Dear Almighty God,

What can I do to get an email address at your domain? Am I allowed to write you an email if I'm an atheist? Time magazine once ran a front page article saying you were dead; was that a stunt to evade the media? What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Sorry to bug you so much, and Amen,



I am not dead! Due to the fact that I am invisible, often my existence is doubted, but as you can tell, I am very much alive. Do you think the fine folks at would have given an email account to a dead man?! I'd like to see TIME Magazine explain that! Sensationalizing bastards.

So if you're a living entity, you can have your very own GodMail address. Thanks to them, now I can be contacted via email day or night by anybody. Believer or not!

As for your "chicken or egg" question. I hardly see the importance of dignifying that with an answer, but here's a hint: I created Adam and Eve as adults. My idea. I mean Christ, who wants to take care of TWO parentless babies? Especially before the invention of pacifiers.

Stay out of trouble. Keep worshipping me and would it kill ya to lay off the porn for a day?

Love, God

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