Dear Bob,

My name is Tyler Patton and I am a 16-year-old male living in Colorado (Not like it matters, but hey, I sorta feel I need to let you know my current "vital statistics" so you can make the proper stereotypes about me.) I've sorta been in a pinch lately with my parents and my friends and I've needed places to go to sort myself out. I haven't had an outlet (until I met Jeremy, a friend of mine). My life is hell right now, as I suppose most 16-year-olds think. Last August, I was booted out of my house by my dad, upon the words of, "Get out of here. You are a worthless piece-of-shit and I hope I never have to see you again." The reason I was living with my dad was because my mom was (and still is) a heavy alcoholic and they got divorced, so obviously, I didn't want to subject myself to her fits. I am a musician by heart, and my dad never really approved of anything I ever did, including my music and my friends.&nb! sp; My mom still drinks heavily and throws fits almost every night when she gets home from work. My sister won't even talk to me because I went to my dad after the divorce. My father kicked me out because, basically, after he married my step-mom, she warped him into believing that I would never succeed at anything and that I needed to be under strict supervision because, "Teenagers these days can't be trusted because they are all wild, mindless beasts."

Lately, I've felt lost because of this situation, and I am becoming more irritable and pugnacious than ever. I used to be a "Preppy little jock" styled kid, until my dad booted me, and I've phased into a dark person. My grades are mortifying. My old friends want nothing to do with me and I've become the epitome of a "Loner." I've also been contemplating suicide for the past three months. These, sort of, are the background factors.

I got your website from a friend of mine's personal website. After exploring your site, I found it very therapeutic and generous to my thoughts. Your website, while humorous, is a place I can go to help myself escape my daily antagonies (if you will). Every time I visit your site, I feel a little bit of the depression slip away. I always leave it with a smile. The section entitled "God Ate my Balls" also is a big inspiration to me. After I read it, I no longer feel the urges I get for suicide. I guess I am sort of at a loss as to what to say. There are so many good things about your website, that I cannot express them all and how much I appreciate it. I would like to say, "Thank you," for putting it out into this desolate world, because I am sure I'm not the only one who finds it so inspiring and therapeutic. I cannot express to you the joy (yet another loss of words) I recieve from it. The void my father has left me, I feel, is mildly filled by your words ! and your expressions. My note is long enough, and as how I understand that you are a busy person, and I want to end it on a note of what a unique and admirable person you are. I can't thank you enough for what an impact you are having on me.

Your Avid Fan,
Tyler

Thank you very very much Tyler.
I can't tell you how inspirational this letter is to me. I can tell you that as time passes things change and you move on. You can actually move yourself as far away from your parents and this episode of your life as you like. You'll look back on it all and see it for what it was, and learn from it.

I totally appreciate this letter you wrote and I would like to have your permission to post it. I'll keep it as anonymous as you'd like me to.

Did you know that I grew up in Colorado as well? Lakewood... then I moved to Denver. Where are you there?

Thank you again for the email.
Go see a movie called "Bowling for Columbine".
Bob.

i stumbled upon your site a little while back and since then i'm addicted.

let me tell you my sad story and how your site lessened the grief. about a year ago i was a relatively happy teenager living in the heart of toronto, a multicultural urban playground.

but a few months ago i was savagely ripped from my home when my mom got a transfer to cincinnati, ohio. we moved to anderson township, a small homogenously white christian suburb, filled with the most ignorant people i have ever met in my life. there is no escaping them. your site gives me my daily fix of blasphemy. thanks.

i'm sending you a picture of me and my best friend taken about a year ago. i'm the one in the bunny ears. don't ask. that was a crazy night.

bye
-evelyn

Hello Mr sir- you will find no clear thesis here!

Good day to you. i appreciate your entertaining of me, maybe you are familiar with this web site,but if not here you go! www.whitehouse.org

also, i am curious how difficult it is to write something to you, and to be torn up. I really am a bit masochistic at times...hmmm

Also , i do believe that you do indeed provide a great service for people even though you recieve little praise or backing from any other than from teen-angst ridden people who are happy to jump on the your intellectual bandwagon giving you a 'halleluja' while forgoing the opportunity to provide anything really relevant or of any consequence. (I at times am one of these) individuals. The people who get the most out of it will express their affection with telling you where to shove it.

You are very alive

and thats what makes you so compelling, for people that are both for and against you. I mean you are a challenge, people secretly are exhillarated by critisizing you, and feeling superior to you. You sadly give them a great perverse joy (one which i was referring to earlier) a some excitement which in many cases is relatively sparce in their idealised lives. Again with the aforementioned service free of chrage. Somewhat of a 'christian' idea..dont you think?

heheeh i am just kidding. I dont want to offend you, no...wait, that would indeed be more fun, you sir are an intellectual pugilist always seem up to a fight!

