fans like that...
am thrilled that so many of you have such passion for comedy ...
but if you're going take part in the cleverness, be very careful!
It 's not as easy as it seems.
are some letters from fans who are doing there part to spread the
news (Some just do it better than others) and the results of fans
not doing it properly.
in your fan mail, include a picture, and if it's interesting
enough, I'll post it.
Normal Bob Smith ....
are free to do what you want ... but use your head when you
send people your shit. Make sure they understand it is from
you and perhaps change your site name to abnormalbobsmith.com
so people don't start thinking that any Bob Smith will do
- if they decide to applaud or object. Fair enough?
find your website informitive and inlightful. I find you a
great writer and answer man. I know that this country is great
because we have freedom of speech. And I find that you don't
take any crap from anyone, and that is very coolness. I know
that you prolly get tired of getting e-mails from people that
would rather spend their time converting people then worrying
about their own lives. My friend and I are constantly asked
to change our religion everyday. We find your website a great
website. I say to you good sir, keep up the good work.
i have now noticed that i can send you an interesting picture
of myself....my name, well, they just call me "Bill" (they
really do). I have an interesting picture of myself and a
sculpture my friend and i made in the snow...
was just checking out your site and in particular "supper
chics". I was clicking so fast I hit the send button after
I clicked on the super chick image. So regarding nothing!
Cool site though, sorry about the
Crisis game bro, seemed like a good game, sorry business
type fucks like myself always screwing shit up! One other
observation, Lorel is really
hot, lucky you to have friends like that. Your views on Jesus
are well, what most people think in the deep dark corners
of thier brains but to afraid to say.. ahh how refreshing
to see good ole common sense finding a home.. here is one
who can use for the hate mail that comes in "Stephen King
writes some good books but you don't see anyone creating a
religion around him do ya? (well for the most part anyway)
Anyway I think I have agreed with you enough to secure my
spot in hell, see ya there, bring some stuff for smores! Tell
Lorel that she will be engrained in my brain for at least
another hour or so before I hit a good porn site. Keep up
the good work!
your FAN MAIL with a picture and if it's interesting enough I'll post
Re: [Fwd: ]
Lorel's got an admirer!
My God! What a scary young man.
the way, I read your new hate mail tonight. You have no idea
how much I needed to laugh this evening. I laughed and laughed.
Poor Irish Rose. I can't imagine
being that confused.
let's face it, if there was a god, you would be him. That's
why I felt it necessary to find one
of your hate-mailers on AOL and harass them...
I did it twice, it gets funnier towards the end.
What do you have against Bob, anyways? FlYmOnNiEcHk28:
who is this
This is Bob's sponser. He's in a support group, I'll have
you know, and all because of that email you sent.
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: what emails????
You sent him a spiteful email at normalbobsmith.com aNewKindOfIdiot:
and it tore him up pretty bad, I'll have you know. FlYmOnNiEcHk28:
He had a nervous breakdown, and shaved every bit of green
hair off his head.
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: who are
you talking about??
Oh you know very well what I'm talking about. aNewKindOfIdiot:
You seemed a little "upset" from his Jesus Dress Up page...
a man, simply trying to understand jesus, is a victim of your
he tried to shrug off your comments, but it did no good. Eventually,
he broke down, panicked that the rest of the world hated him
as much as you.
I hope you can't sleep because of his pain. aNewKindOfIdiot:
I should hope this silence is merely your way of showing respect
Bob should be about soon... Is there anything (like an apology)
that you'd like me to pass to him?
So... you don't wish to repent?
Oh boy... I suppose I'll have to break the news to God. aNewKindOfIdiot:
and Bob. > aNewKindOfIdiot: Well I hope you're happy. aNewKindOfIdiot:
He saw the conversation, screamed, and ran out the door. aNewKindOfIdiot:
I don't know where he is now, but his blood is on your hands.
They found bob...
He was huddled beneath a willow, shaking. FlYmOnNiEcHk28:
good he's okay
the conversation really shook him up
but I think he's getting it back together now FlYmOnNiEcHk28:
oh.. what conversation
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: i wasn't
even talking to you
yes you were
let me think.. NO
I'm Bob's sponser, remember?
you were the one that sent him hateful letters aNewKindOfIdiot:
and he lost it
had a nervous break down
i sent him NO hateful letters
would you like me to resurrect them?
go for it.... i have them too..
you have what? The hateful letters?
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: the letters..
i sent him..
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: and they
are NOT hateful...
