
God Ate My Balls
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There comes a point
in every child's life when it is necessary to break the hearts
of his or her parents. There are some who do it declaring their
attraction to the same sex, those who team up with a sibling and
shoot them whilst they sleep, and others who simply prefer show
tunes and soft-shoe to Bob Segar and popular sports. For me it
was a lack of belief in all that my parents held sacred: Corey
Feldman. No wait, I mean God!
Valentine's Day is for Breaking the Hearts of Loved Ones
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My parents are devout
Christians, important figures in their church and selfless missionaries
to the small town in which they live. I on the other hand taunt
Christ and those who follow Him. Go figure.
Sure they help others
by opening their hearts and home to those in need, but I help people
laugh... at Christ!
I have always known that
eventually my parents would find out about my site. I knew that
they'd be disappointed and upset, but I also knew that they'd listen
to me and understand as they always have. Relatives of mine (outside
of immediate family) were beginning to contact me with their complaints,
but my mom and dad were my only concern. |
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I took it upon myself
to initially inform my parents of what I'd gone through in the last
several years and where I stood presently. I believe that my explanation
went something like this: "I no longer believe in God. I have a
web site where I express my Atheist beliefs in great detail. I incorporate
my sense of humor and my art, while encouraging audience participation,
all in the name of fun and truth."
I went on to explain,
"There are those who are offended and others who are fans. I do
not think that either you nor dad should ever go to the site ever
in a million years at all ever ever because you might not be amused.
OK?"
Trusting my judgment
they were content with my explanation and continued to love me as
they always had (this information will be a great disappointment
to some). Communicating with those I care about has always been
a strong point of mine despite how robotic it might have just sounded.
This however is not good enough for a certain Christian individual
that should remain nameless (but will not: Nikki Baker "Tattletale
for God"). |
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Nikki
Baker
Yes, I realize it's an alias.
It's all I got! |
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It was Valentines
Day 2002 that this special someone took it upon herself (himself?)
to do what was best for me, my parents and our family. She ran to
my parents and told on me!
Her compassion was as follows:
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Shortly
after receiving this message of Christian love my parents forwarded
the letter to me which I immediately followed up with a phone call
to them. It will be a great disappointment to "Nikki" that this
did not ruin my relationship with my folks, nor have my Atheist
beliefs wavered in any way, and of course the site shall live on
until I no longer feel creative. I admit that it did stifle my creativity
for a spell which is precisely the reason that I am writing this
here now.
I once thought
that it was liberating to dye my hair green, denounce God and profess
a strong Atheist viewpoint, but those things are nothing compared
to telling those you love that which will break their hearts...
and then moving onward.
Oh, by
the way, how was your Valentine's Day? |
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