Here at Jesus Dress Up Enterprises Inc.
there is always a lot of business going on. Busy business that is very complicated and keeps me very busy. I'm proud to say that things have been going so busily that I've just recently been promoted! I have been promoted to CEO/ Chairman/ President of Jesus Dress Up Magnet Ent., Inc. But don't think that now because I'm a big shot I've lost my connection with the customer. I will still be in charge of the lesser departments, like the creative dept, customer feedback offices, public relations, accounting, and the mailroom. But no matter how much I do, there will always be somebody who has to complain, and I will continue to deal with these folks just as I always have.

Their emails will be in blue while mine are in black and white.

Subject: I rock, you rock, we should get along

Superfluous, super...whatever. My ray gun is in the shop but I do have an assortment of fine hubcaps. Yeah magic powers, got those. Ok, I do think Im pretty damn fine, but I have another motive. I have my artwork on a yahoo group that gets NO traffic and Ive been dying to get it somewhere noticable. Pieces: 1, 2, 3, 4

As a fellow artist (and boob apprecianado) I thought you might be sympathetic.

Subject: Chuckles

Bob- bob- bob, bob- bob ra ann!, Just dropping you a line to let you know that your site made me laugh!

Hope your search for Mrs. Bob comes to a happy ending soon... *waving my magic wand

If your ever in the Pittsburgh area, drop me a line!

ps. Elton John/Circus Ringleader was my favorite Dress Up Jesus outfits...

Have a pic! Yes, I'm a tranny, but I hope my picture is still uplifting in some way. :)

Your sister in Antichrist,

Blessed be,

Subject: Long Lost Fan

Dearest Bob-
I wrote you a few years back, and although I was encouraged to write a longer letter or something or other. Instead, as a result of terrible procrastination, I didn't, and although I remembered your website existed, I somehow never got around to visiting it once again, but recently I fell upon your website once more, and I have to say that I was just as impressed as before. Obviously it seems that it's grown quite a bit since last I saw (I love your "Special People Club"...entertaining...), and although I was tempted to apply for 'Super Chic' status (despite the fact that my hair is lacking of luminous colorings, I don't have black messy pigtails, nor black torn fishnets and I'm not even eighteen yet), I decided I'd just send you an email saying that I'm still one of the many fans, and figured that an ego stroke is never a bad thing.

I finally stumbled across your art portfolio. Phenomenal. One of my favorites is the piece of Winona Rider. Have you taken any classes whatsoever or were your talents cultivated primarily on your own? I'm currently attending a Charter high school..."Performing and Fine Arts"...a school 97% estrogen (although there is an abundance of penis....penii?) and all about those stereotyped "art/theatre geeks" that are classified as these terrible horrible things in most predictable teen movies. Anyway, because I'm proud of my bright, tarty art, I thought I'd send you a picture of one of my favorites of my own. *shrug*

Have a lovely evening, and I hope it wasn't too terrible to send you a website not only stroking your ego but indulging in my own vanity.

Lizz Ehrenpreis

P.S. I don't apologize for how scatterbrained I seem.

Just want to say, I admire what you are doing. I have known too many Atheists that were just so damned serious about everything! I'm glad you have a sense of humour and share it with all of us. I go through your site all the time, and find your views, humour, and responses to people, to be refreshing. It is also just hilarious to me, to see Christians trying so hard to back up their blind faith. I chat a lot in MSN, and deal with it myself all the time in religious debate chats- not just the Christians, but everyone scrambling to defend their beliefs.

I myself still have some leftover faith- not in a dead man on a stick, but just in... whatever might be out there. But living with an Atheist, and reading through your site, I find it harder and harder everyday to claim any faith in anything anymore... it just no longer makes sense to believe in what's not in front of me. I'm not so afraid of things anymore, and don't stress out so much. I wish others could see how much easier it is to live with yourself when you are not dependent on invisible beings!

Anyways, thank you for the great site!
Sincerely, Ariana Giyate


“this is disgusting...
An outraged customer.”

Dear Bob,
I think this is disgusting and if it meant to be a joke its not funny....

An outraged customer.
Sheila Marino
Union, NJ

You're a customer of mine? Well then, at least tell me if you're happy with the magnet's quality and craftsmanship.

Thank you for the product feedback.

“I would not buy anything like this even if the quality and craftsmanship were the best”

No I am not your customer I found your magnet on the net and I had to comment... I would not buy anything like this even if the quality and craftsmanship were the best because I feel the subject matter is a serious one.

