If you haven't heard the news, my magnets have SOLD OUT! That's right, they were so popular I couldn't even keep them around for the entire Christmas shopping frenzy. But never fear, more are on the way. I have the second printing already underway, and hopefully they'll be ready by March 1st. That's the date I've been given from Hong Kong, but we also know how last time went (8 weeks turning into 8 months). I'll have more information on them after the holidays regarding reservations and availability.

Until then I want to wish you all a very...

Merry Santamas!
Their emails will be in blue while mine are in black and white.


My name is Alison and I am 15 years old. I was never raised to believe in any particular type of religion.Infact,the subject never even came up with my parents. I suppose this was a good thing, because I have always been one to think for myself and make my own decisions.

I never payed too much attention to the whole deal, but a few years ago I decided that I do not believe in the bible, as it all mostly seems like a bunch of over exaggerated fairy tales to me. Eventually I had come to the conclusion that I don't believe in Jesus Christ, and that there is just not enough evidence of any sort for me to believe in a God either.However,I also decided I am not going to label myself into any category of religion,because I am not strongly oppinionated about any of it( I hope you understand that ),and to be honest----it gets me pissed off when people make such a big deal about it.

From what I have read off your website,I can see that we do share some of the same view points,and that you are obviously,a very intelligent person.Now I have not been able to read everything , as I just recently found your website (thanks to your jesus dress up page) but I am very curious to know where you stand on the topic of death.Do you have any opinions on what happens when we die?

I apologize before hand if this question is ignorant, but where I live there really isn't much but Christians, and I wish to expand my knowledge on the different ideas people have.If there's already something about this on your page and you don't feel like explaining,maybe you could just give me a link to where it is instead.I greatly appreciate you taking the time out to read this, It seems like you get a lot of emails so if you can't respond I understand.



My opinion of what happens after death is a pretty simple one. Nothing. You'll be in exactly the same place you were when before you were born.

Sometimes it can be a pretty difficult thing to comprehend, but it's just too obvious for me to ignore. No fairy tales, no fiery gloom, no self-indulgent account of what your "oh so important" life was. Simply "The End Is The End." The "Big Sleep" will be just that.

Actually (when I was a Christian) this was the same fate I had lined up for the dead birds in the storm gutters, road kill on the freeway, and the animals of the jungle. For some reason I had no trouble comprehending it for them, but for myself, I only knew of eternal paradise for me and my loved ones.

Now I know better. It was my ego talkin'. Nothing more.

I came to the conclusion a few years back that it was truth that was most important, and this truth could not be ignored any longer. I'll tell ya, nothing inspired me more to make something of my life than this reality. Now, each moment is precious, I appreciate every aspect of my life as best I can, and I do what I know is right for me.

Thank you so much for your email Alison.

Subject: A Graphic Designer that LOVES your site

That supercilious critique of your design skills made my skin crawl. I see a lot of these types at the college I go to: inexperienced, insecure and looking for any opportunity to foist their "educated" opinions on others in hopes of overcoming their greenness.

I love your front page! It's like opening an evil toy box and finding it overstuffed with blasphemously delicious diversions. Ms. "better than you because I take classes with sophisticated names" can fuck off! She only wrote that letter because she was intimidated by your drawing skills and wanted to assert herself over you in an area she perceived you weak at.


“The bible says Be not deceived God is not mocked whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap!”

how could you mock our Lord and saviour like this?The bible says Be not deceived God is not mocked whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap! You really need to consider this!!!!!!!!!!


Honestly, it doesn't shock me that "The Lord" doesn't like to be mocked. Hell, I'd make that my number one rule too if I were Lord!

Unfortunately His petty insecurities mean little to someone who thinks He's imaginary.

That'd be me.

“Being a Graphic Design student it certainly makes me almost cringe to look at your website's layout and colors.”

Hi Bob

As much as I enjoy reading your site, looking at the cartoons and all the rest that you do, I must admit that your website is of poor design.

Being a Graphic Design student it certainly makes me almost cringe to look at your website's layout and colors. A lot of it looks just cramped and there is no "breathing space". I think you have great talent when it comes to illustration, but you certainly would be one of the last people I would hire to make a website.

So basically it would be even more of a pleasure if looking at it wouldn't be such an eye sore.


You should show me the genius site you designed. I am going to bed shortly and I'd like to be lulled into good 8 hour sleep.

“You may have the skills to do the technical, but can't design.”

The genuis has not designed a site.( learning that soon though). That doesn't mean that I don't understand layout design. You may have the skills to do the technical, but can't design. I can design but can't do the technical.

So what can I say? Not much besides that your idea of suggesting that I can't criticize your site based on the fact that I don't have one just isn't good enough.


