The Chris Thompson /
Ma Thompson/ MotherThomp/ Mommy Thomp/ “Ma”/ Mother Thumper Files
Her emails will be in blue while mine are in black and white.

Staying entertained in a coffee shop as the cold weather moves in is a challenge.

Junkies & bums on their way to Starbucks

One of the problems in the Union Square/St. Marks area of Manhattan is the great number of junkies and bums there.

In coffee shops they tie up the bathroom, spit when they talk... and many other annoying things that I can't think of at the moment.

So anyhow, Skater Bob, Venessa and some other friends of mine have found some entertainment in sticking these signs I designed on bathroom doors, entrances and windows of the Starbucks we frequent.

It's just funny to see the expressions on some people's faces when they see 'em.

No, we're not anti-Starbucks, in fact our stickers have gotten a warm reception from the employees!


We've also had great fun in betting on the bathroom line. You see, every Starbucks bathroom in midtown has a line, and the bathroom doors there are all set to automatically lock when they shut (to keep the bums and junkies out) at which point you have to ask an employee to buzz you in.


The game is simple: Try to pick the person in line who won't catch the door in time when the person comes out. It's a blast! When the door slams shut and the person who'd been waiting there for 20 minutes yanks on the knob and it's locked, our whole table screams and hollers, even cries in amusement. It's an incredible rush.

Alex & Bob

Then that person has to leave the line and go to the counter and ask to be buzzed in while the whole line waits even longer. And sometimes they just cut ahead leaving the person who went to the counter having to wait once again.

We've seen people yank on that door, then upon hearing our wails of uncontrollable celebration, run from the premises humiliated. And some people never learn! we've seen people miss it twice, even three times! And if you're lucky enough to have bet on these prime horses then your Double Espresso Mocha Latte is paid for at the end of the day.

People just need to realize that the bathroom line (especially in a coffee house) is the most important line you may ever stand in. You have to be alert, observant and ready to move quickly. You've got 24 people after you depending on your sharp wits and skills. Don't let them down... because if you do we may just be there profiting off of your broken dreams.

Skater Bob & Pops

Email Skater Bob

“I pictured him and his friends laughing as they dressed Jesus on the cross...I felt a sad love for them...”

I'm sure you have heard this one before....but I just put it on an away message of a young friend of mine who linked "Jesus dress up" on his info....And as I pictured him and his friends laughing as they dressed Jesus on the cross...I felt a sad love for them and the words, "Father , forgive them, they know not what they do" came to my mind. The words, as you know, spoken by our Lord from the cross as the people made fun of Him then.....So..I love you...and pray for you to "return to your first love" (forget the religion crap - but remember the relationship)....

Hope you take this as it was intended...with love (and I'm not being sarcastic)....
Chris Thompson

Hi Chris

When I received your email I pictured you living in a world of confusion and denial, somehow convinced that there was a time when animals talked, men lifted oceans up from the earth, and virgins got impregnated by super-beings so as to eventually save mankind from the sin-debt they've accumulated.

I felt a sad love for you, like a "love" you'd feel for a relative standing alone in a cornfield waiting to be beamed up into outer space by aliens. "Love" like that you'd have for a close friend who's scared to look in mirrors because he's afraid the reflection will steal his soul and sell it half price in "Reflection Land" to the soulless and backwards Reflection Land people.

I hope that soon you see the wackiness of your behavior and stop teaching this senselessness to children (and I'm not being sarcastic).

No relation to you what so ever,

“Because I have God's heart and He loves you through me....I can't help it!”

Hi Bob,

I gotta tell ya, you made an overnight celebrity out of me by posting my letter. As soon as the kids saw it, my IMs started popping up all over my computer telling me I was famous. Aparently being selected by you is quite an honor, in their eyes. And, I always welcome the opportunity to put myself in an arena with someone that wants to make me look like a delusional moron. So thanks.

