at Jesus Dress Up Enterprises Inc.
is always a lot of business going on. Busy business that is very
complicated and keeps me very busy. I'm proud to say that things
have been going so busily that I've just recently been promoted!
I have been promoted to CEO/ Chairman/ President of Jesus Dress
Up Magnet Ent., Inc. But don't think that now because I'm a big
shot I've lost my connection with the customer. I will still be
in charge of the lesser departments, like the creative dept, customer
feedback offices, public relations, accounting, and the mailroom.
But no matter how much I do, there will always be somebody who has
to complain, and I will continue to deal with these folks just as
I always have.
emails will be in blue while mine are
in black and white.
I rock, you rock, we should get along
Superfluous, super...whatever. My ray gun is in the shop but I do
have an assortment of fine hubcaps. Yeah magic powers, got those.
Ok, I do think Im pretty damn fine, but I have another motive. I
have my artwork on a yahoo group that gets NO traffic and Ive been
dying to get it somewhere noticable. Pieces: 1,
fellow artist (and boob apprecianado) I thought you might be sympathetic.
bob- bob, bob- bob ra ann!, Just dropping you a line to let you
know that your site made me laugh!
your search for Mrs. Bob comes to a happy ending soon... *waving
my magic wand
ever in the Pittsburgh area, drop me a line!
John/Circus Ringleader was my favorite Dress Up Jesus outfits...
Have a pic! Yes, I'm a tranny, but I hope my picture is still uplifting
in some way. :)
sister in Antichrist,
Subject: Long Lost Fan
I wrote you a few years back, and although I was encouraged to write
a longer letter or something or other. Instead, as a result of terrible
procrastination, I didn't, and although I remembered your website
existed, I somehow never got around to visiting it once again, but
recently I fell upon your website once more, and I have to say that
I was just as impressed as before. Obviously it seems that it's
grown quite a bit since last I saw (I love your "Special People
Club"...entertaining...), and although I was tempted to apply for
'Super Chic' status (despite the fact that my hair is lacking of
luminous colorings, I don't have black messy pigtails, nor black
torn fishnets and I'm not even eighteen yet), I decided I'd just
send you an email saying that I'm still one of the many fans, and
figured that an ego stroke is never a bad thing.
stumbled across your art
portfolio. Phenomenal. One of my favorites is the piece of Winona
Rider. Have you taken any classes whatsoever or were your talents
cultivated primarily on your own? I'm currently attending a Charter
high school..."Performing and Fine Arts"...a school 97% estrogen
(although there is an abundance of penis....penii?) and all about
those stereotyped "art/theatre geeks" that are classified as these
terrible horrible things in most predictable teen movies. Anyway,
because I'm proud of my bright, tarty art, I thought I'd send you
a picture of one of my favorites of my own. *shrug*
a lovely evening, and I hope it wasn't too terrible to send you
a website not only stroking your ego but indulging in my own vanity.
I don't apologize for how scatterbrained I seem.
want to say, I admire what you are doing. I have known too many
Atheists that were just so damned serious about everything! I'm
glad you have a sense of humour and share it with all of us. I go
through your site all the time, and find your views, humour, and
responses to people, to be refreshing. It is also just hilarious
to me, to see Christians trying so hard to back up their blind faith.
I chat a lot in MSN, and deal with it myself all the time in religious
debate chats- not just the Christians, but everyone scrambling to
defend their beliefs.
still have some leftover faith- not in a dead man on a stick, but
just in... whatever might be out there. But living with an Atheist,
and reading through your site, I find it harder and harder everyday
to claim any faith in anything anymore... it just no longer makes
sense to believe in what's not in front of me. I'm not so afraid
of things anymore, and don't stress out so much. I wish others could
see how much easier it is to live with yourself when you are not
dependent on invisible beings!
thank you for the great site!
Sincerely, Ariana Giyate
An outraged customer.
I think this is disgusting and if it meant to be a joke its
An outraged customer.
You're a customer
of mine? Well then, at least tell me if you're happy with
the magnet's quality and craftsmanship.
Thank you for the
would not buy anything like this even if the quality and
craftsmanship were the best
No I am not your
customer I found your
magnet on the net and I had to comment... I would
not buy anything like this even if the quality and craftsmanship
were the best because I feel the subject matter is a serious
Wait. First you
are a customer, then you're not a customer? Which is it?
