There's just nothin' worse than havin' to see all these people around who've got everything. One thing is fine, but two things? That's one too many for me! I feel much better now.

Listen. Being a dad ain't easy. You gotta constantly be aware of the baby's needs. If its cryin' you'll shove anything in its face just so it'll shut up, and you always need to have your desk chair close at hand. Then before you know it you've gone through like 8 cans of soda, you've pissed your overalls, and the baby's finally shut up, but only after it's completely buried in whatever junk it was cryin' for.

When does that give you time to sleep? Yeah. So shut the fuck up.

This is L.E.S. Jewels. He's a newlywed! No kiddin'. Just a few weeks prior to this picture being taken Jewels got married! Click here to see pics from his wedding!

So anyhow, Jewels has been a sore on the ass of the East Village for the past 15 years or so, getting more and more infected as time goes on. He regularly harasses everyone he can get within 20 feet of and I've even been so lucky as to witness him jerking off while crying, sitting on someone's front step, while the lady who lived there waited for him to finish so she could take in her groceries.

Jewels is one big fucking mess, and I have avoided posting him on my site because he has the ability to make any person's life in the E. Village one living hell on earth. If you don't believe me click here and see for yourself.

And yes, you too Mr. Junkie! You too are part of my Union Square summer sunshine day dream! You and your David Lee Roth antics under a rusty spoon influence and the warm breeze of body odor.
I even ache for you.

Jesus Christ! If it hasn't been made totally clear to you already, New York City has a junky problem! They're all over the place conking out everywhere, slowly dying on every street corner.

This one here is 8 months pregnant begging for spare change while nodding off on heroin.

Oh yeah, and you can be sure it's Springtime at Union Square beach when the lifeguard slumps over into a junkie-nod and he does not see his shadow.

Spring has returned along with my smile.

So I'm walking up to Union with a friend explaining to him how Union Square is different at nighttime than it is during the day. "It's a whole different scene. People are a little crazier, drunker and stupider." Then, not five minutes after we sit down on the steps there this grinning junky comes up and starts singing to us, then shows us his arms, and proceeds to squeeze pus out of his track marks, rubbing it all over his arm. [see video, if you dare] Fucking outrageous, right?

Afterwards the junky bums a cigarette and takes a huge drag from it, turns his head and vomits like a fucking volcano all over the steps right were we're sitting! We all leap up and scramble several feet away, laughing in complete disgust while the newly refreshed junky runs off into the night.

Then you pinch her ass and say "But you is my bitch," and then she understands, and you both stagger around in the street some more, still unable to find a cab that'll pick your sorry asses up.

Why is that?