Sheila Marino

Wait. First you are a customer, then you're not a customer? Which is it?

To me you simply sound like an outraged liar.

“I was looking to buy a funny magnet I saw yours and did not think it was amusing or in good taste. So I did not use my purchase power to buy the item. I made a statement and bought from some one else.”

I was looking to buy a funny magnet I saw yours and did not think it was amusing or in good taste. So I did not use my purchase power to buy the item. I made a statement and bought from some one else.

I am still a customer just not yours...I do not lie I made a statement obviously not one that you agree with. I am sorry if I offended you I just was offended by your magnet.

Sheila Marino

You bought my magnets from someone else? I'm confused. I mean, it doesn't sound like I lost your business at all. You don't even want my product!

It's like me sayin': Gee, I sure would like a glass of chocolate milk!" Then going to the store and buy some chocolate milk and thinkin' that the guys who make dill pickles totally lost a customer because they don't make chocolate milk.

You were never going to buy from me in the first place, so how could I lose you? Do you understand?

You must also realize that my business isn't like so many others that you deal with on such a regular basis. Most businesses work very hard to be polite & please everyone who comes into their store and do about anything to sell their product. I really don't have to run my business that way because my magnets sell extremely well either way, you slut.

Jesus Dress Up Fridge Magnet Enterprises, Inc.

“I have been told that these things are being sold at American Outfitters / American Eagle”

How in the world could you even consider making Jesus Christ into a "dress up doll". I have been told that these things are being sold at American Outfitters / American Eagle if so I will never buy anything else from those companies and will encourage other to do the same.

This is a disgrace to my Lord and Savior!!!!! And would appreciate it if you would take this "doll" off the market. It is not funny or cute in the least.

I pray that you some day learn what he has done for your soul and what he can do for your life.

Vona J. Keeling
Independant Tupperware Consultant
Philippians 4:13

Yes. They are being sold at American Eagle stores. They LOVE them there! In fact, American Eagle stores have requested 50,000 more so that they can distribute them worldwide!

Oh how I love the American Eagle stores! And oh how they love me! I dare you never to shop there again!

P.S. C'mon, you have to admit that it's a little cute.

“I mean sitting around all day and running a website based off of elementary ideas, and selling dress-up Jesus figures is where we would all love to be someday...Oh wait no it's not.”

I am just curious Bob, since you spend all of your time slandering and desecrating the Christian faith why don't you 'enlighten' us all on your belifs "which are based in absolute logic" as quoted by you in a previous e-mail. I mean come on Bob, one would like to know more about this "exciting" and "inspirational" faith you believe in. One that must have Doctrines about posting hate about other's ideals, garnering attention by selling immature products to make a buck, and responding to other's e-mails with absolutely no real sense or logic made.

It really sounds like you have it all figured out Bob, and I am sure we would all love to be filled in on the 'secrets to your success.' I mean sitting around all day and running a website based off of elementary ideas, and selling dress-up Jesus figures is where we would all love to be someday...Oh wait no it's not. I forgot most people have the sense to realize that this earth is but a veil, and just because you only believe what your eyes can see does not mean that a world outside of your comprehension exists. But, I am sure you have heard that a thousand times and there have been a thousand witty and arrogant remarks made back by you. So Bob, give us a chance to hear your beliefs and maybe we can question your faith as you question ours.

By the way you can e-mail me at
I would much appreciate a reply. .


If you were a regular viewer of my site you'd already know that I NEVER discuss my own personal beliefs. That's my business, not yours or anyone else's. Like most people I am not very fond of having my beliefs questions or ridiculed. It's an invasion of my privacy and offensive to me as a non believer. I am also not too fond of hearing my product referred to as "immature." No man could boast about making his living in such an elementary manner, and I am no different. I expect an apology, and an official withdrawal of the accusation in a respectable tone.

Nick, I suggest that you figure out what it is you believe before you go and write such a sarcastic, hate-driven email like the one you've written to me.

The Laptop Lobbyists are quoted (from a quote of my very own) that dubs me as "The God of Atheism," If that's not something to be proud of then you need to ask yourself this:
" He who hath no sin may cast the first stone."
Author Unknown


“Well isn't that interesting Bob. Let's review what your last e-mail...”

