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That's
a very thoughtful and sensitive question. Hmm, how am I doing?
OK Djoek and Myra, I'll tell you how I'm doing. I am trying
to be God over a planet that I hope to one day make entirely
Christian.... AND I'M TOTALLY FLIPPING MY LID! IT'S COMPLETE
MADNESS DOWN THERE!
No
one really believes in Me! I am God over this whole
empty universe and you guys are the closest I've gotten to
totally Christian! It's appalling! Have you switched through
the stations lately? Have you browsed over a magazine stand
in the last 20 years? How 'bout this Djoek, have you looked
in the mirror lately?!?!
It's
like I to have to wipe out a whole nother race... again!
First with the dinosaurs! You've no idea how far those things
were from loving Me! Have you ever tried cuddling up to a
crocodile? It's not exactly a prescription for the blues.
So
then I made cavemen. Christ! Could they kill a mood! And those
slopeheads were worshipping everything BUT Me! The sun, rocks,
fireflies! Yeah that's right, FIREFLIES! I created the human
soul and these knuckle-draggers bowed down to bat food! I
tell ya, it was a joy squashing them under My thumb!
Oh,
and then I made Adam and Eve! Those bastards sold me out for
an APPLE! Goddamned PRODUCE is all they needed to stab a knife
in the back of their Master! And then their kids start murdering
each other?!?! Fucking MURDER! Can you believe it? And I was
hardly a generation into the race! I waited too goddamned
long to drown that big mistake.
OK,
so after the flood I'm thinking that it couldn't get any worse.
So you know what you folks did? YOU EXECUTED MY SON!
HA! YEAH, I KNOW! I mean what the?!?! I was utterly speechless!
And
now there's you guys. You with your adult oriented entertainment,
walk-man radio playin', cockfights, road rage, half T-shirt
contests and pimp daddies. It's hopeless. I guess that I just
don't have the knack for building a fan base.
So
yeah, I'm doing peachy keen. Thanks for askin'.
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