Dear Almighty Lord,

I tried to send this message to You telepathically, but I got no response. I tried simply saying it out loud, but my inbox remains vacant of a reply. I guess You probably have a hard time screening all the prayers and what not that You must get simultaneously from millions of people on Earth (and You know how many from elsewhere!) But my question is this: Why would You put us in such a situation where we are torn between what we feel to be right, and what we are taught to be right? How can You expect people to uphold the traditions of thier ancestors when it appears that we should, maybe, (I know this sounds crazy) start thinking for ourselves so that we may save the planet from overpopulation and global warming for our childrens' sake? It is either this or we keep clinging to the blind sense of hope that You will make it all better one day and we can go on treating each other like shit, I mean like poo, without ever trying to reach a higher level of self-sufficiency. Please explain.

Crowded and sweatily yours,
I'm sure You know who wrote this....You're God!

Jeremy Watts,

One of My favorite things about My whole plan is all of the blind faith it entails. You've got know idea what to believe and what not to believe. I pit you against yourselves, war, disease, dog attacks, babies droppin' into wells, you guys don't know what's goin' on.

And amidst all of this you've got to believe crap like how I got every species of animal onto a giant boat or why anal sex is evil. It's pure entertainment through and through.

Weave that into the fact that this is your one chance to get it right or it's Hell for the lot of ya', you got yourself the greatest show on Earth. Literally!

You'd see what I was talkin' about if you were up here. Fucking madness.

Love, God


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