And yet another boring day at
Union Square.

Their emails will be in blue while mine are in black and white.

PLEASE READ ALL THE WAY THROUGH

Dear Mr. Bob Smith,
I would like to tell you what I think of your website. First of all, are you a christian. It certainly doesn't seem like it from you website. And if you think that the Bible is full of lies and is a fiction book, you're VERY much mistaken. As you can see, I do not approve of your website. Jesus died for everyone so that when we die, we can lived forever with him in heaven if we accept him as our savior. Otherwise we would go to hell. Jesus suffered ALOT when the Romans crucified him to the cross, but he did it for you and everybody else. And despite your many flaws, (including your website) he still loves you. Yes, he loves you more than you will EVER imagine. Well, I sure do hope you have learned something. I will pray for you to become a christian.

Thank you for your time.
Sincerely, Someone who cares
Krystal Sarna

Hello Krystal,
I am a very proud Christian and DO NOT need lessons from a 14 year old girl on what a terrific person Jesus was! I'll have you know that He suffered twice as much than what you described! It wasn't just "alot" It was super a lot! So much that I don't even think you could even put it into words! Like very many a lots... and even more! In fact I heard that He suffered more than everyone in 9-11 combined! I would say that Jesus suffered more than every person whoever died a painful death added up, times a thousand! And just because He came back to life and has been living in Heaven for the last 2000 years doesn't detract from that day of suffering, except just a little. But it only takes away the tiniest raindrop of pain from the one million oceans that He suffered... and that's hardly anything. It's like taking away just one thorn prick that He got from that crown. That's all! Even less than that!

I heard someone describe it once saying that if one grain of sand represented your average crucifixion then there wouldn't be enough grains of sand on the earth to show how much Jesus suffered! And that includes if every star in the universe were made of sand too.

But I dunno, I still think that the dress up game is funny.

Bob

Bob, I heard about orders for your Jesus magnet set being halted by Urban Outfitters. I'm glad. I mean, is nothing sacred to you? Does it mean nothing to you to dump on a belief that is near and dear to so many people? I guess it's true that atheists don't have a conscience. What WOULD bother you? An "atheist dress-up" magnet set done in as poor of taste as your Jesus set? A tacky dress-up magnet set featuring your mother or sister or other loved one?

There's a difference between parody and crossing the line into utter disrespect for other's beliefs. Your artwork is very good. It's a shame you used your talents to produce the insulting Jesus dress-up.

Kylr

Kyle Owens
bobblehead@fastmail.fm

Wow. What would bother me? An atheist dress up page? Shocking! Oh, I don't think I could even sleep at night knowing one of those was out there. A tacky dress up page of my mother or sister? Gee, my heart pounds right out of my chest with rage imagining how furious I'd be about that. In fact, I can hardly stand to look at any drawing of a loved one where they're being made fun of and goofified. It makes me furious just thinking about it!

My little cousin drew a picture of my dad cross-eyed and a hammer bonking him on the head and I flipped out! I grabbed the kid by the hair, spun him around and hurled him out the living room window! Oh that drawing made me SO angry!

I put so much weight on the pictures people draw of things I care about. People need to understand that drawing unflattering pictures of somebody is one of the most catastrophic attacks that could ever happen in somebody's life. And the anger I feel about those silly drawings reflects how angry I get in other aspects of my life... but it also shows how caring and righteous I am too. My little cousin knows that first hand.

And Kyle, just to prove my own bravery, I went and made a dress up page that tested every ounce of my endurance. It's of me, an atheist! After completing the page I ran out my front door and collapsed onto my knees, screaming into the sky for 9 and a half hours. My neighbors called the police and I got a ticket for public nuisance.

Bob

Ok Bob, you win. The dress-up "revenge" page of yourself is a riot. I guess I can't complain anymore. But...if a Christian group made an offer to you to market it as a real magnet set to be sold in Christian book stores, would you agree? I had fun positioning the rats and headphones and knife and stuff around. Thanks!

But what if the tacky dress-up page of your mother or sister bothered THEM? Would it bother you that it bothered them?

Kyle Owens
bobblehead@fastmail.fm

What are we talking about? My adult relatives being bothered by a tacky drawing done of them? How bothered? Irked? Or up all night crying for days and days? If the later then I'd be bothered, yes. But not at you. I'd be bothered by them! Who cares!?!? It's a drawing! You can't let every little idea that gets put onto a piece of paper ruin your day!

Hold on a second. What the fuck are you insinuating? Jesus is bothered by my dress up page and that's why you're so outraged? He came back to life Kyle! Isn't that wonderful!? What am I talking about.... He's in HEAVEN! He's fine! He ain't cryin' about it!

