So whenever I'm feeling
down and out and I think that no one cares any more (usually on
days when I don't get any hate mail), I indulge myself and put up
A page of Fan Mail
I tend to focus on the girls, so please bear with me.
I just wanted
to let you know how you have saved my soul. I was a sinner until
I found your site. The dress up Jesus site that is. I think it is
such a blessing that you have made it where I can come to your site
and when ever I feel the urge come and dress up Jesus in the coolest
hippest clothes that you personally provide for us. I was angry
all these years for my mother not buying me a dress me up Barbie,
now I can play with the ultra cool messiah of fashion. The Dress
Up Jesus! ;)
the good work! Love- Vanessa
you ever so kindly for creating your web site. I know that there
are others out there like me who can and will appreciate your astounding
wit and sarcasm. I love every bit of it. The divine
bovine takes the cake, followed closely by the hangman's
plastic bag and poodle, the movie
reviews, and Jesus'
antlers and red nose.
I am sorry
that you must waste so much of your time responding to a bunch of
humorless zealots (lemmings?), but it does make for some pretty
hilarious reading material! Please continue to use your wonderful
talents. This web site is obviously a source of great happiness
and fulfillment for you. I am sorry that I am unable to donate a
dollar at this time. I hope that someday you will be able to follow
your dream and quit your day job.
have no picture to send with this email. (I know that you will take
care of that.) I can assure you that I would not look good in rubber
pants, however, I have been blessed with an incredible pair of hooters.
I cannot wait to see how you imagine me to look, and I would be
most pleased to receive a response. Thanks again and if you don't
mind would you please pass a short message on to your physically
fit girlfriend? Please tell her that she is very, very lucky to
have a boyfriend like you!
A fan forever,
the girlfriend that I spoke of then is no more. We have parted
ways and I am single once again.
if by chance you look anything like the picture I have imagined
you to be, feel free to visit me with a box of candy (fancy
mints) and a dozen white roses.
knows, you could be the next very, very lucky girl to have
a boyfriend like me.
the level of fan-dom can be hard to judge, but I think this person
ranks a 3 on a scale of 1 through 10.
I'm a Christian and I couldn't be happier in any other religion.
Yes, I do know that for a fact because I have studied other
religions. Anyway, to move on.
Exactly where does it say all catholics go to hell? Im not
finding it, but maybe you did, and I would just like to know
where it was. Another question....what kind of church did
you go to? I'm Baptist. Ok well I need to go. Write back soon.
Yes, but don't
you think you'd be happier in another religion? ...Oh, never
mind. You beat me to my question.
I was raised Evangelical
Free Christian and though they never said "Catholics are going
to Hell" the implication was that some Catholic beliefs were
absolutely off the mark which meant that their salvation could
be at risk. I think that it's on page 412.
But you're missing
the joke. My intention was to depict the absurdity of religion
by pitting their trivial differences against each other causing
them to turn on themselves and self destructing, thus eliminating
all religion as we know it. But explaining it takes away the
"funny"... you're such a killjoy.
sounds like my own plan of world domina---nevermind. Yes,
I am a killjoy. Anyway, so what do you call yourself now?
(Ok seeing as you think like me..all jokes aside!)...what
religion do you associate with? Atheism is a choice.Of course
trying to get rid of all religion would totally confuse the
question...or just me... Anyway. I personally do not believe
that your actions send you to hell...just the fact that you
aren't saved. I thank you for your ability of being able to
state your point of view in your last email without killing
mine. Have you looked at other churches? I mean there's Methodist,
Baptist, and many others.
I don't believe
that there is any God at all, therefore I am an atheist. I
took your suggestion and tried out Methodist, Baptist and
many other churches but each of them think there's a God.
I was quickly hurried out and pushed into the street where
the godless belong.
Then I got this anonymously...
If you're out there doing these horrible
things to me, feel free to send me a screen shot of your masterpiece.
I like knowing exactly how you feel.
what can I say ... I'm completely empathetic toward your situation.
I'm only fifteen and already I've personally experienced the
insanely large amount of bigots within the Christian religion.
I'm a Wiccan from Pittsburgh and we're swarming with them here.