I do think you are clever....and I hate to admit it, but I chuckle at some of your retorts to the mail. They are very funny, (and some well deserved). But, I do feel a little sorry for the ones who obviously are trying to show you love the best they can ,and you cut them down. Something or someone has hurt you somewhere along the line to cause you to be so radically anti-Jesus. But that is between you and Him. And you know what I love you cause Jesus does. and you say say, "you can't love me you don't even know me!" and I say to you, as I said to one of my "kids" when they said that to me - "Because I have God's heart and He loves you through me....I can't help it!"...and I'll be praying for you along with my other "kids"

.....Loving you anyway
"Ma" Thompson

“Just a note to wish you a happy Thanksgiving.....
oh.....but who do you thank?”

Subject: just saying hi

Hi Bob,

Just a note to wish you a happy Thanksgiving as it is now "upon us" as they say. Do you celebrate with a big meal with your family? You certainly have a lot to be thankful for you are so creative and clever! And you are developing quite a following of young people! And you are so free! Free to say and do whatever you like!.....oh.....but who do you thank?....Oh well, enjoy your turkey anyway!

Love ya! (and, unfortunately I do)
"Ma" Thompson (motherthomp)

Yes, I will be spending Thanksgiving with family; my parents, brothers and their families, and I will thank them because they matter more than the guy you'll be thanking.

Don't think that the sarcasm in your "Oh well, enjoy your turkey anyway!" went unnoticed. It's heartless and almost inhumane to put such little value on your fellow man. Personally I think my human loved ones are worth it. They really do mean a lot to me and I hold them very close to my heart. To think that an atheist has no one to thank or praise or love is a destructive inconsiderate stereotype.

In my opinion your "thanks to God" is a misplacement of priorities. I understand that you believe your family's unanimous appreciation to God brings you together through Him, but to me it's a fog between you and them. A mutual agreement that you love the invisible man more than you love each other... and that's such a sad thing. This misplacement of priorities clearly showed it's ugly head in your flippant email to me assuming that without God no one is worth thanking. Nothing could be further from the truth.

My family loves me "Ma" and their love is real. The kind that has been tweaked over time and customized to the specific individual. They know me and trust me and respect me. And when they use the word "love" I know that it goes deeper than typing it out in an email to a stranger as you do. The love you throw around appears to be weightless and without accountability. And there's nothing worse than abuse of the word "love".
... especially during the holidays!

I really can't love you because I don't know you.

“you can't be angry at something that doesn't exist. why make fun of something that doesn't such a obsessive way....”

Well, Bob

Such a quick reply! And you seem a bid annoyed with my "putting little value on my fellow man" ah you do. Forgive me for being so insensitive. Of course you will thank your "human loved ones" and I'm sure that they have so much to be proud of in you, especially if they have influenced you in your passion. If I was your mom, I'm sure I would be tickled to have you for a son.

Now I really do care about much so that, and you will get a chuckle out of this, I have you on the prayer list at our local Christian Radio station. I just feel it is more than not believing in God. It seems like you have been hurt somewhere along the line and you are upset with God for it. That's what I think anyway. But who am I. (and I'm sure you will tell me) And I know you will say you can't be angry at something that doesn't exist. why make fun of something that doesn't such a obsessive way....

well , I won't say "love" since that annoys you .....sincerely
- Ma Thompson

Hello Ma,

You have to admit, anybody would be annoyed by someone telling them what they believe and it isn't true. Your constant insisting that I believe in God and angry at Him bothers me not only because it isn't true, but it also insults my intelligence. Belief in God is just a little silly. Believing in God and spiting Him is retarded.

There are several reasons why I obsess over this thing that doesn't exist, and I'd like you to please notice how none of them include an anger directed at God.

#1 Reason: The topic absolutely fascinates me. Demons, Gods, the meaning of life, death and the mystery of what lay after. Can you blame me for being obsessed?

#2 Reason: I think it's oh so funny. For so long the subject was taboo. Mocking it now, well, now it's the joke that never gets old!

#3 Reason: It was almost 30 years of my life! If I'd been taught that Superman was God and then came to my senses 3 decades later I'd be obsessed with him now. You just don't forget all that stuff happened and keep your mouth shut about it. I mean, why don't you just keep your beliefs to yourself and let non Christians be? Exactly.

