Welcome fans!
I know it's been awhile since I've posted a page of fan mail. Maybe there's something wrong with me but I always kinda figured you'd all be more interested in the people who dislike me. BUT you have been emailing me saying "MORE FAN MAIL!" so here's a page of good looking, fun-loving fans with funny stories, questions, praises and pictures.


Hey Bob,

I'm a big fan of your site. I'm stuck in bed because I threw my back out at work. I was just bored surfing around and I found this site that a group of scary people made to help kids find Jesus. They made comic characters of the good and evil people that one might encounter. The Atheist is a goat named Mr. Gruff that wears a wrinkled blue bathrobe and holds a cup of joe, which makes him look more like an unemployed bachelor dude than anything else to me. Beneath the drawing of Mr. Gruff, they put a stern warning: If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood, TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!

You may be moved to try and witness to these poor lost souls yourself, however AVOID TALKING TO THEM!

Under that there's a giraffe creatioin scientist in a lab coat who explains how dinosaurs aren't extinct and where fossils came from. Anyway, this site cracked me up and I thought you might find it entertaining. I don't mind being one atheist in a crowd of christians most of the time, but it sucks when I find something that's hilarious that everyone else is afraid to laugh at.

~Lisa


Dear Bob- I've been contemplating on writing you and telling you how awesome you are, but I didn't really know how to put it. I still really don't, but oh well. Your Satan Salvation comic honestly brought me to tears because I was laughing so fucking hard. I absolutely love it. I must say making Jesus look like a pathetic whimpering dumbass was the greatest idea yet of how He should be portrayed.

Yours truly,
Midget.

Subject: FAVORABLE---FUNNY JPEG FOR BOB-----COMEDY

Greetings to NormalBob!!--Dude---Sir---Your Dark Majesty---Whatever---

I won't go into a long discourse about why I LOVE your site at this time as I know you get a lot of mail. I will just say that like maybe like yourself the best years of my life were wasted chasing the shallow promises religion has to offer.

I could'nt become an atheist even if I wanted to thanks to the intensive programming the backstabbing lizards at the Boston Hairy Kreezna center programmed into my mind since I was 12 and i'm 44! Atheist guys like you have it made. I will also say that a serious inspiration --no bullshit-- is seeing what one man can accomplish with a computer, Dreamweaver, and the internet.


A few days ago you posted p.179 and wrote about the over-amplified bigmouth holy-roller prea- ching prick at the square. I hope he gets a look at the JPEG I am attaching to this e-mail. You should get a decent laugh out of it. I have a lot like it since I work with Paintshop a lot. Enjoy it as it is the least I can do in the fight against religious mind-control. I honestly thank you for your efforts.

A friend anytime--
Randy Wilharm

 


Hello Randy!

Thank you for the free comedy and favorable, funny jpeg! You have done great work with Paintshop! It will be a useful weapon in the fight against religious mind-control.

And fantastic self portrait! Were you on the cover of a magazine? You weren't? It looks like you were!

Wonderful friend,
Bob


Subject: Hi, Bob!

Glad to see you back online again - you've been missed!

I had a funny thing happen to me the other day, and want to share it with you and your readers. I would prefer it, though, if you'd keep my email address off your site - I get too much spam now.


The story:

Let me begin by setting the scene: I'm sitting under a tree, waiting for a bus. It's 90+ degrees outside - hotter in the sun. I'm right at an intersection with a light. No bus in sight, there's a small breeze, so I'm reasonably comfy and in the shade. A small panel van pulls up to the light, which has turned red for them. This van belongs to a radio station: W101.9 or B101.9. Advertising for the station ALL over the thing.

The fellow in the passenger seat, a large black man (normally irrelevant, but wait till you get to the end), rolls down his window and hollers to me, "Hey, sugar, come on over here, I've got something for you!" As he's calling to me, he holds up a couple of church-fan type fans (the kind with the flat wooden handles, stapled to a 10" by 10" square of posterboard - you all know the type). He's wanting to help me keep cool, as well as spread the word about his radio station.

Well, I'm pretty comfy at the moment. I'd have to A) get up and then B) walk into the sun to get the fans. After getting back to my seat on the ground, I'd then have to C) fan myself. I holler back, "no thanks! I'm in the shade, and I have a nice breeze here. I'm fine, thanks!" To which the man says, "but it's hot out here, aren't you..." trailing off as his mind suddenly changes gear. "Are you saved, sugar? Is your soul saved?" I called back, "Soul? What soul?"