Maybe you should send me a screenshot of what you're seeing on your end. Perhaps you're just using cheap software and it's fucking up the coding? I swear, all I get are compliments on the site design all day long... even from Christians! But I never said that you couldn't criticize based on the fact that you don't have a site. I just wanted to see some of your stuff. I imagined it to be quite impressive, but you've got nothing. That's okay.

At least send me to a site that you think is brilliantly designed. I'm always open to suggestions.


“Shouldn't seem so circuslike if the site were more organized and everythink weren't screaming for attention.”

Hey I am actually getting the right screenshot. I have seen your site in school and at home, on big screens and small ones, pc and mac.

I understand that many people have complimented you about your site (yes I still read it), but to make sure that I wasn't the only one who didn't understand how they could compliment it, I asked a couple of classmates what they thought and it wasn't as pretty. More in terms of " looks like a lot of spam".

It wasn't easy to come across a website where I could say that I liked, since there is so much junk out there. I have this one, which I thought was neat and still simple.( I excluded the ones with all the flashy special effects). What it has is negative space, breathing space and is not all cramped up.

For instance I would just have a fan mail and a hate mail. Once you click on that you can see all the different types, instead of having it right on the main page (ads that lovely breathing space :) )

Then everything is cramped up to the top, and when you get to the bottom you have a red "box" on the left and a blue " box" on the right.

You could bring down Mr X's hangman dress up down and also top 10 worst movies. This way they aren't all glued together in one strip to the top.

On the red strip, left side, almost every link is underlined. I feel that is innecessary. I would leave the blullet points and add more letting between each link ( that is the space between two lines of type).

You might also want to consider a hierarchy of information. Obviously Jesus Dressup (which is very amusing) is important (we still don't want to keep the crazy Christians away, now do we?) and the hate and fan mail, which in my view should be larger than other information such a super chicks and 10 worst movies. The picture of you as a devil with the animated expressions is wonderful, but I wish it were more noticed, so I would make that bigger. I figured I can live with your crazy color choice. Shouldn't seem so circuslike if the site were more organized and everythink weren't screaming for attention. Obviously I also understand that this is your site and artistic freedom, so I want to change it completely.

Let me know if what I said made any sense to you.
And now time for class. Lovely class, called psychology of color.

That's how you think my site should be laid out? Eeeeewww! That is soooo boring! Is that what they're teaching you in school? My god, soon everything will look like Amazon.com.

I'm trying to run an exciting site here Izabella. Not a resume. Personally that's where I think so many designers fuck up. They create these stagnate white background, overly generic sites that look like they were pieced together by an accountant in Maine.

It's supposed to look like spam! It IS a circus, with jokes, punk rockers, curse words, name calling and shenanigans! I'm not selling P.C. watercolors! Every goddamn site on the Internet has that dull, pastel theme, with a delicate gray shading behind every gentle image. My site isn't gentle. I'm fucking with Jesus. People are masturbating to shaved chicks. I am breaking the hearts of children for a good laugh. "Screaming for attention" is exactly what I'm intending to do. I am not The Gap.

One of my favorite jokes on the site is the 140+ pages of hate mail and 9 pages of fan mail. Don't you know what's funny? Why would I want to hide all of that delicious content on some inside page? Everything important is at the top for several reasons. First, that's what people want to see first, and that's what I want them to be smacked in the face with when they arrive. Airing it out is not an option. The images also all have to be at the top because they have to be visible together WITH my animated head shot. With too much "breathing space" (a horribly over-rated design term) my devilish face wouldn't be jumping around like a crazed madman with the mouse passing over emptiness.

You're going to be designing sites for law firms. I'm designing sites for fat Peg Bundy impersonators in Vegas. Do not corrupt me with your lameness.


Wed, 17 Dec 2003 07:36:38
“you should use your creativity”

you should use your creativity in a nicer way.

Steve LanzaI

Like how? Drawing pictures of puppies and starfish?

Wed, 17 Dec 2003 07:43:34
“creativity in a nicer way”

you should use your creativity in a nicer way.

Steve LanzaI

Nicer than puppies and starfish? What's nicer than that? Jellybeans?

Tue, 16 Dec 2003 21:15:36
“you are a dick”

Subject: you are a dick

dear bob [i am sure not your real name], i am highly offended and i am not even a practicing catholic. why not do a jew pin up or muslim one too?

you are a dick,
Steve LanzaI

Dear Steve (probably not YOUR real name either!)

I am highly offended by your "dick" remark. Why not call Jews dicks and Muslims dicks too?

You're the dick.



Yanet Brunet Cidre

Like Micheal Jackson "bad" or... um, Micheal Jackson "bad"?


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