They are hateful towards his way of thinking aNewKindOfIdiot:
what used to be his life -- he now questions its worth FlYmOnNiEcHk28:
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: do you
want me to do something about it.. his web page was just plain
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: and i
have no regrets writing him and telling him that aNewKindOfIdiot:
I want you to apologize to Bob.
he's in quite a state now, I wish you could see him. FlYmOnNiEcHk28:
umm.. i didn't do anything..
You crushed his ideals and belief system. That's nothing?
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: i did
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: his web
page says for ppl to send him mail.. FlYmOnNiEcHk28:
if he didn't want to know what ppl really thought about his
stuff.. then he shouldn't have done it
he did that from his own insecurities... He wanted to feel
that he was loved -- and he had people communicate with him
to do it. aNewKindOfIdiot:
He didn't expect anything like this, however. FlYmOnNiEcHk28:
whatever.... my friends sent him emails too.. i am not the
Oh, so that makes it alright?
if your "friends" all murdered priests, would that make it
you crack me up..
i'm sorry I have to tell bob that he's rejected once again
but I'm glad you find humor in his pain
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: i'll pray
To a god that would do this to Bob?
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: God didn't
do this to him.. he did it to himself FlYmOnNiEcHk28:
He did not do this to himself.
God punished him for a joke
he turned the crowds against him
now you think that hatred is acceptable..... you make me SICK.
I can't show this to Bob... to know that such hate is projected
towards him will certainly push him past the edge. FlYmOnNiEcHk28
signed off at 9:27:19 PM.
obviously aNewKindOfIdiot... Anyways, I know that this is total
BS, but it was fun anyways. Write back?
|Jesus Christ, You
made me look like a complete coward.
I don't know how to take this.
just got my doorbell rung buy some Jehovah's witnesses. In
honor of you and just for the hell of it because I haven't
had a good debate about religion in a long time. I sat out
in the freezing cold talking to to these people and trying
to understand the dribble that came out of there mouths and
then just blankly staring at me when I stumped them with one
of my perceptions of the same thing but with an atheistic
twist was rather amusing. I think they particularly didn't
like it when I used a quote from you "The Bible is A book
written buy man the same men that held their dicks when they
pissed" that just put a hush over the man trying to sell me
some his religion. We had a few more exchanges over some nonsensical
things then his wife I guess was like IM cold and he's obviously
freezing ( I was hardly shivering at all). Then as they walked
to there car I referred them to your web site. So hopefully
you will have some intresting hate mail from them. Im sure
you get this all the time but please post my mail it would
be an incredible honor im sorry for any typo's or anything
i know they'll be pointed out.
course there is always room for another hot girl's admiration and
||Do you think
you could take even one more compliment from the fairer species? (golly,
those Goth rocker chicks sure seem to dig you, Bob) well, now that
I'm here, I'd like to take the time to expound upon "the Corey phenomenon".
once upon a time, Bob (this is, like, junior high) I had a bout of
simultaneous, strange, and inexplicable crushes on Robert Smith, Johnny
Thunders, and... Corey Haim. a Motley fuckin Crew, don't you think?
I don't know if the Corey thing had to do with the lack of remotely
intelligent guys in the town I was living in, or what. Maybe I just
liked wimpy and oddly effeminate boys at the time.
Whatever. Anyway, I
love you baby. You know that. But I have to disagree with your choice
for #1 heinous movie. I save this prize for the Corey Haim horror
feature- 'fever lake'. Up one night, looking for some good porno
on TV (none of that playboy channel softcore crap) I came across
this cinematic triumph. Its been seared into my memory ever since.
I'd like to give you the plot synopsis. However, its so goddamned
contrived and ridiculous- I'm not even going to bother. Save to
say that its pointless, laughable, questionable, and did I mention
it also "stars" a cast member of 'saved by the bell'. Pretty much
says it all, doesn't it?
Now, Corey Haim is an
interesting one, bob. Rather androgynous figure, really. Likes him
some hair gel, in the movie 'the lost boys' he has a poster of rob
Lowe (???) on his wall and wears flamboyantly colored bathrobes
as outerwear. At the Corey Haim fanzine I found out that one of
Corey's personal ambitions is to win an academy award! Corey has
set some mighty high ambitions for himself. Also
here I think these quotes will
shed some light on why people find him to be of such high intellectual
esteem. Its pretty obvious this guy is not only multitalented, but
has his shit together too, boy! in more recent news he's plucked
his eyebrows and had a dance CD out in Germany. The treat for you
from what dive heard of his CD, its pretty powerful stuff, man.
Especially the second .wav file, 'livetogether'. apparently, all
Corey really wants is for us all to get along. I couldn't help but
get all bleary eyed at these particularly uplifting lyrics: "black,
white, yellow, and red- each and every kid needs to be fed." damn.