My God, I can't believe I'm even humoring these ideas.
Let's cut right to the chase. You're buyin' into the whole living-Jesus-up-in-heaven-bullshit? I'm sorry. I tried to look at this from your perspective but I can't keep a straight face. Do you have a problem? Are you actually impressed that I'm able to tolerate the dress up page of myself? Do you think I would mind at all if it had been designed by a Christian group and sold in their book stores? I think that'd be wonderful! I'd love it. The attention, free publicity, the laughter. I wish they would do it, but they will not, because there is no sense of humor over there. Just fear. Just people promoting fear to other people. And your emails to me prove that you've learned a lot from them.

Bob

So Bob, in you opinion, an artist who draws something that is in bad taste is off the hook, and instead you'd blame the people who get upset over such art...got it. Drawings have a lot of power. Did you hear about the editorial cartoon regarding the soldier Tillman? It's a cartoon which newspapers are not going to run because the editors have deemed it too offensive.

I don't know what Jesus thinks of your dress-up page. You'll die to find out. Literally. ;) But Christians are the ones upset by it, but you don't care. Yes, I'm impressed that you can laugh at yourself. Christians DO have a sense of humor. I saw a bumper sticker last week that said "April 1st is National Atheists Day". You should market your "Bob set" to Christian retailers; it would likely be a hit! An additional item you could add is a branding iron. ;)

It's not always about "promoting fear". But in cases where it is, did you stop to think that maybe these people are trying to be nice about warning you about the fate they believe you are headed for? To them, it's a gesture as kind as pushing you out of the path of a speeding train.

Kyle Owens
bobblehead@fastmail.fm

Kyle, have no doubt that I've taken full responsibility for my art and have by no means let myself "off the hook." I stand behind Jesus Dress Up and have defended it since the day it was posted 4 years ago. Beyond that I don't feel that I, as an artist should be fined or punished or forced to do community service for what I've done. For a newspaper to deem a comic too offensive to publish is a completely different story. The artist still had every right to draw it.

If your definition of "not being off the hook" means an artist should have to explain and defend his work, then the suggestion does not pertain to me. My favorite part about Jesus Dress Up has been defending and explaining it. It's a thrill getting yet another opportunity to rub someone's face in their own ignorance. It's fascinating having a debate with someone who thinks people once lived to be 930 years old and others who were 20 feet tall! I am delighted when I get to argue with somebody who thinks dinosaurs are a hoax manifested by Satan and that at one time donkeys talked. Defending my beliefs isn't a hook, it's a priceless reward!

Oh but Kyle, I was so very upset upon reading your quote from that bumper sticker about April Fools Day being National Atheists Day. Don't you realize how many people you offend when you tell such a joke? Are you simply "let off the hook" for repeating such an insensitive, hurtful bumper sticker? Words have a lot of power Kyle. Enough power to destroy lives.

Christ! It's disturbing how impressed you are with how I was able to illustrate that dress up page of myself. That says so much about you. It illustrates the amount of fear you conduct your own life with and your inability to laugh at yourself when it matters most. I also hope that it's as obvious to everyone who reads this. I want people to see how structuring a belief system around fear completely fucks with every aspect of your life.

You're a naive, ignorant coward, and I bet your personality reflects all three.

"Dress Up Jesus"??? Is this some kind of JOKE??? Are you making fun of Him? I can see you have no faith in Jesus. I`m totally against this game thing you made up. I strongly advise you to make a stop to this nonsence, it will annoy many Christians.

Tamami Yamashita
t4m4m1@hotmail.com

Oh my God! No! I'm not making a joke! I'd never joke about something like that! I mean, Christ! I'm not out to annoy Christians!

Jesus.
Bob

Hey dude sorry to be the one (hopefully not the only one) to break it to ya but your little Jesus dress up magnets, Distasteful. That is one of the lamest things I have ever seen. What would compel you to dress Jesus up like satan, or a chick????????????? Just wondering. Have you seen The Passion?? Do you realize what he did for YOU?

PS. Don't know if your a christian or not (leaning way towards not) but I'm sure he thinks its distasteful too.

Sincerely
Tracy Mapes
tat2dup@yahoo.com

Tracy,
You've asked some terrific questions and raised some interesting points in your email to me. Ones that I'd be more than happy to address.

First off, Yes, I've seen "The Passion," the movie about the death of your god. Oddly (at least to me) you seem to be under the impression that there are specific crimes against God (you call them sins) that require bloodshed for them to be corrected (forgiven by God). That movie about your god that you're recommending hardly put forth any good arguments in the debate whether or not God exists or if the concept of "blood for sin" even has a legitimate leg to stand on. Frankly, to me it all seems very peculiar. Wouldn't you agree?

Tracy, have you spent any amount of time in a mental institution? You do realize that the toy I made can't harm you? I know that you feel strongly about this eternal ghost that's in your body, but please I ask that you be level headed. Everything's going to be okay. Your ghost, and everyone's ghost can't be effected by my magnets... even by your Bible's definition of a ghost!

Please though, seek some kind of help.
Bob

your sick

dickm@comcast.net

"Your" bad at even getting a two word sentence right.