The Christina Masters files

She just goes on and on and on and on...

Her emails will be in blue while mine are in black and white.

A lot has changed in the world of Sperm Boy. Never fear ladies, he's still good looking! Sperm Boy got a jacket! Yes yes! He is wearing the black version of his Sperm Boy costume AND a new leather jacket!

It's a cool rainy day here and his black bag is no where to be seen!? The black bag that I'm sure contains his white outfit. Is it safe somewhere... or could it be at her house? No, that's not it. She just now wrote down her phone number for you.
Oh Sperm Boy, who will be the soil to your seed?

You didn't lose that black bag that I know holds your signature cream colored outfit did you? I don't know if I could handle that today. I do not know if anybody could take such news. I am just making myself believe that it is safely stored away in a storage locker somewhere. Perhaps at the bus station.... I must remain calm.

When I see you in your black Sperm Boy uniform I do not feel as safe... like a flower has been swiped from my garden.

You are aware of me now aren't you Sperm Boy?

I saw you glancing over your shoulder at me after she gave her number to you and walked away. You wanted me to see that didn't you? You're trying to hurt me aren't you Sperm Boy? It is no longer about finding love, now it is about hurting me isn't it.

And why is it that when she pulled out her cell phone to enter your number you shook your head and explained something while you smiled? Then she put her cell phone away with a confuse look on her face. Do you not have a phone Sperm Boy? Is this why Venessa and I see you across the street at the pay phone? Is there no phone number that suits you Sperm Boy?

If anybody has a picture of Sperm Boy in his new jacket I need your help! Send it to me immediately!

Down the counter from me you sit, picking and choosing who will be next. Who will know true love and who will not. Whose rainy day today will see the sunshine of your approach?

Honestly, I don't like Sperm Boy in a jacket. It's just not working for me I'm afraid. Lose the jacket Sperm Boy. Lose the jacket. My Sperm Boy dresses in white up to the chin and on top of the head. Not then a jacket. No, not that.

I wish that you were here today Venessa. You would be able to take these pictures better than I. I blame you Venessa. Damn you Nessa. Damn you to hell.

But I do pray that your bag is safe. I pray that it is locked up where only you have the key. Oh to God this I pray.

I am enjoying the left column sperm-boy segments... I almost want to show up and get my picture taken with him... you are going to make him into a celebrity! :)

BTW, found a white knit sperm-boy hat while I was in Vegas this weekend - but one had a purple flower embroidered on it and the other a strawberry - making it a bit to feminine, in my opinion, for the high devious one. Still looking, however.... even just for you to wear to the tea shop, if you ever see him again... maybe with a white sweater?? That would be such a setup... :)

So I was cruising the net, and I found out just how much work you had putting into finding S_boy again.... it makes so much more sense too me now... I had no idea why you were so attached...

....what a hero he was to you, after all (by the way, whose the girl? should I be jealous??)

I think you can stop moving the public to such acts of grief... you have really touched that, and I admire the capability you have of doing so.... but, my dear... its misplaced...

Because yesterday... I got this in the mail...

Yeah , yeah... I know... I told you I wasn't very creative.... so lay off.. Its 5:30 AM... I'd better hit the rack.....Goodnight!

Psyche Dress Up paid for & copyrighted by Psyche © 2003


Approval? You have my approval and my total admiration - I LOVE it! puuurrrrfect!!

Subject: NOT the uberchristian Christina Masters

I was very astoundingly bored just now, and decided to search for my name on google and see what came up. Your Christina Masters hate mail page popped up.

I am afraid and think I will go stick my head into a vat of boron now. And then implode.

Thankyou for your time.
The REAL Christina Masters

“...please respond to me...Or do your athiest beliefs belive it is 'scary to write to a child of God'.

I'm not going to try and be hateful by what I'm fixing to say, but I was looking some things up on the Net and I accidentally came across your website. AND I WAS VERY DISPLEASED. First of all, let me introduce myself.