...perhaps i am not being entirely clear. This email is not tidy either gramatically or not even neceserily coherent. So i ask you to put in a bit of work to disregard the shortfalls and interpret that which i am trying to babble about.

all in all. I admire what you have done, you have been awakened from the intellectual dead of our society, and are provoking glimmers of life in others. including myself

thank you for entertaining the rant and the ranter

sincerely
Connor Marsh

I stumbled upon your website yesterday, whew, what a blast of fresh air!! I loved it!! I almost laughed my head off, all the time agreeing with the stark TRUTH of your statements. You are closer to what the fundamental Christians call 'God' than they are.

That book of fairy tales called the Bible is the starting place.. but not the final place to find the "God conciousness" we are to seek. The seeking of the truth is the quest. You are on it, Buddy. It's made alone...hence the "pick up your cross and follow me"...and the things of this world that mean a lot to people mean nothing to the spirit. Preachers are liars and don't want folks to really read the Bible and understand it, cause then no one would listen to Preachers.

Anyway, Jesus' so called first miracle was to turn water into wine to keep the party going, and yet Preachers tell us drinking is a sin. ??? God told Hosea to "go marry a whore". They don't teach us that story in Sunday School. The daughters of Lot got him drunk and had sex with him. Angels, or aliens came down and had sex with humans which resulted in giants. There are all kinds of stories in the Bible that we never hear about in church, and sadly, most are too lazy, or think they are too dumb, to read and figure it out for themselves. I just wanted to tell you that I like your website, and have sent it to some of my friends. Most of the ones I sent it to won't go there because you see, they think I am a nut. I am a 51 year old grandmother that doesn't follow the crowd. Who knows? We might just meet in "heaven" someday!Keep up the good work!!

Deborah Braswell
Granbury, TX

Bob, First off, I am NOT a Christian. The Bible has more holes in it than swiss cheese. I do have a few spiritual beliefs that come from some of the Eastern religions such as Taoism, and Hinduism.

When you talk about religion, I have to wonder do you have much knowledge of any of the others besides Judeo-Christianity? Taoism simply believes that the natural universe has an undercurrent of impersonal energy called the 'Tao' that is the energy that gives the universe existence. It does not believe that the 'Tao' is a being or is a personal anthropomorphic God, but a natural force. Hindu's believe that there Is one God that is manifested in many ways (many gods) this is different from polytheism which is the belief in many distinct gods.Hindu's don't believe these God's to be physically real, but just symbols of a particular force that exists. For instance (the elephant god ganesha). They believe the symbols of gods are just there to open up your consciousness to a particular energy that exists in the universe. There are much more to these religions than just this, but I'm simplifying here. Some of these religions is obviously myth as well, but the people who believe in these faiths don't deny that some of it is, unlike Christianity. (like the story of Buddha's Birth under the Bodhi Tree) Buddhism.

I know that you have some knowledge of Christianity and Judaism but you probably don't know much about some of the other faiths. So, how could you decide that you have No spiritual beliefs when you know so little about other religions/philosophies?

Also, I have a friend who clinically died for 35 minutes. He died at 2:15 in the morning while I was asleep. During this time while he was dead, I woke up and saw him standing at the foot of my dead. He told me that he might die and that he wanted too see me. He told me to tell his mom that he was alright. I wrote all of this down right after it happened. He was revived and after awakened he told his doctors and family about his Near death experience and that he visited me and told me he might die. It was at the same time that I saw him and wrote down what happened. Everything he told his family word for word was what he told me. Any thoughts on this? I'm not lying!

Ryan Larson

There are many faiths out there that I do not know in detail or come in contact with on a regular basis.

When I am urinating over the stack of Amplified Bibles in my home I go out of my way to steer clear of most other icons scattered about my floor. A few droplets sometimes splatter onto the Zendik magazine I purchased from a cute girl who smiled at me, but I keep the stream pretty well aimed at what I know.

I do not feel that hole in my life which inspires so many to search through those many options. If/when that void in my life ever makes itself known maybe it'll be enough reason for me to start hunting for answers once more.

My atheist beliefs have been keeping me very sane, fulfilled, inspired and directed. Its truth and logic proves itself to me each and every day. I've found that I'm able to depend on myself more than anyone else, including the gods I've dabbled in.

However the story you concluded with sent goose bumps up and down my spine, past my elbows and knees, right on down to my tippy toes. Holy Mother Mary and Joseph there really is a God and an afterlife to follow. Praise Jesus. It turns out that that final paragraph is all the proof I've needed. It's a miracle. Seriously. Double wow.

Bob, thanks for the reply, whatever works for you is all that really matters, I was just wondering what you thought about this stuff. Peace and good luck with your art, and in fighting Christians, I'll keep reading your hatemail as well. Oh, by the way, I didn't even know that they made a "Dream a Little Dream 2", the first one was bad enough!

Ryan Larson