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Photo by Skater Bob

This is a picture of models explaining pictures of themselves and discussing how pretty they are.

In these particular images (both photos above) the boy is explaining the photos and it's the girl who's discussing with him how pretty he is in them.

Sometimes the roles are reversed.

Photo by Normal Bob

In case your eye isn't sharp to spot a model, there are some key elements to look for.

#1. The manbun is a trademark of male models. If you're a male model in the city you probably have a manbun. If you're not sure, take a look in the mirror. Does the guy in the glass have a manbun? Then you're a model. Congrats.

#2. Portfolios are absolutely essential to carry around everywhere a true model goes. A proper portfolio contains pictures of oneself at their most beautiful, and works as an important conversation piece between the model and anyone he/she encounters, ever, anywhere.

#3. People asking for phone numbers. If you see a pretty person asking a stranger for their phone number, that stranger is most likely a model. Look around. Is someone asking you for your number? Precisely.

Photo by Normal Bob
If you were wondering, Yes, being joyful, popular and loved is commonplace for models. There's no rejection, discomfort or any undesirable aspect of life if you're a beautiful model.

Photo by Normal Bob

In this picture a beautiful model had fun playfully riding the skateboard of a stranger who offered it willingly. Then when she was done, she went and took from other people who all smiled and tried to offer more of themselves until the beautiful model grew bored and walked away.

These are all normal, everyday occurrences in the life of a model. It's expected, openly discussed between themselves, and complained about if a minute goes by without it.

Photo by Normal Bob

"When you're like, a model in New York City, you're like so overwhelmed by all the stuff, and people around make it hard to walk normal a lot of the time, and sometimes just taking off and putting on your sunglasses can make you forget how to turn around, and at the same time having to just BE a model off the clock can be a lot to handle all at once!"

"It's all really difficult, so don't think it's easy, like, being a model, 'cause it's not."

"Hey, has anyone seen where the the ground keeps disappearing to?"

Photo by Normal Bob

Male models are generally victims of fashion, or what's more commonly known as "Fashion Victims."

They are controlled by the mass opinion on what's hip, fashionable, and terribly accentuating of good looks completely submitting their mind and personality to the opinions of American Apparel, peer pressure amongst other male models, and Enrique Iglesias.

Photo by Normal Bob

One of the greatest downfalls of being a beautiful model is having to converse only with people who've got nothing to say or any interesting opinion about anything worth talking about.

As a result what follows are long extended intervals of silence broken only by suggestions of what to do or where to go next. This combined with the self-imposed restriction of socializing only with other beautiful people leads to small, beautiful hordes of wanderers traveling from location to location, virtually silent, only briefly discussing their next location before moving on, and so forth.

There is no escape from this pattern until either age or a disfiguring accident alters ones beauty status from "very" to "not."

Photo by Skater Bob
What's Springtime without all the skater boy models that come to Union Square with their portfolios looking to make dreams happen!

Photos by Normal Bob
These ones claim that they don't like guys who are models.

To translate, what this means in their language is that instead they like really, really good looking guys who aren't actually models.

Photo by Normal Bob
I'm so fed up with having to deal with these haughty Manhattan model types with their photographers right in the way of pedestrian traffic like they're the most important, beautiful people in the city! we don't need your kind here!

Photo by Normal Bob
Take it to Vogue Studios you pretentious uptown waifs! This is Union Square, and we don't need your kind here!

A lot of people told me that when they saw the Union Square map and its claim of "Models," they shook their head in disbelief and thought, "Puh-leeze! How do YOU know they're models, Normal Bob Smith?" and "This is really stretching it! If you're trying to keep me coming back to the site you don't have to feed me straight-out bullshit. You know everyone's occupation? How? Explain it to me!"

This is for those people.


 Of course some of these "models" might need some serious cosmetic surgery to really make it as a model. Maybe after more plastic surgery a few of these models could make it to the big leagues. Of course there are some that won't make it no matter how many surgeries they have.

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© 2012 All photos and videos are property of
Insults written strangely are describing strangers I have to see every single day and I don't want them to be sure what it means either.

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