This man - this BIG, burly black man, who could probably pound me into jelly without breaking into a sweat, gets scared. His eyes get the size of saucers, he starts sputtering and starts to roll his window up. He says, "you just stay out there!" - more sputters - "You know you're goin' to " stops as the van is pulling away *quickly*, and he rolls up his window the rest of the way.

I laughed SO hard! I don't think I stopped chuckling over it for a minute or two after he was gone, and I was alone again! I'm still chuckling over it as I'm typing this!

Regards,
Becca Putman



Hi Bob,

I've been a fan of yours for a few months, when a good friend of mine showed me your site. I think it's wonderful! I always check your site every day to see if you've added something new. Obviously, I am an atheist as well. I pretty much have been all my life, though I didn't know the word for it when I was young. I've been raised in Texas--so there's not exactly the most open-minded people around here. Anyway, all my life I never really put much stock into God or an afterlife or all the other things my family seemed so keen on. I refused to go to church once I was old enough (Sunday school Pre-K, ugh)--and oddly enough, no one in my family made a fuss about it. In fact, it seemed perfectly fine with them for my somewhat morbid obsession with books on cannibals, murderers, and other things. But, oddly enough, once I used the "A-word" to describe myself about a year ago, my mother went completely Nazi on me--as though she had never thought my disinterest in God would mean I did not believe in Him! Luckily, I moved out with a best friend soon afterwards (she's the one who showed me your site).

I shouldn't bore you with all of this though, I simply wished to e-mail to you tell you how much I enjoy your site and that I'll be ordering the Jesus Dress-Up magnets soon. I hope you keep up the good work!

By the way, I'm attaching a couple pictures of myself, taken last Halloween when I dressed up as Indiana Jones.

Raechel (pronounced like Rachel, but spelled better)

P.S. You look very nice in your devil costume!!

Hi Bob. I was thinking of putting HATE MAIL into the subject of this email, in a desperate attempt to get you to notice it, but I thought better of it. Truth is, I need help, and being a big fan of your site, I thought I'd turn to you, since you're very intelligent and seem like a compassionate man. I'm not an atheist. I don't really have beliefs, because I don't know what to believe. I wasn't raised to be christian, but I was dragged to church a few times when I was young. I chose not to believe, because it never made sense to me, much like you. I can't say this email is solely about god, because it's not. However, sometimes I do wish I could believe. I look for reasons to believe, just so I can hate "him". I know that's not the right thing to do...


Perry didn't include a picture so I was forced to include one myself.
I'm not gonna say I have a rough life, even though my childhood was pretty shitty. I'm a stronger person because of it, but for some reason, if there is a god up there, he decided to make me the "nice guy". The one who always finishes last. The one who always worries about someone else before himself.

I tend to get myself into messes that I can't clean up, because there's alot of people out there who like to take advantage of a kind heart. Sometimes I think about it, and wonder if believing in god and letting jesus into my heart would take a load off my back (I've been giving myself stress headaches almost every day for nearly six months). I wonder if I'd just plain feel better. But then again, that's silly. It's false comfort. I've probably had alot more things to tell/ask you. But I most likely forgot. I've been having a rough time.

Anyway, I hope you respond to my email, or at least read it. I turned to you because you think for yourself, and see with eyes unclouded by gods and such. Thanks for your time, and I hope to hear from you.

Perry.


Perry, I know where you're at.
Fact is, make-believing to believe in it all isn't an option. It just doesn't work. what happens is, the truth that you know lingers back there like a rotting egg and the more you ignore it the stinkier it gets. It doesn't just go away and get better.

What you need to do is start fixing things for yourself. Some of the best things to do is start expressing yourself creatively and doing what ever else you can to make yourself a better person. Sounds like fucking typical advice I know, but it works.


You want to know what I did when I was in your shoes? I said fuck it, shaved some of my head, dyed the rest green, started drawing and writing more about what I believed no matter how much it sucked, and I threw out everything I was wasting my time with before (mainly watching television). It was just a matter of DOING SOMETHING! That's what makes people feel good, when they're doing something. It may be work, and it may take effort and you may even fail at it when you first start out but it makes you feel better about yourself and life, and it's taking control.

I hope I said something of value to you. It's not an easy place to be, but you have every power to change it.

Bob


Hi Bob, I just want to thank you for responding to my email, and thanks for the help. It's probably the same thing everyone else has told me, but I guess I didn't pay attention to them. Haha, I guess I look up to you more than them. Kinda weird how I can confide in a total stranger...

But seriously, you did help. I started drawing again, started playing guitar more often, got back into my violent video games (very good way to release agression), and I started living for myself. I stopped doing things I felt I had to do, and started doing things I want to do..


