The A. Crowley files

His emails will be in blue while mine are in black and white.

Hey Bob,
I've started a fun series of experiments using those little cut and fold pamphlets of yours. I thought you'd get a kick out of it. Here are the links to what I've done so far:

An Atheist Pamphlet Experiment
Fri, Apr. 16th, 2004, 12:58 pm.

I decided to do some laundry and I discovered that there are those Awake! and Watchtower magazines (which are published and distributed by Jehovah's Witnesses) in our community laundry room.
I've seen them there before, and I leave them alone even though it pisses me off.

I'm sure this statement won't make me popular with some people, but I honestly think that joining a Jehovah's Witness church is as dangerous as joining most cults out there. I don't say this because I think they're "weird" (though it is weird that a JW is supposed refuse blood transfusions on a religious basis, even on the edge of death), but because I've known a couple people who were Jehovah's Witnesses and I feared for them. One of them even attempted suicide when he suspected he might be gay, because of how drastically extreme the JW ideals are. And I know at least one person who was raised JW and she thinks of it as a cult now. So this is part of why, today, I started to throw these in the trash then stopped because of the following two thoughts:

#1: These might belong to someone. Maybe they keep them here so they can read when they come out to do laundry.
#2: Even though they're screwed up, they have a right to publish this stuff, and I guess it's legal to leave it in public places.... but wait, that means I can do the same.

Thus begins the Atheist Pamphlet Experiment.

I decided that if they get to spread their extremist views, I would spread the other extremist view: that there's no God at all. I never ever ever tell people what they should and shouldn't believe, but I thought both views needed to be represented here. So I simply placed them with the JW magazines, as seen here:

12:00 noon, April 1, 2004.
How long will these atheist pamphlets last in the bible belt????

You can see the pamphlets in detail here, I used the first two.

So, the point of this? Really, my own amusement. I'm curious to see how long they'll last. This is, after all, the freaking bible belt. I'm guessing they'll be torn up and in the trash by tomorrow. There's no way they'll last through the usual evening laundry hours tonight.

I'm thinking I should start doing such experiments in general. I think it would be highly amusing to document. And I'm sure Normal Bob would get a kick out of it, too.

Atheist Pamphlet Experiment Results
Sat, Apr. 17th, 2004, 02:59 am

I should so be in bed right now, but I realized that I was already being bad about documenting The Pamphlet Experiment (if you've not seen that, click that link to see what I'm talking about before reading on), so here's my update.

I should have checked on the pamphlets at 5 or so (before leaving to hang with Jen then David), but I didn't. *hangs head in shame* But I did return with my camera at 2:20am, not too terribly long after getting home.

The evidence:

2:20am April 17, 2004
The atheist pamphlets are gone. The Jehovah's Witness magazines remain otherwise untouched.

I could see no trace of the pamphlets on the floor, in the trash (but I didn't dig through it, though there was clearly new trash in there), or outside the little window.

Findings: Inconclusive

The life of these pamphlets could have been anywhere between 2 hours and 14 hours. Bad me for not keeping closer track!

The pamphlets may have been in the trash, in someone's home trash, or in the pocket of someone who found them amusing. I'm leaning toward them being in a trash can somewhere. But I did feel pleased that the JW magazines were clearly untouched.

And then I wondered what the next step should be. Should I try the exact same experiment it again? I decided that if the results were identical, I'd be let down (damn, I'd make a really crappy scientist). But those magazines were staring me down.....

So here's where they are now:

2:25am April 17, 2004
Yes, they are in my kitchen trash.

So sue me, I trashed them. I honestly worry about preteens picking up those magazines and becoming inspired to join JW. Christ, why not leave magazines promoting a new Jones Town style cult so they'll grow up to kill themselves with koolaid? If kids find God, that's great, I'd just rather they do it in a church that doesn't preach that something like a freaking blood transfusion is wrong in the eyes of God.

And it's not like there won't be another Watchtower and another Awake! in there next month.

Atheist Pamphlet Experiment #2
Click here

In case you had not yet realised... Allow me to qualifiy... do you only publish e-mails in your hate-mail which are comically stupid?... I suppose that I shall know the answer to that question by checking your hate-mail section for a copy of this e-mail.

