Subject:
You're not really an atheist, are you?
(Not a true picture. Instead
I chose an image of my dream girl)
Excuse
me, Bob (or Nathan), I have seen a most interesting documentary
recently that debunks your so-called atheism. (You just know e-mails
are going to suck when it starts with "I have seen a most interesting
documentary...")
Anyway,
this particular one was called, "Taboo" and it was on National Geographic.
It was about Wiccans, and showed a most unusual character- Nathan.
You see, I would normally have skipped over it due to my complete
lack in documentaries, but this Nathan was most interesting. He
seemed like a double of you! Not in the current bald state you happen
to be in, but in the orangish hair state I believe happened several
years ago. This Nathan character had your nose, your eyes and your
frame... and he was a Freelance Artist!
Now,
I try to rationalize most things, but this was just too much. How
could you, a supposed atheist, be a Wiccan? How could this Wiccan
be so similar to you? Did you change religions and keep your atheist
persona for purely financial reasons? Or is there some kind of obscure
Bob clone out there performing spells and dancing around like a
mad man in his underwear?
The
plot thickens.
From your friendly neighbourhood maniac, Crystal Derangon
So,
somebody finally saw my National Geographic doc. I knew it wouldn't
be long before someone who had visited my web site stumbled accross
that show and gave me a hard time about it.
I
dropped the atheism thing a year or two ago and got into Wiccan
pretty hard-core. It was totally liberating and exactly what I needed
after that starched-collar cynical atheist rant I was on. Christ,
what a relief that was! I debated whether or not to even mention
it on the NormalBobSmith site, but I knew that all of my loyal fans
would probably not take to the "Nathan the Wiccan" persona too kindly.
So I dropped the "Normal Bob" thing in my day to day life and freed
myself from those atheist demons that haunted me. It was the most
rewarding and fulfilling experience of my life.
But
don't worry about me Crystal, I'm not some Wiccan poser (or atheist
poser, haha!) No way. I've totally dropped any association I once
had to all those Christian names and adopted my true Muslim identity:
"Abdul Baha Mundi". I've seen the truth and am through living under
the oppression of the white man.
Oh!
And keep an eye out for another special I'm involved in, a public
access reality show titled- "Real Muslim Life". It's something I've
been workin' on here in Queens for the past few months. You'll finally
get to see the real deal of what us Muslims have to deal with and
the trials we face in your "free" country. Praise Allah!
Thank
you for the email.
Abdul Baha.
|
| “Perhaps
I'm being presumptuous, but I suppose you are Jewish” |
As a Catholic
(and not an uptight one by any stretch of the imagination)
I am highly offended by your Dress Up Jesus bullshit. You
must be mightly ignorant if that's all you can come up with
regarding humor...and how sad for you to think that the crucifixion
of Jesus Christ was something humorous.
Perhaps I'm being
presumptuous, but I suppose you are Jewish...if so, why not
do one of a Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the "Lubovitcher...after
all, everyone wants equal time don't they? Or do you reserve
your ignorance for Christians only?
Get a life!
Bebe la Strange
ciara43@hotmail.com
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Oh you ignorant
bastard! How dare you suggest such a thing to do to a Rabbi!
There is no excuse for such blasphemy and I suggest you think
about how you'd feel if somebody made something similar of
one of your Christian Sunday school teachers! Ha ha ha! How
do you like that? Not so funny when the shoes on the other
foot, is it?
Maybe next time
you'll think twice before you fly off the handle and take
your frustrations out on someone else's beliefs, because there
is nothing more catastrophic than insulting a person's religion.
I hope now you see the devastation you've left in your path.
Good day to you!
Bob
|
| “Some
of you Jews better start realizing that people aren't
going to put up with your bullshit” |
You truly are a
MORON!! Your response to me doesn't even make any sense -
it's ok to mock the crucifixion of Christ...but not ok to
do that to a Rabbi? That would be blasphemy? By the way, Catholics
don't have Sunday school teachers.
