away leaving their longing puppy-eyed faces
to vanish in the Union Square night fall.. |
|
The
Floridian Pantomime Christian Brigade Performers at Union Square North... LIVE!
Photos
by Normal Bob Smith

A
believer tries not to be lured away from her Bible by
her peers who pressure her into a world of sin, while
a Yankees fan watches intently. |

So my
friend Sarah and I are strolling through Union Square
when, wouldn't you know it, we happen across a group
from Florida putting on a show for the people of
New York City.
So my
friend Sarah and I are strolling through Union Square
when, wouldn't you know it, we happen across a group
from Florida putting on a show for the people of
New York City.
Sarah
and I immediately planted our asses on a bench to
soak in this wonderfully overacted performance. |
|

In this
scene the Christian weeps while those around her
dramatically bow their heads for effect, and that
one kid in the background who's in charge of the
boombox scopes out some sweet ass in the audience.
Don't
let anybody ever tell you that Religious Floridians
don't know how to perform interpretive dance reenactments
of popular Bible stories, because I seen it and
they sure as fuck do! |
|

And
parents, don't worry. I've been assured that those
who are Christians and trying to deliver their message
of Good News through interpretive dance are not
part of a cult! In fact, it's very very different
than a cult. Like polar opposites!
This
picture here doesn't help my argument much but I
promise you that the toe-heads worshipping this
God are totally different than those people who
worship other gods. |
|

Sure
there were neigh-sayers in the crowd who giggled
and snickered at the southern teens and their message
of hope, but that's okay because they'll pay forever
in hell. Sorry. Not. |
Here
a Christian is lured into the world of pot smoking.
The girl on the left takes a drag from her "joint"
while the others laugh gaily. Tell me these aren't
the exact same kids from Hell House. |
|

But
easily, the most dramatic part of the show was the
crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Their youth leader
got to play both Jesus and Satan (the difference
was Satan wears shades and a baseball cap turned
backwards). And see the cross? That's an actor!
No kidding. |
Here
Satan makes people fight each other, and commands
a great many other sins from the sidelines of life. |
|

All
of the popular sins embraced the victim and engulfed
him into a world of filth. I was pleased to see
that one of the cuter girls got to play the role
of Pornography. Good call. |
You
can download a video of the sins of man pushing
their victim to his breaking point here. |
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(C) 2008 All pictures featured here are my property because they were taken by me & my friends with my camera, so they're all mine!
NORMAL BOB SMITH DESIGN NEW YORK
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