I'm only 18, and my mother still tries to rule me with an iron fist, but I'm doing what I can to be my own man. Hey that rhymes. Once again, there's probably alot more I wanted to say, or ask... But I'm forgetful sometimes. Especially when I'm emailing somebody as FUCKING AWESOME as yourself.

If I haven't told you already, I'm a huge fan of the site. My girlfriend ordered two Jesus Dress-Up magnets, one for me and one for her, and she's a Catholic! (she sometimes questions her own faith... but probably not so much until she met me) I must say, I read the entire Satan's Salvation comic series in two nights, and almost died laughing. I also go into the chat thingie every once in a while, but nobody's ever there.

Ha, I'm probably rambling... I just get excited and nervous when I email people I look up to. Anyway, thank you again for your help. Maybe I can send you some of my drawings? They're not spectacular, nowhere near your skill level, but I think I'm pretty good. It'd be really cool if we could keep in touch.

I can't figure out how to end this without seeming like a stalker... Haha.
A sincere friend,
Perry.


Hi Bob,

I emailed you several months ago, testifying as to how Jesusdressup.com changed my life. You probably don't remember... you asked me to send you a picture, but at the time I had just moved, didn't have any pix readily available, scanner was busted, whatever.

Anyhoo, I moved back to St. Louis after many years away, and was shocked! and appalled! at the plethora of X-ians here. Shudder. That's right: Missouri, home of the anti-gay bigots. Makes me so proud.

So at my new job, I mentioned to one of my co-workers that I was looking for a chiropractor. Now, you hafta understand, I'm not a big fan of alternative medicine and yadda yadda yadda, but I do have some low-key chronic back pain (big boobs, they suck) and I discovered that my new insurance paid for chiropractic care, so I figured, what the hey.

So I asked Co-worker if she knew of anyone in the area. Well, she raved on and on about this woman who was "so wonderful" and "so caring," and the staff was "just like a family," etc. In retrospect it DOES sound like the Jim Jones family, but hey, my back was hurtin' and I figured, OK, try it out, what can it hurt? So I made an appointment and got my med records sent over.

On the appointed day, I drove out to the chiroquacktor. When I arrived, the waiting room was empty, as was the receptionist's desk. However, it was about 6:00 p.m. and I was half an hour early, and I figured, they had probably run out to get a bite to eat or something. As I waited, I began looking around the waiting room.

First thing I noticed was a stack of spine pamphlets. Fine. However, next to that stack was a second stack of tracts entitled "Jesus Died For Your Sins." Henh? I'm immediately suspicious. I scan the contents of the bulletin board on the wall. Between the ads for a homeopath and an aromatherapist is a flyer advertising a "Jesus Youth Revival." Of course, I'm hoping this is simply a testimonial written by a Mexican guy espousing the benefits of Botox, but alas, no. Now I'm REALLY suspicious. I look over in the corner and there it is... The Motherlode. Sitting by a stack of "Christian Yellow Pages" is a Gideon's Bible. In a "doctor's" office. WTF???

I'm not proud of what I did next, which is: I basely turned tail and fled. Do I want someone like that within 50 feet of my spine? I think not. And you know, the more I thought about it, the more pissed off I got. I mean, I'm a dyed-in-the-wool atheist, so it was offensive enough to me personally, but what if I had been a devout Jew? Or Muslim? Or Sikh? Or whatever? You go in to receive medical treatment and you get accosted with that kind of shite? I'll just take some fuckin' Motrin, thanks.

Next day, I go in to work. Co-worker eagerly greets me. "Well, how was it?" "Fine," I answer. "Did you like her? Isn't she nice??" "Yep," I say tersely. "Well, what did she say? Are you gonna go back?" Finally I couldn't stand it anymore, and I'm like, "Look, I'll be honest with you, I took one look at all that offensive X-ian shit in the waiting room, and I left." Her response (in a very subdued voice): "Oh." End Of Discussion.

I'm all for being pleasant to your co-workers, because you have to spend 8 hours a day with them, and why be purposely unpleasant when it's unnecessary, but CHRIST! DON'T try to indoctrinate me into your Zombie Voodoo Cannibal religion!!

Oh by the way, she's in her fifties and loves the color purple and horsies and puppies. What more do you need to know? Can you say "arrested mental development"?

Anyway, on the bright side, I'm so grateful for your web site. Your review of the Mel Gibson flick almost made me spew soda out my nose laughing. Keep up the good work.

I'm attaching a crappy picture from many moons ago.
Much love,
Laurie Bowman

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