My name is Christina Master and I'm 17 years old. Anyways. When I came across your website, I noticed you had made a "devout athiest" website who couldn't keep his snide, crude, and hateful remarks to himself. And I most certainly DID NOT agree or like that dress of Jesus game and comic you had posted on there. That was completly uncalled for. If you want to know why I am so incredibally offened at this, it is because I am a firm believer and follower of a good man named Jesus Christ. Now, I forgive you for the things I just saw as the Lord says to forgive 70 x 70. (4,900 times a day.) How could you hear such wonderful things about a man and have such hatred for Him as I saw on ! that site? Can't you see what's in front of your own face?

Who do you think created all this? Do you just think the earth came together as an accident. let me tell you something. God so loved the world that He gave His only Son and whoever believes in Him, shall not perish but have an everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. For he who believes is Not condemned, but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the nam of Gods only son. John 3:16-18 And that mans name is JESUS CHRIST. I hope you recieve this message, and when you do, please respond to me. Or do your athiest beliefs belive it is "scary to write to a child of God". I'll be looking forward to hearing something from you soon.

Thanx. And may you find God,
Christina Masters

Okay, I was a bit scared at first to respond to a child of God, I admit it. It's intimidating to have to confront somebody with all the powers of God behind them. You recognized this early on so I know you understand.

Now at 17 years of age I'm sure that the pretty tales of Adam & Eve, the horrendous monster Satan and the handsome miracle worker Jesus Christ all sound entirely plausible. However, for an adult like me I can no longer fathom or even smile politely at such concepts anymore.

In fact, I am at the point of bewilderment when I see a grown adult (outside of mental institution facilities) who so readily accepts all of the Bible's stories as fact.

I am delighted that you saw my comic strip. I am dying to hear a believers critique of it. It's a comic that I am extremely proud of but I've yet to hear any opposition to it. Would you care to elaborate on your review any?

Hell, ya know it wasn't at all scary replying to your email! It's just like emailing any regular human being. I'm serious! Thank you for making me feel comfortable about replying to you. It was actually a pleasure!


...the story of Adam and Eve isn't what causes me to believe this. It's the fact that God is the truth.”

Hi. It's me again. You know, the 17 year old Christian girl named Christina Masters. First off, I want to thank you for replying to me so soon. To be honest I really wasn't expecting you to reply to me. I figured you just ignore me and go on about your business like alot of people do when they get emails like mine. But thank you for actually taking your time to respond.

Now, you said that for a 17 year old, these "fairy tales" might sound really appealing and nice to have something so innocent to believe in although "fairy tales" is exactly what God is. I don't understand why you think or even believe that. What you say doesn't sound a bit of real. And I also don't understand why you believe in Satan but don't believe in God. And if you don't believe in God, then why did you waste your time creating something so against Him? And the story of Adam and Eve isn't what causes me to believe this. It's the fact that God is the truth. There really is a God and he created everything that you see in front of your face. Do you think that it is possible for, let's say, 48 different people to agree on the exact same thing? Well of course not. Everyone has a different belief or a different opinion. Well do you think that it would be possible for 48 people to agree on the exact same thing if they lived in totally different time periods? Well that would be completely impossible. But the 48 writers of the Bible all agree on the exact same thing. And guess what, they all lived in different time periods. You know why they agree? B/c they were told what to write by God Himself. Maybe you don't believe in God b/c you can't see him. But you believe that wind exists don't you? Why you can't see wind either, but you can feel it can't you? Same thing with God. You may not be able to see him, but you can feel Him if your not afraid to have a new feeling in your life. ! So why not believe in Him? Now, no one is telling you to go and get religion b/c you don''t have to get religion to believe.

You just have to believe that He is real and His son is real and admit that you're not perfect but you believe that His son did die on the cross for us so that we could one day be with God. Just tell God that from the bottom of your heart and He'll hear you. And besides look at it this way. You can believe in God and accept Him and go to Heaven and spend eternity with Him "if He's real" (and He is) or if He's "not real" then you have nothing to loose. Well, please right back.

I'm really looking forward to seeing your response soon.

