With fans like that...

I am thrilled that so many of you have such passion for comedy ... but if you're going take part in the cleverness, be very careful! It 's not as easy as it seems.

Here are some letters from fans who are doing there part to spread the news (Some just do it better than others) and the results of fans not doing it properly.

Send in your fan mail, include a picture, and if it's interesting enough, I'll post it.

Enjoy!

Hey Normal Bob Smith ....

You are free to do what you want ... but use your head when you send people your shit. Make sure they understand it is from you and perhaps change your site name to abnormalbobsmith.com so people don't start thinking that any Bob Smith will do - if they decide to applaud or object. Fair enough?

Thanks
Bob Smith


I find your website informitive and inlightful. I find you a great writer and answer man. I know that this country is great because we have freedom of speech. And I find that you don't take any crap from anyone, and that is very coolness. I know that you prolly get tired of getting e-mails from people that would rather spend their time converting people then worrying about their own lives. My friend and I are constantly asked to change our religion everyday. We find your website a great website. I say to you good sir, keep up the good work.

Well i have now noticed that i can send you an interesting picture of myself....my name, well, they just call me "Bill" (they really do). I have an interesting picture of myself and a sculpture my friend and i made in the snow...

Bill


I was just checking out your site and in particular "supper chics". I was clicking so fast I hit the send button after I clicked on the super chick image. So regarding nothing! Cool site though, sorry about the Crisis game bro, seemed like a good game, sorry business type fucks like myself always screwing shit up! One other observation, Lorel is really hot, lucky you to have friends like that. Your views on Jesus are well, what most people think in the deep dark corners of thier brains but to afraid to say.. ahh how refreshing to see good ole common sense finding a home.. here is one who can use for the hate mail that comes in "Stephen King writes some good books but you don't see anyone creating a religion around him do ya? (well for the most part anyway) Anyway I think I have agreed with you enough to secure my spot in hell, see ya there, bring some stuff for smores! Tell Lorel that she will be engrained in my brain for at least another hour or so before I hit a good porn site. Keep up the good work!

Pinkston, Shawn

Subject: Re: [Fwd: ]
Lorel's got an admirer!

Oh My God! What a scary young man.

By the way, I read your new hate mail tonight. You have no idea how much I needed to laugh this evening. I laughed and laughed. Poor Irish Rose. I can't imagine being that confused.

Lorel

Send your FAN MAIL with a picture and if it's interesting enough I'll post it.

Bob

Well, let's face it, if there was a god, you would be him. That's why I felt it necessary to find one of your hate-mailers on AOL and harass them... I did it twice, it gets funnier towards the end.

Bon appetite.
Ben
aNewKindOfIdiot

aNewKindOfIdiot: What do you have against Bob, anyways? FlYmOnNiEcHk28: who is this
aNewKindOfIdiot: This is Bob's sponser. He's in a support group, I'll have you know, and all because of that email you sent.
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: what emails????
aNewKindOfIdiot: You sent him a spiteful email at normalbobsmith.com aNewKindOfIdiot: and it tore him up pretty bad, I'll have you know. FlYmOnNiEcHk28: WWHAAT???
aNewKindOfIdiot: He had a nervous breakdown, and shaved every bit of green hair off his head.
FlYmOnNiEcHk28:: ........????
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: who are you talking about??
aNewKindOfIdiot: Oh you know very well what I'm talking about. aNewKindOfIdiot: You seemed a little "upset" from his Jesus Dress Up page... a man, simply trying to understand jesus, is a victim of your spite. aNewKindOfIdiot: Be ashamed.
aNewKindOfIdiot: he tried to shrug off your comments, but it did no good. Eventually, he broke down, panicked that the rest of the world hated him as much as you.
aNewKindOfIdiot: I hope you can't sleep because of his pain. aNewKindOfIdiot: I should hope this silence is merely your way of showing respect towards Bob.
aNewKindOfIdiot: Bob should be about soon... Is there anything (like an apology) that you'd like me to pass to him?
aNewKindOfIdiot: So... you don't wish to repent?
aNewKindOfIdiot: Oh boy... I suppose I'll have to break the news to God. aNewKindOfIdiot: and Bob. > aNewKindOfIdiot: Well I hope you're happy. aNewKindOfIdiot: He saw the conversation, screamed, and ran out the door. aNewKindOfIdiot: I don't know where he is now, but his blood is on your hands.


