Lately I've been disappointed with the hate letters comin' in. If you complainers could put a little more thought into your emails I'd really appreciate it. Quite frankly, the fan letters have been been a lot more impressive and interesting. I dunno, just try and get you people's beliefs organized and send me some
Hate Mail I can sink my teeth into.
Thanks.

Their emails will be in blue while mine are in black and white.

11/11/03
T
his morning I was so delighted to receive the email that I did; a fan letter from a teenager in Israel.

You'll have to pardon some of the ignorant questions I ask her. I've gotten emails from people telling me they live in the "Holy Land" and they're referring to Utah or Kentucky. I also have to admit having a stereotype drawn in my head of what your average Israeli teen is like. Autumn here broke that stereotype for me this morning.

I hope you're as interested in her letters as I am. Isn't the Internet wonderful?


Hey there Bob.
I wanted to show you my opinion on your work on this well-designed site.. Well, first thing's first- Your artwork is really good, I absolutly adore your body-building-ladies! Mr. X amuses me in so many levels, ans so do your Dress-ups (HIGHLY ADDICTIVE).

Let me show you an opinion on your site from a bit different piont of view- A Jewish one. I Live in "the holy land", and let me say, here religion and goverment are one, and state laws are based on the jewish religion. Here, we have no choice but to be sworn to religion. We can't get married without doing an entire religious ceramony. So, we may not heil to a dead man (who was actually a jew, damnit) with nails in his hands, but we get our share of stupid rules.. And even though im a jew (not a believer but still), I find your site to be one of the best i have ever come across.

I Normally don't like it when people do what you do, walking to believers and try to show them god is fake. I Mean, I kinda feel sorry for them.. religion makes them feel safe, it is their senctuary. But you have a way for doing these things. I Can tell youre not just trying to piss people off and be provocative, You sound like an intelligent person with a developed sence of humor and for that I respect you.

When I grow up I want to own strong opinons, ans be able to stand up for them while pissing off people like you do. Either that, Or be a super Chick from outer space. Always wanted to join the unholy army, But I guess it's kind of weird if a jewish girl is in an army of catholic school girlz..

Anyway, Youre a very talented person, and a funny guy. I Made some cartoons of you and your site and will send them to you when it is possible. Sorry for any spelling mistakes,

Autumn

Hello there Autumn, I'm happy to hear from you. I have some questions for you.

* When you say you're from the Holy Land, where exactly do you mean?

* How did you stumble across my site?

* I would love to have a picture of you so that I could post your letter with it on my site. Would that be all right?

* How old are you?

I would like you to tell me how the devil falls into your faith. I know it's an odd question, but for some reason right now I'm extremely curious about that. And you have to send me the cartoons that you drew. I'd love to see them.

Thank you for the compliments Autumn. I appreciate them coming from you. I hope to hear from you again soon.

Bob

Thanx for your reply Bob.

And about your questions:

* When I say "the holy land" I mean Israel. It is a country of great meaning in many faiths, As well as the christian belife, if im not mistaking.

* I Actually don't remember how I got to your site. I Think I came across the Jeasus dress-up somewhere and the rest is history.

* In the jewish religion there is no devil. Our faith is based on the fact there is one god and one god only, and no one can match him. Though as a matter of fact the devil does appear in our Bible, in the book Eiov (or how ever im suppose to write it, I think it's Jobe), But some of our people do not believe that book belongs in the bible and denial is running around like hell.

* Well, im 15 yrs old (a young bastard i am) and you, you old hag? :)

The first chance I get, I will send you those cartoons. You inspire me :)

Well I don't have many pictures of myself, but you can have the one attached to this mail, and you can publish it with my mail if you want to. Im quite fladdered you paid any attention to my comments, thank you

Hope to hear from you.

Stav (my real name. That means Autumn in Hebrew, which is of course my prim' language.)

Here is an drawing I made while I had a Yo-yo named Apocalips, it's called "Being weird is not Enough"

And this one ought to spark some controversy.

“The reason I write is because I strongly suspect that your current views are not so much based on true atheism but a deep seated anger toward God”

Dear Bob,

Sorry but I am not interested in buying your magnets. This is the only email address I could find to write to you.

I was initially shocked- no, make that outraged (outraged sounds so pious, don't you think?) by your website. Out of sheer morbid curiosity I read "God Ate My Balls..." and for some inexplicable reason decided I liked you. You are an excellent writer and your art work is unique.

I, too, have struggled all of my life with the concept of God and for years considered myself to be an atheist. However, the whole Big Bang theory hardly sounds any more reasonable (Once upon a time the universe and everything in it was all contained in a big void. Suddenly a mighty explosion occurred and all of the random particles somehow joined forces to form the earth) or evolution (and on the earth were teeny weenie organisms that quickly grew into amoebas who turned into fish, who turned into animals, who turned into people, who learned to build fires and houses and fiber optics. And that, my dear children, is why we now have high speed internet access.) The idea is almost as ridiculous as the notion of God.