Until then, may you walk in the faith of the Lord,
Christina Masters
P.S. (Left Behind 1 and 2 are actually really good movies!)

What I'm noticing now about you is a kind of blanket ignorance that seems to be a reoccurring characteristic of your thought process. You've made so many statements in your latest email that have stunned me with how grotesquely thoughtless you are.

#1) I don't believe that Satan exists either. God, Satan, heaven and hell are all ideas thought up in the heads of human beings I assure you. Did you assume that I believe in Satan because I dress up as him? Is that what you think of the guys who dress up as Santa too?

#2) Making a Dress Up page of someone's god isn't evidence that I believe in Him. I made the silly game because I am so frightfully sure that he does NOT exist at all! You see, I'm not against Him I just don't think He is real. The way your mind works is so backwards.

#3) I never said that the story of Adam & Eve was the reason you believed. You believe in spite of the story! It's incredible! Personally I think the story of Adam & Eve is reason enough not to believe the whole goddamned thing!

#4) You said that the reason you believe that God exists is because "God is truth". That's no reason! It is also not enough reason to say everything on earth was created by God-so there's your proof. Christina, in case you didn't get taught this already in grade school there are logical, scientific explanations for why things exist and none of those scientific facts involve the creature you call God.

#5) I absolutely think it's possible for 48 people to agree on the exact same thing. If everyone hears the same story again and again they will all agree on how it goes. I betcha I could find 48 different people (from different time periods) who all agree on how the story of The 3 Bears goes. That does not make it true Christina. Christ, did you say you were 17 or 7?

#8) The reason that I don't believe in it all is because the Red Sea did not ever part in two, a bush that is lit on fire will not talk, and neither will a snake, the sky, a dog or a seven headed baby eating dragon. Christina, if it sounds like bullshit, reeks of bullshit and is proved to be bullshit then... well you know.

#9) You just said that the Left Behind movies are, and I quote: "Really good". That, Christina, is the grandest of all the ill conceived beliefs you possess. Any shred of respect I may have had for you before #9 has been pulverized beyond recognition by your "thumbs up" to the Left Behind series.

Please just accept my "you're only 17" diagnosis and be done with this. I fear that next you'll recommend the movie Maid In Manhattan to me and I don't think I could handle such a blow at this particular point and time.


“did you know that this Santa Clause guy was once actually a real person? Well, he's dead now but he really once was. His name was Khristopher Kringle...that is until it was changed to Santa Clause. And in case you want to know,although you probably don't but you're going to hear it anyway, the reason he changed his name is b/c the law enforcement or whoever it was way back in the day was after him fo! r not only breaking into people's homes, but also for illegally distributing items they did not personally approve of.

Dear bob, Like I said before, thanx for replying to me so soon. I honestly really wasn't expecting you yo reply to me so soon...especially after the last two emails I've sent you. But I'm really glad you did. : )

In your last email you said that scientists have already discovered why and how the world works and was created. Now, I don't know about you, but this "Big Bang Theory" doesn't sound like a bit of truth to me. It just sounds like someone wanted a reason and that was the only "logical" one left to them. And in case you didn't know, the Bible had already explained these things hundreds and thousands of years before scientists ever "discovered" them. You said that you didn't believe in Satan and Hell or God and Heaven, and that it was just like believing in Santa Clause. Well, did you know that this Santa Clause guy was once actually a real person? Well, he's dead now but he really once was. His name was Khristopher Kringle...that is until it was changed to Santa Clause. And in case you want to know,although you probably don't but you're going to hear it anyway, the reason he changed his name is b/c the law enforcement or whoever it was way back in the day was after him fo! r not only breaking into people's homes, but also for illegally distributing items they did not personally approve of. Anyway, God is truth and He is real and so is Satan (unfortunately), and just so you know, even Santa once was real. And other fascinating stories that are even considered sweet bedtime stories are real...such as Robin Hood and the Joan of Arc. Those are two "stories that I know are in fact true.

