Have I told you lately that “I love you?”
It's true! It took 8 months for me to get my magnets produced (for what I was told would be 8 weeks) , and out of the 400+ people that ordered during that time only 2 of you asked for your money back. Your trust in me is appreciated and hasn't gone unnoticed. Now, every order has been shipped and any orders made will be sent out the very next day.

If you know of any stores in your area that might carry my Jesus Dress Up fridge magnets please email me their contact information and I'll do the best I can to get them on their shelves.

And to show my gratitude here are more sarcastic replies to the people who don't like my site.

Their emails will be in blue while mine are in black and white.
I'm a Philadelphia Police Officer and I just wanted to drop you a line and tell you how unbelievably hysterical myself and the other guys down at the station find you.

During a recent roll-call visit from our illustrious Police Clergy, I accidentally let a 'God is Fake' slip out during his bible thumping. As you can imagine, mad-cap antics ensued. When asked how I could make such 'outrageous comments', I replied with 'Normal Bob Smith told me'. Imagine my surprise when the clergy rep blurted out 'Not him!' before storming out of the room. I guess your reputation has even slipped into the seamy underbelly of the PPD clergy! Well thanks for the laughs and good luck with the magnets. If baking soda cant keep my milk fresh, surely Jesus can, right?

--Eric

Hey Eric, I love this letter! That really happened? Do you think members of the clergy actually KNOW who I am?

That's wonderful! And thanks for the plug. Is there any chance I could have a picture to go with this email when I post it?

Hey Bob, Yeah, I'm afraid it really did happen ;-).Judging by the pained look on the pastor's face when I said your name, I'm positive he mustve heard of you.

Our police clergy is one of the many programs that I still cant believe exists in this day and age. While I'm all for there being programs out there that give my fellow officers comfort in times of need (and a good deal of our officers are what I guess you could deem 'spiritual'), the fact that they push them on us unsolicitated is uncalled for. Hearing about the wonders of one Jesus H. Christ without first seeking them is unconstitutional as far as I'm concerned. I guess the department's stance is 'to hell with all Jews, Muslims, Buddihsts, Agnostics, Atheists, etc--youre onboard with Beardo or tough!'. While I'd love to send you a picture to post w/ the email, one, I dont have one, and two, per departmental guidelines, I cant. Many of our officers have been fired for writing into newspapers, magazines, etc, just stating their opinions. The PPD's take is we cant use our position in anyway that may bring negative attention to the department as a whole. Therefore, whenever I write opinion pieces to the paper (which is quite often), I usually just make up a name. As much as I hate to ask you to do it, id appreciate it when and if you post my first letter, youd just use my first name. It's not that I'm afraid to speak my mind, but it is against our guidelines and I could be fired for it. Being as I'm married with a baby on the way, I kinda need the Job ;-). In any event, sorry about the lengthy e-mail, and I'd like to thank you again for speaking the truth, and giving a voice to those of us who arent able to use their own. Not all cops are close-minded 'pigs' trying to keep society down. Your humor has gotten a lot of us through some hard times, which is more than I could ever say for religion. Thanks again and keep up the good work!

Eric

PS-when you do insert a picture, I've always been partial to Barney Fife, and if thats too cliche, then 'Re-Run' from "Whats Happening?" would suffice! Thanks!
“This is not only sick, but it is really stupid.”

Subject: Quantity Orders

To Bob Smith,
(or whatever your name is)

You really should be ashamed of yourself! This is not only sick, but it is really stupid. You must have a thing against Christianity or something. You really are in need of prayers. For your next project, why don't you come out with a Buddha or Muhammad plaything!

Derwin Beushausen
derwin@krausonline.com


Buddha or Mohammed playthings? Nah. I've researched it and there just isn't as much to gain financially off of those fellas. You see, I'm lookin' to make a profit here Derwin, and when you're livin' in the States like I am there simply isn't anybody as big as Jesus.

Thanks for trying to help out though. Your suggestions are always welcome.

Bob
“You should be ashamed of yourself.”

This site is very offensive. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Mary Vallerie
mvallerie@comcast.net


Explain to me why I'm not.


“He loves you.”

Because you don't understand that He loves you.

Mary Vallerie
mvallerie@comcast.net


Would you consider the suggestion that maybe I don't think that He exists therefore any love He may have for me is "invalid"?


“your belief or disbelief does not change His love for you.”

Of course--however your belief or disbelief does not change His love for you. Just curious--do you think the bible is a book of fiction?

Mary Vallerie
mvallerie@comcast.net


I think that the parts that sound like fiction are fiction. Keep in mind that back in the olden days news was broadcast by word of mouth and gossip. "Hearsay" is what today's judicial system refers to it as, and "hearsay" isn't considered very reliable by most standards.


“What parts sound like fiction to you?”

What about eye witness accounts--aren't they considered realiable? For example eye witness accounts of the resurrection. What parts sound like fiction to you?

Mary Vallerie
mvallerie@comcast.net


When I say "parts that sound like fiction" I am talking about the miracles, magic, dragons, giants, unicorns, talking animals (& plants), spirits, demons, angels, eternal paradise, everlasting hell fire, a god spreading love across the universe, and of course the resurrection of god-man who floated up into the heavens without His feet touching the ground.

Oh yeah, and the adorable satyrs; half boy/half goat characters who dance in the forests with cloven hooves (Isaiah 13:21 -King James Version).

Those parts sound like fiction to me (eye witnesses or no eye witnesses).

Bob

“what is the purpose of our existance here on earth?”

Could you tell me, what is the purpose of our existance here on earth? For every living thing and even the existance of the earth, planets and universe not a mere coincidence, i think.

Shaharuddin
shaharuddin@hcme.com.my


Okay Shaharuddin, I am guessing that without God you see no other meaning to life?

You don't think that life is an enjoyable, adventurous learning experience on its own?
You don't believe that living simply for the purpose of LIVING is enough?
People aren't a good enough reason to wake up every morning and hope for the next day?
Are you saying that if there isn't a God then we are purposeless?

It sounds to me like if you didn't have a God, doing it for yourself wouldn't be reason enough. Am I correct?

Living life is reason enough, and it's far more productive than turning it all over to somebody you're worshipping.

Bob
“How arent you afraid? Im serious, what are you thinking, for what reason?”

Hey you better take your site off. Thats making fun of Jesus. How arent you afraid? Im serious, what are you thinking, for what reason? May God have mercy on you.

- Anonomous

Yev D.
yev@prodigy.net


What reason? I've got a DAMN good reason! You can bet your ass on that! I'm just having trouble remembering it right now, dammit. It's on the tip of my tongue! There's an "s" in it.

Christ, this always happens to me when it's something important. I promise that it's more than just makin' fun of Him, for sure. There's like a wholesome reason too. It just escapes me at the moment.

I'm gonna go flip through a Bible and see if it comes to me. I'll let you know.

Bob
 

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