The reason I write is because I strongly suspect that your current views are not so much based on true atheism but a deep seated anger toward God. I know a lot of atheists and most of them seem quite content to go along with their lives and leave God alone. You, on the other hand, appear to have declared war with him.

Anyway, if there is any part of you that is still hoping for a divine being, I wanted to suggest you try something else. Mary and the saints (sounds like a 60's rock band, doesn't it.) There is Saint Therese who is said to give those who pray to her a rose as well as her blessings. I did it, out of curiosity, in the dead of winter and the next day, lo and behold, I found a red rose buried just beneath the snow in the parking lot beside my car. This was encouraging but soon forgotten.

Shortly after, my 4 yr. old grand-daughter was in a terrible situation in which I feared for her life. We were separated for a few months and I prayed fervently every night to Mary and asked (specifically) for an army of angels to watch over her while she was away. I was stunned when I was reunited with her and the first words out of her mouth were, "Mammaw, guess what? I saw angels! Lots of pretty angels- everywhere! One of them even looked like you!" She told me later that they stood above her and smiled all of the time.

I realize this could have been a coincidence or perhaps some kind of telepathic thing but it had it's merits. I have tried the St. Therese prayer several times and for some reason a rose always seems to make it's way into my possession. Saint Anthony is also helpful in finding lost things.

I'm not trying to convert you. I'm not even Catholic myself. I just know that these encounters have been the closest things I've experienced to anything divine and thought you might like to try it for yourself.

Good luck with your website.
Sallie Allen
sallieallen@citlink.net


What's so interesting to me is watching people like you act like they can not comprehend evolution. As if you can't see for yourself where things come from and how they've come to be.

Do you believe that Fiber Optics didn't exist fifty years ago but now it does... and God didn't point and make in miraculously appear? Can you follow the path it made to get where it's at today?

Do you see how there once weren't cars? People rode around in horse drawn carriages, and before that it was horseback, and way way before that there was a monkey that slowly but surely went from all four paws touching the ground to using only two. Can you at least accept that those moments happened at one time?

No, we are not fish that turned into people, just as a buggy didn't turn into the Space Shuttle. But I assure you that there is a Space Shuttle and God didn't point and say "Let there be space shuttle." That theory of how the space shuttle came to be is exactly what the cavemen of bible times would have come up with, but you Sallie should know better.

Comprehending how things simply change over time can be difficult at first, but if you're willing to examine things beyond an arm's length it should be all too apparent how they become what they are.

Leaving "God" alone is a mistake many atheists make. I suppose they don't see how the belief encourages ignorance, causing people like you to accept short-cut answers like: "God made it that way." I truly believe that planet earth is not overseen by a god. Defining me as having a deep seated anger towards Him is another fine example of the short-cut answers you've come to rely upon.

What happened to your grand daughter was not a miracle from God, a "telepathic thing" or the virgin Mary and her squad of guardian angels hard at work. It was one of many regular things that occur on our planet every day, prayed for or not.

You are a grand mother and it's clear that you need these sorts of answers for things. Fine. But you are short changing your grand daughter when you fill her head with the explanations you've shared with me in your email. She deserves to know the truths of science, the basics of the food chain, and the non magical reasons for how we got to where we are today.

If you truly loved your grand daughter you'd put aside your superstitions and give her the real answers that'll help her in life to come.

C'mon Sallie, you know I'm right.
Bob

“You want to dress up someone-try someone who isnšt the Holy Son of God-like... Bob Smith.”

Dear Bob,

I must tell you that your site is one of the most offensive to my Lord and Savior that I have ever seen. You are depicting the Savior of the world as a cartoon like character to be made fun of.

You want to dress up someone-try someone who isnšt the Holy Son of God-like Bill Clinton or maybe even Bob Smith.

Sincerely,
Karla Neumann
Preschool Director
St. Paul Christian Preschool


Your wish is my command!
Enjoy the Bob Smith REVENGE page!

If it makes any difference, I am completely offended and hurt by this dress up page I designed for myself.
Enjoy!

Bob

“THAT NO NICE”

YO WHAT YOU MEAN JESUS DRESS UP THATS NOT NICE YOU UNDER STAND WAY YOU DONT PUT YOUR MAMAS DRESS UP YOU KNOW THE DEVIL I THINK THAT NO NICE OKAY SO YOU BETTER TAKE THAT OUT OF THE WEB SITE SINSERELY MM

Mayraamaadios77@aol.com


“YOU SUND FEEL BAD”

YOU SUND FEEL BAD BECAUSE JESUS DIE for you and me and he loves you sow much that you are not dead you better think what are you doing you dont respect your selft thats to bad i know if you dont change you will go to hell

Mayraamaadios77@aol.com


“please rigth me back thank you”

i rigth this realy big sow you know son of devil way you do this bad things to jesus when he love you so much you tell me what his dont to you that you are doing this thing to your heavenly father he created you please rigth me back thank you

Mayraamaadios77@aol.com


“rigth me so i can tell you what you need to hear”

i will be lokking al my e.maills i there you to rigth me so i can tell you what you need to hear

Mayraamaadios77@aol.com


I think it's safe to assume that whatever it is you have to tell me will only confuse matters more.

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