Subject: What purpose does your site serve? (Hatemail?)

Normal Bob,

I recently found your site whilst looking through a message board that I frequent, and I must say I found it somewhat disturbing on two counts- the first being the stupidity and immaturity in the e-mails which people have sent you, and which you have published in your hate mail archive; the second being the irrelevance of your site to the actual issue of the existance of God.

In case you had not yet realised, I am a Christian. Allow me to qualifiy: I was born and brought up as a Protestant, but I realised that there is much criticism, amongst Believers and Non-Believers both, that one's beliefs are based solely on one's up-bringing, and so I took it upon myself to review both sides of the argument, and then draw a conclusion. Not that that matters really, I just wanted to show that I'm not one of these "OMGWTF j00 MADE TEH BAED DRESS-UP! j00r GO TO H3LL!11!" people who so often seem to show up in your hatemail. This brings up a point: do you only publish e-mails in your hate-mail which are comically stupid, or any which disagree with you? I hope the latter, since otherwise you are totally misrepresenting a religion and deceiving fans and customers. I suppose that I shall know the answer to that question by checking your hate-mail section for a copy of this e-mail.

Anyway, the real point which I wanted to make by sending this e-mail was that your site seems to lack any real fact or argument on the on-going debate, surely your obvious artistic talent (and apparent abundance of free time) could better be spent producing and publishing some actual arguments, or reasons which, in your eyes, Christianity must be wrong. If you don't, then there is no way that anybody can counter, or present their side, and therefore the only time of communication is in the form of people calling you a blasphemer or telling you that you're going to hell. Since you obviously are knowledgable about the subject (I note, for example, your capitalisation of the H in Him, His, He, etc. when referring to the Lord, as is proper), and also have strong views on the subject, wouldn't it be much better for your site to have content on the ongoing debate? Actual e-mails pertaining to the matter could be published, you could put your side in the hope of backup or intelligent response, open forum debates could be held, etc. Right now, all your site is now is an advertisement for some fridge magnets designed to piss people off, which seems a waste in the extreme. I can't actually see the reason for this, the only causes I can think of are laziness or fear that Christianity would come out better in a debate, but since you obviously put a large amount of work into your site the first seems unlikely, and as you are so certain in your stance, the latter seems unlikely to.

What it is really imporant to remember is that not everything in the Old Testament is to be taken literally. Most of your fun-poking which actually has some grounds in the religion is based on the Scriptures, or a view of Hell and eternal life which has stemmed from them, when in reality very few Chrisitans believe 100% in the Old Testament, especially since Our Saviour, Jesus Christ, told us that many of these laws are not what paramount, but the Love of the Lord. I needn't go on, you know this as well as I.

In closing, I hope very much that you will consider what I have said, I really can't understand your stance or the course you have taken with your site, but I certainly hope to hear from you, and also I look forward to seeing this in your Hate Mail section (hint hint).

For now,
A. Crowley

To the distinguished and respectable A. Crowley,

I hasten to direct immediate acknowledgment of your, how shall we say, highly literate correspondence you so recently put forth to my Inbox. Your chastening critique, whilst impressively observant, struck me also as subtly overt.

In case you had not yet realized that which I put forth to you now, I am hardly one who heeds a letter such as yours and holds it in terribly high regard. The elementary usage of haughty Jedi Master verbiage scattered throughout those misspelled run-on sentences leaves a reader (like myself) only to contemplate the overall intelligence of its author, perhaps even leaving one to wonder if the soapboxer could indeed be even lesser on the food chain than one of his aforementioned hate mail disappointments.

In closing, I'd like to assure you that I will take great joy in posting more emails like the one you have bestowed upon me and I most sincerely want to extend the hand of gratitude to you and your professors for the honor of responding to this eloquent manifesto.

For now and for truly,
B. Smith, Esquire

“records of Jesus' death show that the curtain at the temple did indeed split, and that he did indeed rise after being crusified.”

