 |
|
|
Sperm
Boy,
now you have gone.
By
Normal Bob Smith
© 2003
|
It
has been months since your last sighting and I know that it is because
of me and my behavior. I know that your disappearance is a result
of my overbearing interest in you.
I can
sit here and make believe you are replaceable. I mean, who needs
you? There are others... like this guy!
But
who am I kidding? I am fooling no one. None are as good as you.
None fill that void you have left. And no one else has a big black
bag with them everywhere they go. People are not so easily interchangeable.
The irreplaceable Sperm Boy
| Only
you had that Sperm Boy smile, and a winter stocking cap that
you would wear indoors... even on really hot days. |
 |
Only you had the courage to wear a turtleneck sweater with a matching
knitted skull cap 5 days in a row... without any consideration for
the weather.
You conceived
the idea of returning to the exact same building every single day
to use the same lines to pick up girls. You dared to be more handsome
than anybody else, then rub it in our faces. You, Sperm Boy stole
our hearts.
Where
have you gone Sperm Boy? Did you find love? Did you plant your seed
then abandon the garden? Perhaps you could be somewhere now watching
me? But no. Deep in the pit of my stomach I know that you are now
probably a millionaire super model somewhere in Paris France.
Do you
remember that day I saw you in your black outfit? You looked so
lost, yet you stuck with it for the whole day.
And remember that day when we had the blizzard that was in the top
5 blizzards in New York's history and you still walked around in
that same outfit without even a jacket? It was your handsomeness
that kept you warm that day... that and a knitted cap.
You spent
your days collecting phone numbers, your evenings going through
your pocket change to make calls from pay phones, and your nights
making sweet sweet love.
Oh, I'll
carry on... I must! Because I know that one day you'll return and
you will shine victorious. I see you in a new white Sperm Boy tuxedo,
with a white knitted top hat, tails, bow tie and all. You will have
two girls under each arm and you'll be handing out five dollar bills
to everyone you see.
I will
be on the sidelines telling the stranger next to me:
"I knew him when he only had the one outfit. Back when I believed
in heroes and 'Happily Ever Afters".
|
| “do
you believe in satin?” |
Ok um...your whole
jesus dress up thing I really don't care for but im not going
to sit here and call you names because of it...however I do
take offense to it because I was raised a christian and I
strongly believe in Jesus...I do have a question for you,
do you believe in satin? do you worship him? If you could
just answer that and email me back cause im so confused on
most of the things I read on your site.
Thanks Trisha
PrtyGreenEyEs83@aol.com
|
|
Oh Trisha, you're
being so flirtatious with that question! Do I worship satin?
I'd be delighted to answer you that, but first why do you
want to know? Do you have something in mind? I prefer silk
but satin will do nicely too. I'll even worship it if you're
into that sort of thing. That sounds so very very nice. Mmmmmmmm
satin. Thank you for your luscious email Green Eyes. You put
a smile on my face.
All yours,
Bob
|
| “ugh
you are too far away for me hun” |
Ok maybe that wasn't
the answer I was looking for lol but it works I guess um...thanks
for emailing me back and ugh you are too far away for me hun
ok well bye bye
Thanks Trisha
PrtyGreenEyEs83@aol.com
|
|
|
your a sick asshole
Paul Sheldon
PaulSheldon@surfbest.net
|
|
No no no. Once
again this is a total obliteration of the English language.
What you meant to say was "you're a sick asshole". It's an
abbreviation of "you are", as in "YOU ARE the sick asshole!"
It's similar to
the word "I'm" being a combination of the words "I am". Here,
you try this one. Repeat after me: "I'm a sick asshole."
You see?
Now doesn't that make better sense?
Bob
|
|
| “I
don't care to hear your rebuttal” |
Hi Bob,
I came upon your
webpage quite by accident, and just thought I would pray for
you, and send a word from my heart. It is very obvious that
you are very angry inside because of something that has happened
to you during your life. I know nothing I say will change
you, but I pray that God will, in time. I just want to repeat
what many others have stated to you. God loves you very much.
He knows what you think before you think it, and knows the
number of hairs on your head. He created you and gave you
free will. You are allowed to say and feel what you want to,
and also free to choose what you will, but if you choose to
be a rebel, and reject the love of God, you will also reap
what you sow.
