Oh God, Holy Father of Sweet Suffering Jesus on the Cross with 9-Inch Nails Through His Hands and Feet, Dearest Good Buddy:

I have always wondered,since the 2nd year of my twelve-year incarceration in Catholic schools, IF YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ANYBODY EVER DID OR WILL DO, ISN'T IT LIKE ENDLESSLY WATCHING RERUNS? THERE ARE NO SURPRISES, RIGHT? YOUR DIVINE SELF KNOWS THE RIGHT OR WRONG CHOICES WE WILL MAKE, SO AREN'T YOU STUPENDOUSLY BORED? IF NOT I CAN ONLY CONCLUDE, WITH UNDUE RESPECT, THAT YOU, SIR, ARE A SADIST. AND THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT YOU ARE A WOMAN.

AMEN.


 

Yes, what you say is true. I have mapped out EVERY instance of life right down to the most insignificant pine cone falling from a tree in the deepest part of uninhabited woods on June 14th, 2002, 2:16AM at the eleventh second in Johnsville, Illinois. Go ahead and check. I'm right on the money.

Everything that has or will ever happen is scripted out (by Me) never to change all the way up to the end of the universe. Outside of that, you guys are free to make your own choices and do as you please. But it's already been decided if that's what you're asking.

And let me tell you, you don't know "bored" until you've sat through a planet's existence from beginning to end knowing what's going to happen every single second of every millennium.

Call Me what you will (because I've scripted that as well) that's life and there's nothin' you can do about it... unless it's part of My plan... for you to change it?

 
Love, God

 

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