So why can't you except that god is real and true? Well, before I go,although you'll probably be relieved, I have one question. WHY IS THE REASON THAT YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD? I mean, your website says that you once did but that's all. So, please be honest and tell me why and what brought you to believe that God isn't real. And "because I just don't" , "and it doesn't sound believable" don't qualify as answers. I mean SOMETHING brought you to change your mind about Him. What was it? Please reply soon. I'll really be looking forward to seeing your next message, thats if I get one. Until then, I'll be praying for you.

Sincerely, Christina Masters - the 17 year old

“I'm sorry if I upset by my previous email (which I think I did) b/c you didn't email me back.

Dear Bob,

I realize that you are in fact a very devout stubborn athiest (unfortunately). And more than likely there is nothing I can say or do to change that. Knowing this I have just one question for you. And please be honest with your reply. I would really like to know. Do you consider yourself a good person? Well, that's it. Please respond to me. And I'm sorry if I upset by my previous email (which I think I did) b/c you didn't email me back. But oh well. It it in fact just an email. No biggie. Well, please respond soon and I will be looking forward to seeing it. Thanx.

Sincerely, Christina Masters

Hello Christina,

No no no, I was not upset by your previous email. What happened is you just went on and on about how Santa was a burglar who broke into people's homes and died, and this somehow having something to do with Jesus being real, saying the Bible has explained the things science is now explaining, Robin Hood and Joan of Arc being sweet bedtime stories and I couldn't keep up with you! I just wrote you off as being too off the wall to communicate with on any normal level. I wasn't upset in the least. You just succeeded in writing the first email that ever gave me an ear ache.

But now to your question; Do I consider myself a good person? Jesus Christ! Absolutely!

You have to keep in mind Christina that I view your beliefs to be no more absurd and destructive than any other cult out there. Like, you know how you feel about David Koresch? Or that Applegate guy and the mass suicides he did with his members so that they could be with the space gods in outer space? Or any group you'd consider a cult. To me your religion is just as bad. I think that people who believe life is meant to be spent worshipping an invisible god in the sky, gather to sing Him songs and do His bidding are harming others. Yes! I think it is bad for people to live that way, in a bubble, sheltering themselves from other ideas and beliefs.

I think that exposing the lie you live is a good thing and therefore makes me a good person! You see?

I know that when you look at the things you believe you'll see where I'm coming from. Thank you for your question!


Have you ever saw something that you really wanted?”

Bob, Thanx for replying to me. You seem like a really nice guy when you get down to it. Anyway. I have some more questions for you if you'll answer them for me. When you replied to my last message you said "Absolutely!" to my questioning if you considered yourself a good person.

Well, here are my other questions:
1. Have you ever lied?
2. Have you ever stolen anything? Even if it was something small?
3. Have you ever saw something that you really wanted?
4. Have you ever saw someone that you found very attractive and wanted to be with them?
5. Have you ever done anything your parents have told you not to?

Those are my questions for you. And if you could, please be honest about your answers.

I would really appreciate it. Oh you said that Christianity was sort of like a cult. I understand where your coming from, but in a different sense I think. Christianity is like a club where all the members believe the same thing and there are alot of members. But we're not harmful. You said that your trying to make me realize how ignorant believing in an "invisible god" is. But this "invisible god" isn't just a god, He's the ONE AND ONLY God and Creator of all things. There's something I'd like to tell you. For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. - 1 Corinthians 1:18 You see, some people are told that putting your faith in Jesus Christ and getting saved will bring you happiness, love, fortune, etc... and when someone gets saved to see if it's what all these Christians say it is, there let down and disappointed. Although those are fruits, it's exactly how Jesus said it would be. You'll go through trials, tribulations, persecutions, being laughed at etc.Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. But rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way, they persecuted the prophets who were before you. - Matthew 5:11-13 Well, gotta go, talk to you

later, Bye. Sincerely, Christina Masters
P.S. Please answer my questions truthfully and as soon as possible.

Cool Christina, I love questionnaires! I love them because I take great care to answer questions like these truthfully... otherwise what's the point, ya know?