I don't care to
hear your rebuttal, and will not come back to this sight to
see it. I will only continue to pray that God will reveal
Himself to you and shower you with His love that is unconditional,
even though you badmouth the very One who died for your sin.
I pray He will soften your heart, to hear His still small
voice inside of you. He created you, and He knows you intimately.
Only He can calm your anger, and change your bitter spirit.
I pray He will cause you to experience His glory, and change
your heart, not for anyone else's sake, but your own. God
bless you with His peace that passes all understanding, and
make His face to shine upon you. I love you with the love
He has placed in my heart. I pray you learn about that kind
of love....it's called agape love.
Praise be to His
Holy Name forever for His mercy that is brand new every morning,
and His love toward you and me.
Forgiven and changed
by His Love
Sherrow46@cs.com
|
|
Sherrow,
I think you'd have
been a better Christian if you hadn't judged and labeled me
(angry, bitter, etc.) but instead humbled yourself enough
to accept any response I might have had. Doing this would
not have effected my atheist beliefs in any way but at least
you wouldn't have so blatantly exposed your reasons for emailing
me.
You've shown that
the love you have for me is as empty and pointless as the
love you believe shines from His face.
That shit messes
with people's heads yo.
Bob
|
|
| “I
am not quite sure why you would want to be so offensive” |
I am not quite
sure why you would want to be so offensive. But then, may
be you don't either.
Darknippon@aol.com
|
|
It's amusing to
me, that's why.
|
| “Ultimately,
respecting people and their beliefs makes for a better
world” |
Well, I think it
sad that you find it 'amusing' mocking a person's faith and
belief. Maybe you are indifferent to others - that I think
is hardly amusing. Ultimately, respecting people and their
beliefs makes for a better world but then, I guess you wouldn't
find that 'amusing.'
Darknippon@aol.com
|
|
Maybe you'll relate
to it better if I put it in this context.
Imagine meeting
a grown adult who still believed in Santa Claus. Would you
respect that person's belief? Or might you at some point mention
to a friend how you did not respect that person's belief?
I think that your
answer to this scenario will tell a lot about you.
Bob
|
| “I
think that there is a difference between expressing your
scepticism” |
I think that there
is a difference between expressing your scepticism, to put
it mildly, and outright hostility shown by mocking a person's
faith. The reality is, as aforesaid, faith. I do not subscribe
to Islam nor, to aspects of secular society; I may comment
on them which may be influenced by my faith, but and here
is the key point: I respect the holders' view and do not try
to denigrate this overtly, as you have done. The aspect of
concern would be a direct harm to others.
I am sure that
you do not mean to be highly offensive and will hopefully
at some juncture act accordingly. You need to understand that
a lot of people find comfort from their faith - some in complete
despair. You also need to know that you analogy with Santa
Claus is more relevant than you intended: my faith tells me
to come to the Lord as a child, you might call it blind faith.
Darknippon@aol.com
|
|
Skepticism is for
those who are unsure.
Perceiving my site
as "highly offensive" means there is a lack of some very basic
humor senses.
And for those whose
comfort in their faith is shattered by my Dress Up page, well
they need to grow up.
|
|
| Subject:
“I LIKE TO ORDER ABOUT
10,000 OF YOUR DRESS - UP MAGNETS” |
Subject: I LIKE
TO ORDER ABOUT 10,000 OF YOUR DRESS - UP MAGNETS
AND SHOVE THEM
UP YOUR ASS. YOU IDIOT. THE FIRE IS WAITING FOR YOU. HA !
HA!
THEGREATMONAC@aol.com
|
|
Presently the magnets
are not available in quantities exceeding 1,000 units. We
apologize for this inconvenience and hope that you will continue
shopping at all of our fine stores.
Your patronage
is appreciated.
Bob
|
|
| “Jesus
Dress Up is offensive.” |
I respect your
ability in art/pc skills, but feel that your Jesus Dress Up
is offensive.
CowboyPhan@aol.com
|
|
Oh go ass-fuck
a rodeo clown you faggot cowboy fuck.
|
|
|
New
Hate Mail
Past
Hate Mail
|
 |
 |
|
