Dear Almighty God, Creator Of Life On Earth

Dearest Father, if we, Your imperfect creations are good and follow Your path, we will be granted a VIP spot in Your heaven, no? That is what Your book says right? It says we will serve You forever in Your kingdom. Well, what kind of servitude?

I have to let You know, I dont take kindly to washing feet or cooking meals. Could I, Divine Father, just go to heaven and just lie around? I mean, life on earth serving You makes me very tired, so I dont see why I should serve You in Heaven too. It's like, nonstop work. Maybe I could relax on a cloud, light up a blunt, and chill for a bit. Would You grant me that privelage, God?

Dresden Diaz


What you aren't getting is that serving Me is what Heaven's all about! It's My Heaven! I made it. It's exactly how I want it to be. If you made Heaven you'd do the same thing... but you didn't.

So you'll do as I say, and serving Me includes feet washing, cooking and any other worshipping gestures that I think up.

I never said it was YOUR Heaven.


Love, God


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