aNewKindOfIdiot: They found bob...
aNewKindOfIdiot: He was huddled beneath a willow, shaking. FlYmOnNiEcHk28: okay..
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: that's good he's okay
aNewKindOfIdiot: the conversation really shook him up
aNewKindOfIdiot: but I think he's getting it back together now FlYmOnNiEcHk28: oh.. what conversation
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: i wasn't even talking to you
aNewKindOfIdiot: yes you were
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: umm.. let me think.. NO
aNewKindOfIdiot: I'm Bob's sponser, remember?
aNewKindOfIdiot: you were the one that sent him hateful letters aNewKindOfIdiot: and he lost it
aNewKindOfIdiot: had a nervous break down
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: umm.. i sent him NO hateful letters
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: so.
aNewKindOfIdiot: would you like me to resurrect them?
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: okay.. go for it.... i have them too..
aNewKindOfIdiot: you have what? The hateful letters?
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: the letters.. i sent him..
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: and they are NOT hateful...
aNewKindOfIdiot: They are hateful towards his way of thinking aNewKindOfIdiot: what used to be his life -- he now questions its worth FlYmOnNiEcHk28: ..........???
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: do you want me to do something about it.. his web page was just plain EVIL
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: and i have no regrets writing him and telling him that
aNewKindOfIdiot: I want you to apologize to Bob.
aNewKindOfIdiot: he's in quite a state now, I wish you could see him. FlYmOnNiEcHk28: umm.. i didn't do anything..
aNewKindOfIdiot: You crushed his ideals and belief system. That's nothing? FlYmOnNiEcHk28: i did not..
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: his web page says for ppl to send him mail.. FlYmOnNiEcHk28: if he didn't want to know what ppl really thought about his stuff.. then he shouldn't have done it
aNewKindOfIdiot: he did that from his own insecurities... He wanted to feel that he was loved -- and he had people communicate with him to do it. aNewKindOfIdiot: He didn't expect anything like this, however. FlYmOnNiEcHk28: whatever.... my friends sent him emails too.. i am not the only one.....
aNewKindOfIdiot: Oh, so that makes it alright?
aNewKindOfIdiot: if your "friends" all murdered priests, would that make it acceptable?
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: lol..... you crack me up..
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: goodbye
aNewKindOfIdiot: i'm sorry I have to tell bob that he's rejected once again aNewKindOfIdiot: but I'm glad you find humor in his pain
aNewKindOfIdiot: Sadist.
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: okay.. goodnight..
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: i'll pray for you
aNewKindOfIdiot: To a god that would do this to Bob?
FlYmOnNiEcHk28: God didn't do this to him.. he did it to himself FlYmOnNiEcHk28: GOOD BBBBBBYYYYYYYYEEEEEEE
aNewKindOfIdiot: He did not do this to himself.
aNewKindOfIdiot: God punished him for a joke
aNewKindOfIdiot: he turned the crowds against him
aNewKindOfIdiot: now you think that hatred is acceptable..... you make me SICK.
aNewKindOfIdiot: I can't show this to Bob... to know that such hate is projected towards him will certainly push him past the edge. FlYmOnNiEcHk28 signed off at 9:27:19 PM.

I'm obviously aNewKindOfIdiot... Anyways, I know that this is total BS, but it was fun anyways. Write back?

Jesus Christ, You made me look like a complete coward.
I don't know how to take this.
Thanks?
Bob

Bob,

I just got my doorbell rung buy some Jehovah's witnesses. In honor of you and just for the hell of it because I haven't had a good debate about religion in a long time. I sat out in the freezing cold talking to to these people and trying to understand the dribble that came out of there mouths and then just blankly staring at me when I stumped them with one of my perceptions of the same thing but with an atheistic twist was rather amusing. I think they particularly didn't like it when I used a quote from you "The Bible is A book written buy man the same men that held their dicks when they pissed" that just put a hush over the man trying to sell me some his religion. We had a few more exchanges over some nonsensical things then his wife I guess was like IM cold and he's obviously freezing ( I was hardly shivering at all). Then as they walked to there car I referred them to your web site. So hopefully you will have some intresting hate mail from them. Im sure you get this all the time but please post my mail it would be an incredible honor im sorry for any typo's or anything i know they'll be pointed out.

Thanks,
Matt

Of course there is always room for another hot girl's admiration and opinion.
Do you think you could take even one more compliment from the fairer species? (golly, those Goth rocker chicks sure seem to dig you, Bob) well, now that I'm here, I'd like to take the time to expound upon "the Corey phenomenon". once upon a time, Bob (this is, like, junior high) I had a bout of simultaneous, strange, and inexplicable crushes on Robert Smith, Johnny Thunders, and... Corey Haim. a Motley fuckin Crew, don't you think? I don't know if the Corey thing had to do with the lack of remotely intelligent guys in the town I was living in, or what. Maybe I just liked wimpy and oddly effeminate boys at the time.

Whatever. Anyway, I love you baby. You know that. But I have to disagree with your choice for #1 heinous movie. I save this prize for the Corey Haim horror feature- 'fever lake'. Up one night, looking for some good porno on TV (none of that playboy channel softcore crap) I came across this cinematic triumph. Its been seared into my memory ever since. I'd like to give you the plot synopsis. However, its so goddamned contrived and ridiculous- I'm not even going to bother. Save to say that its pointless, laughable, questionable, and did I mention it also "stars" a cast member of 'saved by the bell'. Pretty much says it all, doesn't it?

Now, Corey Haim is an interesting one, bob. Rather androgynous figure, really. Likes him some hair gel, in the movie 'the lost boys' he has a poster of rob Lowe (???) on his wall and wears flamboyantly colored bathrobes as outerwear. At the Corey Haim fanzine I found out that one of Corey's personal ambitions is to win an academy award! Corey has set some mighty high ambitions for himself. Also here I think these quotes will shed some light on why people find him to be of such high intellectual esteem. Its pretty obvious this guy is not only multitalented, but has his shit together too, boy! in more recent news he's plucked his eyebrows and had a dance CD out in Germany. The treat for you is here: from what dive heard of his CD, its pretty powerful stuff, man. Especially the second .wav file, 'livetogether'. apparently, all Corey really wants is for us all to get along. I couldn't help but get all bleary eyed at these particularly uplifting lyrics: "black, white, yellow, and red- each and every kid needs to be fed." damn. More later...

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