To me you simply
sound like an outraged liar.
was looking to buy a funny magnet I saw yours and did
not think it was amusing or in good taste. So I did not
use my purchase power to buy the item. I made a statement
and bought from some one else.
I was looking to buy a funny magnet I saw yours and did not
think it was amusing or in good taste. So I did not use my
purchase power to buy the item. I made a statement and bought
from some one else.
I am still a customer
just not yours...I do not lie I made a statement obviously
not one that you agree with. I am sorry if I offended you
I just was offended by your magnet.
You bought my magnets
from someone else? I'm confused. I mean, it doesn't sound
like I lost your business at all. You don't even want my product!
It's like me sayin':
Gee, I sure would like a glass of chocolate milk!"
Then going to the store and buy some chocolate milk and thinkin'
that the guys who make dill pickles totally lost a customer
because they don't make chocolate milk.
You were never
going to buy from me in the first place, so how could I lose
you? Do you understand?
You must also realize
that my business isn't like so many others that you deal with
on such a regular basis. Most businesses work very hard to
be polite & please everyone who comes into their store and
do about anything to sell their product. I really don't have
to run my business that way because my magnets sell extremely
well either way, you slut.
Jesus Dress Up Fridge Magnet Enterprises, Inc.
have been told that these things are being sold at American
Outfitters / American Eagle
How in the world
could you even consider making Jesus Christ into a "dress
up doll". I have been told that these things are being
sold at American Outfitters / American Eagle if so I will
never buy anything else from those companies and will encourage
other to do the same.
This is a disgrace
to my Lord and Savior!!!!! And would appreciate it if you
would take this "doll" off the market. It is not
funny or cute in the least.
I pray that you
some day learn what he has done for your soul and what he
can do for your life.
Vona J. Keeling
Independant Tupperware Consultant
Yes. They are being
sold at American Eagle stores. They LOVE them there! In fact,
American Eagle stores have requested 50,000 more so that they
can distribute them worldwide!
Oh how I love the
American Eagle stores! And oh how they love me! I dare you
never to shop there again!
P.S. C'mon, you have to admit that it's a little cute.
mean sitting around all day and running a website based
off of elementary ideas, and selling dress-up Jesus figures
is where we would all love to be someday...Oh wait no
I am just curious
Bob, since you spend all of your time slandering and desecrating
the Christian faith why don't you 'enlighten' us all on your
belifs "which are based in absolute logic" as quoted by you
in a previous e-mail. I mean come on Bob, one would like to
know more about this "exciting" and "inspirational" faith
you believe in. One that must have Doctrines about posting
hate about other's ideals, garnering attention by selling
immature products to make a buck, and responding to other's
e-mails with absolutely no real sense or logic made.
It really sounds
like you have it all figured out Bob, and I am sure we would
all love to be filled in on the 'secrets to your success.'
I mean sitting around all day and running a website based
off of elementary ideas, and selling dress-up Jesus figures
is where we would all love to be someday...Oh wait no it's
not. I forgot most people have the sense to realize that this
earth is but a veil, and just because you only believe what
your eyes can see does not mean that a world outside of your
comprehension exists. But, I am sure you have heard that a
thousand times and there have been a thousand witty and arrogant
remarks made back by you. So Bob, give us a chance to hear
your beliefs and maybe we can question your faith as you question
By the way you
can e-mail me at email@example.com
I would much appreciate a reply. .
If you were a regular viewer of my site you'd already know
that I NEVER discuss my own personal beliefs. That's my business,
not yours or anyone else's. Like most people I am not very
fond of having my beliefs questions or ridiculed. It's an
invasion of my privacy and offensive to me as a non believer.
I am also not too fond of hearing my product referred to as
"immature." No man could boast about making his living in
such an elementary manner, and I am no different. I expect
an apology, and an official withdrawal of the accusation in
a respectable tone.
Nick, I suggest
that you figure out what it is you believe before you go and
write such a sarcastic, hate-driven email like the one you've
written to me.
The Laptop Lobbyists
are quoted (from a quote of my very own) that dubs me as "The
God of Atheism," If that's not something to be proud of then
you need to ask yourself this:
" He who hath no sin may cast the first stone."
isn't that interesting Bob. Let's review what your last
Well isn't that
interesting Bob. Let's review what your last e-mail stated.
"If you were a regular viewer of my site you'd already
know that I NEVER discuss my own personal beliefs. That's
my business, not yours or anyone else's. Like most people
I am not very fond of having my beliefs questions or ridiculed."