I have gods just like them and if a website designer was to
dress one of them up I would be secure enough in my faith not
to get offended, and obviously they aren't. The only thing they
can do is quote that damn book and preach to you in the streets,
but never once have I heard something profound fall from their
mouths. I in no way hate Christians, nor hold a bias against
them, however I'm beginning to think that some have the mental
capacity of a rock.
follow each other around like lambs, lacking opinions and
personal direction. I noticed in some of the responses to
your hate mail you repeat the same thing over and over but
they're too self-involved to notice. They are so concerned
about getting their own point across they ignore yours. These
loving and caring people also seem to be the first ones to
use the word hate. I was actually raised Christian, and went
to a Christian school up until eighth grade. And do you know
what that instilled in my faith? Nothing! They are a bunch
of lying procrastinators, who do nothing but ask for money.
They had the choice to go to that website and they made the
wrong choice obviously. Many of them say friends gave them
links, yet knowing full that something they didn't want to
see was on there they looked at it anyway. BUT, since they're
Christians (and never wrong may I add ) they had to take it
out on you. That's like saying you came upon a porn site and
accidentally signed up for a six month membership. Since this
email is lacking a point I'll just conclude by saying you
should be proud of your hate mail, it just let's the writers'
true "intelligence" all hang out.
site is rad!
I know you're prone to mocking outdated slang, so I've included
a carefully selected word above for you to have fun with.
I appreciate your
website for the content and the art. It's hard to find other
like-minded people in the world. Never having belieived in
any organized religion or otherwise, I can't help but think
christians are stupid. I feel bad making such a broad generalization,
but what would I think about someone that told me 2 + 2 =
5? It doesn't make sense! That's why I think it's hilarious
reading the mail from these people, condemning you for your
humour, yet their point of view is so unsubstantiated. Brainwashing,
I say! > You're sick? I think it's a lot more sick to dedicate
your life to a made up story from a time no one is alive to
tell about, and truly believing it. That is the downfall of
society, not people that base their decisions/lives on common
sense and morality. Self proclaimed "good christians" might
do something nice for somebody, but are they doing it because
they don't want to go to hell or because they're nice people?
I (sometimes) do nice things, but it's because I want to.
Not out of fear of hell.
how in the letters, people say "I'm might not be the perfect
christian...". Why aren't they the perfect christian if they
believe it to be true? If the world were truly the "christian
bootcamp of life", I'd be doing what I was supposed to. Hypocrites.
I believe that way back when modern society was coming about,
the catholic church were wealty from all the pillaging. Therefore
they had an advantage over the common people. They realized
that the majority of people in society couldn't read, so they
commissioned artists to depict the bible in art, so the brainwashing
begun. And artists had no income other than from churches and
royalty, and that's why all the art from that period is either
god-related or king-related. Basically, they were the first
corporation using advertising. And that's all it's about. All
the simple peasant people (the majority) were dumb and were
scared and did what people told them, and multiplyed for generations,
and so on. I just can't figure out, with all the obviousness
of religion being so wrong, why people still get angry when
you tell them there is no god, and they're just weak minded
can't-face-reality people. It's a serious psychological problem
to make up an alternate reality to deal with unpleasant happenings
in life! Why can't anybody see that! So damn right I'm gonna
laugh at "Dress-up Jesus", I'm gonna laugh at every preist that
molests a 12 year old boy, and I'm gonna laugh at every loser
that doesn't make any pro-active decisions/actions in life their
sad sorry life because "It's god's will". Sheep is a good word.
Words that can be substituted for shepard are Adolf Hitler,
Saddam Hussein, Fidel Castro, and any other asshole that knows
how to manipulate weak people.
Anyway, thank you
for letting me rant because I haven't really found anyone
that would ever in their life sit through a conversation like
that without screaming/yelling/crying/killing me, etc. other
than my brother. Hopefully you understand that it's nice to
get it all out. You must, other wise you wouldn't have gone
to all that trouble in Illustrator. That comes from the heart
: ). I'm an artist too, and would also like to express all
my rantings and ravings somehow. I need to get Dreamweaver,
though. Maybe if you're interested I send you some pictures
I've done. I'm a graphic designer by trade, but I enjoy drawing
fine art/cartoons and stuff. I need to figure out how to make
a living at it. If for some reason you find my letter stimulating
and you'd like to post it on your page (not being egotistical,
just worried) please don't put my email address up because
I don't need any of those nice, god fearing christians driving
by my house laying their vengeance upon thee.