1. I used to lie. I'm very proud to say that because part of my commitment to being honest with myself (converting to atheism) was being honest (to the point of offending) with everyone else. I take great care in my every day life not to lie. There have even been times when I've lied during a story or for some other reason and then moments later (sometimes hours or even a day) I go to the person and tell them the truth. It's something I take very seriously.

2. Have I ever stolen anything? Of course! Back in high school I'd done my share of shoplifting. Since my teens I've never stolen anything. There's nothing I really want that badly that I can't buy. Most of my wardrobe is thrift, I eat like a bird, no car, no cable, and my comp is still in the stone age. I've been waiting for the Jesus Dress Up fridge magnets to make me a bundle then I can go buy the expensive things I've been doin' without... like sacrilegious tattoos! Isn't that poetic?

3. Have I ever saw something I really wanted? No! Absolutely not! I've never seen anything that I wanted!

Heh heh, I made my friend laugh answering your question like that. Okay, yes I have coveted. I know that it's doomed me to an infinity of burning hell fire but dammit, it's the truth. Curse you question number one! Curse the day you were ever conceived!

4. Have I ever saw someone that I found very attractive and wanted to be with them? What do you mean "be" with them? Like sexy things? Answer: yes. Next question.

5. Have I ever done anything that parents told me not to do? Oh yes. Jesus Dress Up for one! I didn't do my homework, I continued to draw naked girls against their will, I ran away to Hollywood,... hmm, I'm havin trouble thinking of more, but you get the picture. The answer is yes.

Now what disturbs me is that I don't think you really care about these answers except to for the reasons that you can now call me a sinner. That makes me sad. Here I go and put all of this work into answering your questions the best I can just so you can say "Ha HA! He has sinned and he's admitting it!" Please don't do that to me Christina. I'm trusting you.

Here's a question for you now. Did you know that every cult thinks that what they do isn't harmful and that their god is the one true God? It's true! People in cults aren't there thinking that their god is second, third or tenth best. They think their god is the ONE AND ONLY too! And they write it in all caps like that as well! Just like you do! Honest! They quote verses from their book, sing songs to the sky, chant, pray and answer every question the way they've been told to just like you.

If it sounds like a cult, looks like a cult and unbelievable like a cult, it's a cult. Sorry Christina, just more of that truth thing I promised to myself.


Sorry it has taken me so long to answer to your reply but I had to go to Arkansas for a family emergency.”

Bob, Hi! It's Christina again. Sorry it has taken me so long to answer to your reply but I had to go to Arkansas for a family emergency. No about your email. I won't call you a sinner like you asked but I will say this.

Everyone has sinned. That means me that means you that means everyone that walks this earth. And in order to get to Heaven you must live a perfect life. Since no one is perfect this would be impossible. God knew that s He sent His son Jesus Christ to earth to live a perfect life and then die for OUR sins. Sins which He didn't committ. JUST so we could go to Heaven. And all we have to do to accept that free precious gift is to admitt that we are sinners and that Jesus did die on the cross for our sins and believe that Jesus is Lord and sincerely ask for forgiveness of our sins from our heart. And you will be saved. That's all you have to do.

Now, if you were judged by God's standards would you be innocent or guilty? I don't know about your cult theo! ry but I'm sure you do so lets just eave all these cult things out of the picture because I'm sure you know what you're talking about and I really don't live to argue with you about whether Christianity is a cult or not because that's just kind of pointless. But oh well. Well, gotta go. Please email me back and I will be looking forward to seeing your reply.

Sincerely, Christina Masters

You're wrong. The point that Christianity is a cult is THE most important thing. Ignoring it is dangerous because cults play with your mind.

I don't believe that God exists Christina. Why are you ignoring me when I say that? That's such a "cult member" thing to do. You just go on and on while ignoring what I say. It is a cult, no different than any religion asking me to worship their God.

Listen to me Christina. I DON'T BELIEVE GOD EVEN EXISTS! So stop telling me what He says and teaches. He's not real!

Do you understand?


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