One more time now.
"I AM NOT VERY FOND of having my BELIEFS QUESTIONED or RIDICULED."
Are you beginning to see the hypocrisy here Bob? You have
a site dedicated to ridiculing and questioning the Christian
faith, yet you yourself do not like having your beliefs questioned
or ridiculed. Man, I would have figured one so 'intelligent'
and 'all-knowing' as yourself would have spotted that. Guess
It is sad to see
someone resort to such feeble and childish attempts at getting
attention. I mean what is it Bob, did you just never have
any luck with girls, or fitting in during school? I know how
much you would like to think you are a 'punk rawker'. Maybe
that's it. I guess listening to punk rock wasn't enough to
get you liked by the punk community. So, now you sell dress-up
Jesus figures, post hate, and your 'punk rock' now. Wow! Now
I am starting to see the connection!
Well, I think you
are about as punk as Avril Lavigne wearing a tie and singing
about skater boys. So what you are non-believer, who isn't?
Hasn't that always been the trendy thing to do all throughout
history. To hate God. I mean it so much easier to believe
only in yourself, because then you can do whatever YOU want
to do with no consequence. Because hey, if your going to die
and that's the end of it why not live it up? But, for you
it is not even a religious thing it is all about getting the
attention you so desperately strive to get from people that
probably hated on you five years earlier. Because you see
Bob, it is all about respect which you don't tend to grasp.
Like I said, so what you are a non-believer that doesn't make
you any more special than the millions of others JUST LIKE
YOU. You may not agree with believers but at least repect
that that is their beliefs and you have yours. Just as you
stated to me above, that you are not fond of others desecrating
your beliefs. Well, it swings both ways Bobby. So, why don't
you practice what you preach... Oh wait I know why you don't,
because your not preaching anything. All this garbage is so
others will like you. Very sad.It seems it would have been
much easier to just be yourself. As for that apology from
Well, I ah... but
it hurts when people say things about my belei... there's
a difference between what I do and what other people...
Wow, you totally
got me. How did you figure all of that out about me? Makes
me realize that it's really stupid for me to be so hurt by
other people's opinions, especially when they're strangers!
What was I thinking? And now that I look at it even closer
I'm starting to see that a person would have to be pretty
lame if they're so hurt, offended or bothered by different
beliefs than mine no matter how disrespectful they may be.
And then to complain to that person about how they've ridiculed
my beliefs? That's gotta be the most ignorant, naive thing
anyone could ever do!
Gosh, and the more
I look at it I'm starting to realize that there quite possibly
might not be anything more important than those other opinions
no matter how insulting, offensive or disrespectful some people
might think they are, because every belief should be questioned
Hey Nick, you know
what I'm gonna do now? Instead of hiding what I believe and
never talking about it, I'm gonna start replying to the hate
mail I receive and tell people exactly what I think about
their beliefs and my own! And instead of simply sitting on
the fence about everybody's beliefs so that everyone will
like me I'm gonna choose a side and stick with it!
Lemme see.... which
way should I go? Oh, I know! How about Atheism? Yes! That's
it! Great. From now on I am going to call myself an "A-the-ist"
and defend it no matter how hurt I am by what others think.
In fact, I'm gonna stop getting hurt by what others think
about my beliefs because WHO THE FUCK GIVES A SHIT WHAT PEOPLE
What? Are you a
fucking moron Nick? Do you even think before you respond with
the first reaction you have to something? Is this the same
manner in which you chose Jesus Christ too? And you think
that selling immature magnets from my website isn't my dream
job.. or anyone's for that matter? I'm in New York City and
all that I do is draw and write all day. No boss, no schedule,
no alarm clocks. And you know what my favorite part of "work"
is? I'll tell you what it is. It's responding to silly complaint
letters (like yours) and showing how stupid and gullible people
who complain to strangers are. How easily they will believe
something just because that's what they want to hear (like
you and my last letter), and how that in itself reflects their
own thought process and exposes another gaping hole in those
silly religious beliefs. There isn't anything more punk rock
than exposing the lie and rubbing your face in it.
Nick, you are an
untalented, jealous dimwit. You can't even recognize the exact
same sarcasm you used when it's shoveled right back at you,
and that makes you far more pathetic than I could even begin
to describe. Goddamn, I love what I do. Sitting around all
day dreaming up elementary ideas for a buck.
By the way, what do you do for a living Nick? Wow, that sounds