Well, that was... different. Forgive me for writing an e-mail at 1.00 in the morning, it probably didn't help. But really, what reason do you have not to believe in God? He's the only real way in which we could have been created (seriously, evolution? I haven't yet found a valid explanation of how, say, a heart is useful without veins, or visa-versa; and, if it isn't, how they both evolved at the same time), records of Jesus' death show that the curtain at the temple did indeed split, and that he did indeed rise after being crusified. What about the creation of the universe? If there was only a vacuum, then what caused the Big Bang, and how did it come about when there's no time in a vacuum. If there was some gas or substance which eventually caused the Big Bang, where did that come from? It can't have just "always been there", because if it had, then it would have been waiting an infinitely long time to finally explode, and surely for it to explode, a certain chain of events would have had to have happened, and this chain would have had a finite probability, and therefore would have taken a finite amount of time to happen... therefore it can't have been around for an infinite amount of time.

So there, evidence (I won't use the word "proof") for the existence of God... now give me some evidence why he doesn't exist, or tell me what's wrong with the above arguments. And, no, I don't mean a few inaccuracies in the Bible (especially the Old Testament), since the chances are very high that it would not have been written down completely accurately anyway, and unless you own the original and speak fluent Hebrew, many inaccuracies you know about may well be errors in translation.

For now,
Anthony Crowley

Anthony, your brain seems to be trying to function but it isn't doing a very good job of it.

Your arguments and theories are virtually nonsensical. Is your first proposal suggesting that there's no way the heart and its veins could have evolved in conjunction with each other? Really, I have no idea where you're going with this. I think the reason you have yet to hear an explanation for this puzzle is because you don't seem to be able to digest the simplest of concepts.

Evolution isn't something that happens separate from outside influences (a lone heart evolving separately from its components). It happens in cooperation with everything else. Living things evolve because of their surroundings, their prey and their predators, their desperate need to survive and the demands placed upon them. And not everything evolves at the same rate, or even succeeds in evolving at all! Gasp!

Did you know that there are many creatures that've failed at evolving? Do you know what happened to them? They died! They became extinct species with hearts and veins that did not function properly, or they had a food source that ran out or a system that could no longer adapt. Some of them never even evolved into existence to begin with! But cheer up Anthony because there were other creatures that did evolve and they became a little bit stronger and a little bit smarter thus increasing the odds that they would continue to survive. Please tell me what it is that you do not understand about this.

Records of Jesus' death? What the hell are you talking about?!? Is there some notarized coroners report that's been unearthed from some 2,000 year old time capsule? Please tell me that these "records" aren't bible passages. How disappointed I shall be if this is what you're referencing as evidence.

How can something happen inside of a vacuum when there is no time in a vacuum? My god, was it 3AM when you wrote this second letter? Anthony, ANYTHING can occur when time is no longer a factor! That means you've got an infinite window of opportunity waiting for something to happen, and when it does (and I assure you that in eternity something will eventually happen) the chances that another happenstance will follow is 100%! There's no stopping it at that point. It is inevitable, thus a beginning to the evolutionary chain.

As for where did it all come from? What chain of events occurred to begin it all? I suppose that the same question could be asked of you as well. My feeling is that there's a greater chance of an eternal lifeless universe than an eternal living being. Then there's the fact that the only evidence of this eternal living being is from our imaginations. It leaves little reason to lean towards the wishful thinking heavenly wonderland for all who believe and a loving presence encapsulating the universe who watches over us all. There just isn't the kind of evidence that stands up in a science lab to support this world of make-believe.

Anthony, when you actually begin to study evolution you then begin to understand how life works. Things can be explained and there's much to be gained from understanding the basic rules of life. It's almost as elementary as accepting the fact that we pass down our traits to our children, and then they do the same with theirs. Life evolves for better or for worse. The God-created-it-that-way explanation encourages very little research and basically presents itself as explanation enough so stop trying to figure it out. This is why opting for Creation is a cop-out.

You've actually made some noticeable progress since that amateurish Old English manner of speakage you were trying to shovel out before. I can only hope that there's the same amount of progress in your rationale as well.



New Hate Mail
Past Hate Mail