I flew off the
handle because of your ignorant Dress Up Jesus - you insulted
all Christians with that but then you get sensitive about
a Rabbi? What's good for one has got to be good for the others...we're
working on a Dress Up the Rabbi as we speak...coming soon
to a PC near you!!!
Some of you Jews
better start realizing that people aren't going to put up
with your bullshit - you're gonna get back whatever you dish
out.
Stop whining
Bebe la Strange
ciara43@hotmail.com
|
|
Oh! That does it!
Don't you dare post that Rabbi Dress Up! If you do I'll...
I'll... I don't know what I'll do... but you can bet it'll
be serious and very big! You Catholics are so stupid! You
and your stupid Jesus Christ and all His stupid miracles!
Why don't you go choke on a rosary?!?
Us Jews are gonna
show you a thing or two when there's no Second Coming and
we all get the highest thrones in Heaven next to OUR God!
It'll be such a blast bossing around you Catholics up there
in Heaven with your little second class wings and plastic
halos! We'll have the last laugh! You can bet on that!
Now go fetch my
yarmulke, Christ-lover!
Bob
|
| “I
have only one word for you...HITLER! It's becoming quite
obvious that he had his reasons.” |
FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.
I've got more class then you so I won't stoop to insults regarding
your religion. I choose not to think that I'm better or worse
then anyone else just because we believe in different things.
You, on the other hand, are ignorant...by the way...Catholics
and Jews believe in the same God...it's Christ and the New
Testament where we differ.
Do what you will
with your ridiculous behavior and anti-semetic remarks. You
Jews are the first ones screaming anti-semetic when something
is done to you yet you choose to do the same to others. Get
a life.
I have only one
word for you...HITLER! It's becoming quite obvious that he
had his reasons.
Bebe la Strange
ciara43@hotmail.com
|
|
Holy Smokes! It
didn't hardly take any prodding on my part to get you to side
with the Nazis! Maybe you should change your slogan to: "I
choose not to think that I'm better 'then' anyone else just
because we believe in different things... except for those
Jew bastards! Praise Hitler!"
I appreciate the
effort you made not to insult my religion. Now I long to put
my wiener into your dark hole.
Please forward nudes.
Bob
|
|
|
Bob
is fake!
Lynn
Michelle Thomas
lmichellt@fament.com
|
| “If
shock tactics and rough language is okay, then you can
allow me the same. ” |
Hmmm.
Looks like I got your attention. You can't be too upset at
me, since it is the kind of shock tactic you would use, right?
If shock tactics and rough language is okay, then you can
allow me the same.
Lynn
Michelle Thomas
lmichellt@fament.com
|
| “Yes,
I am Lynn Michelle Thomas, and not at all embarassed if
you put me on your website” |
Anyhow, hi, Bob,
fake or not. Yes, I am Lynn Michelle Thomas, and not at all
embarassed if you put me on your website. No, I don't hate
you, and yes, you are being fake.
Lynn
Michelle Thomas
lmichellt@fament.com
|
| “If
you're really Mr. Cool, you'd answer, instead of just
posting me on your website.” |
Ha.
You are so tough, aren't you? If you're really Mr. Cool, you'd
answer, instead of just posting me on your website.
Lynn
Michelle Thomas
lmichellt@fament.com
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|
Okay. Stop! I can't
take it! The rough language to upset me... it's too much!
You most certainly
got my attention! Taking my own shock tactics and turning
them back around onto me is quite the clever plan. Where did
you come up with this? I tip my hat to you Lynn Michelle Thomas.
You're a sassy hell cat... with claws!
Please don't let
the news out that I'm fake. I am a fake. The jig is up. But
only partially fake. You see, yes, I don't really believe
what I claim I believe, BUT I am also ready for the punishment
God has in store for me to make up for the lies I'm spreading.
Please, Lynn Michelle
Thomas, you must explain to me how you solved the riddle of
my site; exposing me for the fake that I am. I am truly impressed.
Bob
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