Well isn't that interesting Bob. Let's review what your last e-mail stated. "If you were a regular viewer of my site you'd already know that I NEVER discuss my own personal beliefs. That's my business, not yours or anyone else's. Like most people I am not very fond of having my beliefs questions or ridiculed."

One more time now. "I AM NOT VERY FOND of having my BELIEFS QUESTIONED or RIDICULED." Are you beginning to see the hypocrisy here Bob? You have a site dedicated to ridiculing and questioning the Christian faith, yet you yourself do not like having your beliefs questioned or ridiculed. Man, I would have figured one so 'intelligent' and 'all-knowing' as yourself would have spotted that. Guess not.

It is sad to see someone resort to such feeble and childish attempts at getting attention. I mean what is it Bob, did you just never have any luck with girls, or fitting in during school? I know how much you would like to think you are a 'punk rawker'. Maybe that's it. I guess listening to punk rock wasn't enough to get you liked by the punk community. So, now you sell dress-up Jesus figures, post hate, and your 'punk rock' now. Wow! Now I am starting to see the connection!

Well, I think you are about as punk as Avril Lavigne wearing a tie and singing about skater boys. So what you are non-believer, who isn't? Hasn't that always been the trendy thing to do all throughout history. To hate God. I mean it so much easier to believe only in yourself, because then you can do whatever YOU want to do with no consequence. Because hey, if your going to die and that's the end of it why not live it up? But, for you it is not even a religious thing it is all about getting the attention you so desperately strive to get from people that probably hated on you five years earlier. Because you see Bob, it is all about respect which you don't tend to grasp. Like I said, so what you are a non-believer that doesn't make you any more special than the millions of others JUST LIKE YOU. You may not agree with believers but at least repect that that is their beliefs and you have yours. Just as you stated to me above, that you are not fond of others desecrating your beliefs. Well, it swings both ways Bobby. So, why don't you practice what you preach... Oh wait I know why you don't, because your not preaching anything. All this garbage is so others will like you. Very sad.It seems it would have been much easier to just be yourself. As for that apology from me....nah.


Well, I ah... but it hurts when people say things about my belei... there's a difference between what I do and what other people...

Wow, you totally got me. How did you figure all of that out about me? Makes me realize that it's really stupid for me to be so hurt by other people's opinions, especially when they're strangers! What was I thinking? And now that I look at it even closer I'm starting to see that a person would have to be pretty lame if they're so hurt, offended or bothered by different beliefs than mine no matter how disrespectful they may be. And then to complain to that person about how they've ridiculed my beliefs? That's gotta be the most ignorant, naive thing anyone could ever do!

Gosh, and the more I look at it I'm starting to realize that there quite possibly might not be anything more important than those other opinions no matter how insulting, offensive or disrespectful some people might think they are, because every belief should be questioned and ridiculed!

Hey Nick, you know what I'm gonna do now? Instead of hiding what I believe and never talking about it, I'm gonna start replying to the hate mail I receive and tell people exactly what I think about their beliefs and my own! And instead of simply sitting on the fence about everybody's beliefs so that everyone will like me I'm gonna choose a side and stick with it!

Lemme see.... which way should I go? Oh, I know! How about Atheism? Yes! That's it! Great. From now on I am going to call myself an "A-the-ist" and defend it no matter how hurt I am by what others think. In fact, I'm gonna stop getting hurt by what others think about my beliefs because WHO THE FUCK GIVES A SHIT WHAT PEOPLE THINK!

What? Are you a fucking moron Nick? Do you even think before you respond with the first reaction you have to something? Is this the same manner in which you chose Jesus Christ too? And you think that selling immature magnets from my website isn't my dream job.. or anyone's for that matter? I'm in New York City and all that I do is draw and write all day. No boss, no schedule, no alarm clocks. And you know what my favorite part of "work" is? I'll tell you what it is. It's responding to silly complaint letters (like yours) and showing how stupid and gullible people who complain to strangers are. How easily they will believe something just because that's what they want to hear (like you and my last letter), and how that in itself reflects their own thought process and exposes another gaping hole in those silly religious beliefs. There isn't anything more punk rock than exposing the lie and rubbing your face in it.

Nick, you are an untalented, jealous dimwit. You can't even recognize the exact same sarcasm you used when it's shoveled right back at you, and that makes you far more pathetic than I could even begin to describe. Goddamn, I love what I do. Sitting around all day dreaming up elementary ideas for a buck.
By the way, what do you do for a living Nick? Wow, that sounds fun.



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