I have reviewed one of your little paper brochures. It begins by "IS GOD REAL?" Then on the second page it continues "Gee, lemme think... um NO!". To be honest one of the phrases in the brochure was quite funny - something about being lonely and heaving imaginary friend in the sky makes you feel less lonely... :-) So I was curious and looked at your web page.
I am a Christian but feel like I am one step away from leaving the church and three steps away from going back to my faith. I think I can relate to you in your desire to dismiss the idea of God's existence. to be honest a lot of Christians speak of things they do not really understand - but so do they rest of the people. I am not sure why would a "Universal God" would act so locally and why "His" power is, at times, limited and how can he exist with all the crap that goes on day by day. Surely the formula "'Perfect Loving God' and 'Screwed up World' = 'Truth'" is not easily understood, in fact it is simply logically unsound argument. You might as well say that no fish can swim. But one thing for sure that is Christianity in its uniqueness offers the picture of God himself becoming a man to be subjected to all these "screwed up worldly events."
In fact there was a time (according to the gospels) when Jesus said "my God my God why have you forsaken me?" I do not know whether it was that Jesus felt forsaken or he really was, but the anguish can be seen, if desired, in either case.
i am not trying to get you "saved", or to convince you of anything - quite frankly I can hardly go half of day without feeling intense hate towards "God", or whatever is outhere and is responsible for all the mess.
You, or anybody else, have a value whether you believe in God or not. Whether you confirm to pattern of "the right religion or now" and ofcouse you are free to act in anyway you wish. Also everybody has a right to disagree and to uphold what they believe.