#4 Reason: It's a source of constant inspiration for me. Being an artist, one of the most difficult challenges is staying inspired. The combination of its endless hilarity, knowing I'm right, the taboo, and people kind enough to get involved daily (like you) keeps me inspired beyond my wildest dreams. It's a platform for me to show off my talents. A true blessing.

#5 Reason: I make a living off of it now. Yes, it's true! People contact me because they enjoy my site and they hire me to work for them. And my fridge magnets are proving to be all the rage as well (having just sold 2,000+ to Urban Outfitters). So if responding to goofy complaint letters is all I need to do to keep the money comin' in, then color me obsessed!

#6 Reason: Girls. Girls like my site. Girls like my art. Girls relate to my writings. And some girls think I'm sexy! Ma, nothing can top the prospect of actually meeting someone with similar interests and beliefs who I'm attracted to... and is somehow attracted to me too! By the way, got any hook-ups?

These are the non-anger-towards-God reasons why I'm obsessed with my site. Oh, and that reminds me,
#8 Reason: I hope to conquer the world and fulfill the demands of The Dark One.

Thank you for the email.

P.S. That prayer list I'm on at the Christian radio station, is my site getting a free plug each time it's prayed for? Lemme know.

“I want to know the "draw" to atheisim. ”

Hi Bob,

Thankyou for taking the time to give me such a long explaination. And I thank you for tempering the sarcasim a little.... I apologize to you for being somewhat sarcastic myself. I understand how you could get a kick out of responding to your "hate mail".... some of them really screaming for it.

My daughter and I were reading them the other day and we both winced at most of the "christian" letters. But I sense a sincerity in many of them and they were very well written.... made some good points. But that is niether here nor there.

you may wonder if I have a life , like why am I writing to you when obviously we are at two ends of the totem pole (there I used a pagan symbol - make you happy!) Just a joke...not getting sarcastic!...... and niether of us are going to "win over" the other....... I do have a very busy life....and I should be getting supper prepared right now....but I am still interested in why you believe the way you do......Because, my daughter is going out with a kid that seemsd to think like you.....I love the kid and I think all his friends are great (same train of thought).... (I know Christians parents are supposed to make sure their kids are "equally yoked") But I really feel that they are supposed to be together...... so of course I want to know the "draw"to atheisim.

I was also thinking something...... it is strange (I think) that you went from a believer........ to a "raging" non believere in your thirtys (I guess from your info)...... and I went from a "raging" non believer to a believer in my 20s. Why do people travel seperate paths I wonder.

I do appreciate your wit and talent ...just wish you were on "our side"....we can use a little more "wit" lol ......

Well on to fix dinner... and by the way, I'm sorry no free radio advertising, Just your name is announced.... so I guess you will only get blessings. Again thanks for "being real" this time.


No problem. It got a little sarcastic there, but I'm happy we're able to get back to being real. But to your question:

What's the draw to atheism? What is the draw to atheism?!? The "draw" is it's the fucking truth! It's not a freaking mad house of fairy tales and magic! It's basing your life on proof and logic and common sense for Christ's sake! It's the rejection of primitive superstitions thought up by hairy, ghost-fearing cavemen and the quest of using the brain in your head to figure it out for yourself!

What's this world coming to?!? You need something to "draw" you to what you believe, like a bigger prize at the end, an all encompassing love or a personalized guardian angel?!? There is no "draw" to atheism! Atheism is the obvious answer with no "over the rainbow" ending, no God that'll pick you up and carry you when you're weak, no pre scripted life purpose for each individual to seek out and fulfill! It's the flat out dismissal of the ludicrous!

It's taking responsibility for yourself, your own life, making it what you want it to be and learning from the mistakes you make. There's no God that lifts you up or devil that pulls you down. It's life Ma, and the sooner a person figures that out the sooner that person will stop waiting for someone to point the way and actually make their own adult decisions for themselves! What the fuck!??!

Oh! And thank you too Ma.

PS. Tell the kid your daughter's goin' out with "hi" for me.

Visit “Ma” on her one web page (updated daily).

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