Dear Almighty Holiness Sir,

I would humbly like to ask your reverence a follow up question.I know us puny humans have little meaning to someone so supreme as you, however you seem to always be in need of money you seem to have the spending habits of a drunken sailor on shore leave] and I have a friend who's an unemployed money manager.He could really use the work and maybe you could use a budget with which to work modestly within.No disrespect intended sir, but poor people really kind of need what they have got.

Yours Humbly J.D.


Jerry,
 

The way the rules go, if you don't worship Me specifically (Christian guidelines), you're going to Hell... for eternity! This is the only chance you get to determine the eternal fate of your soul. I know, I know, I've got a pretty care free attitude about you guys' everlasting lives but what-er-ya-gonna-do...?

So listen up! You know what I think of people who haven't heard of me? Fuck 'em. That's right, you heard me! Fuck 'em! And it is for this reason that you folks need to pool together your money and spread my Goddamned word!

I expect you to take up the slack for My half-assed plan. It's part of your punishment for being... ah, sinners. Yeah that's it, ya damn sinners.

 
Love, God

 

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