Dear God,

If I go to Heaven, that perfect place where I find eternal happiness, but my bhuddist brother doesn't, I'll miss him. Therefore, heaven won't be perfect and neither will You. How can this be? How can all of the people in heaven not miss their friends. I know it is supposed to be sweet up there with the foosball and the Mormon hunts and all, but still.

AMEN!
Ed


Edward F. Torri, Jr,
 

Not to worry! I have just OK'd the use of holographic stand-ins of loved ones in Hell. So if for instance, your brother practices Bhuddist beliefs and, as everyone knows he'll go to Hell for this. Upon his arrival at the Pearly Gates there'll be an authentic, virtual hologram made of your brother that'll be indistinguishable from him. That hologram will be brought into Heaven while the actual person gets sent straight to Hell. This hologram will be waiting for you thus relieving you of any grief you would feel in his absence.

You'd be able to socialize with him, share memories, and love him as you did on Earth. All of this while the actual brother serves out his eternal existence in the torturous, fiery pits of Hell. You won't know the difference... oh but I assure you that he will!

We're also on the fringes of applying physical attributes to these holograms for the purposes of hugging, congratulatory back slaps, high fives and so forth.

I guarantee that you won't find another afterlife that promises holographic imagery of damned loved ones anywhere!

 
Love, God

 

Past Letters

Would you like to ask God a question too?
Click Here.