Subject: Spreading the Good News of "God is Fake!"

Hey, Bob :)
I thought I'd drop you another note of appreciation. That hate mail never gets old!

I've found a way to better spread the Word of Bob! I get credit card applications almost daily, even some for cards I already have! I'm an avid conservationist, so the process of sorting, tearing out fake cards and plastic windows, shredding, bagging and recycling is a daily annoyance. Now I save every business reply envelope and stuff them with your tracts and dress up flyers! The thought of these companies paying 37 cents over and over to hear God is Fake makes it all worth while!

Kel Drakestone


I've included this photo of my latest batch, ready to be mailed and applied against the companies postage accounts!

Their letters will be in blue while mine are in black and white.

Subject: FAN MAIL!!

BOB:

My husband and I just LOVE your site! Some of the fan mail and movie reviews had us laughing, literally, to TEARS! There is nothing like the feeling one gets watching the brainwashed masses get proverbially slapped up aside the head with a healthy dose of REALITY!

In adhering to the fan mail rules, I have included pics of myself...do you think I can be an honorary member of the unholy army of catholic school girls? I am always up for a good spanking, and to top it off, I am a RAVING bisexual! (Oh damn, I will probably burn in hell for that too, won't I?).

Jane Smith


Jesus Christ! Thank you Jane! wow... too bad you got a husband. I'd like to slap that ass!

Hey, I'm gonna have Unholy Army t-shirts soon. Then you'll be a memeber.

Wonderful pix. Love that ass in that skirt. Sigh*
Bob


Ha! I just may need a good spanking...I just re-read my email to you; apparently I didn't proof-read close enough and stated your FAN MAIL had us laughing our asses off, instead of HATE MAIL...whoops!

I'll have my hubby take me over his knee in your honor! Although he may just let you take me over your knee anyways...

By the way, I thought "Normal Bob" already has a girlfriend...is that not true?


Subject: Fw: Creationists shoot themselves in the foot again

I've read every page on your site, and continue to do so--let us say 'religiously'--and you do great work. I thought you'd find the irony noted below amusing.. At this link:

You'll find details and photos of the progress of a reconstruction of Noah's Ark, which is "being constructed to the original specifications" in Frostburg, Maryland.

It includes such wonderfully biblical details as:

"To date, over 3000 tons of cement have been poured to support this structure"

"...76 cement pillars, 34 sway-brace pillars..."

"Steel reinforcement rod was needed..."

"...the next step of construction involves the outside shell or steel superstructure..."

No mention was made of gopherwood, nor how they expect that this was done with crude hand tools and carpentry. Presumably, Noah was a dab hand at whipping up steel reinforcement rods. Oh, wait-- I guess that should be bronze. Unmentioned in the Bible are the five bulldozers used to dig the foundations, which, since this Ark, like the original, must have to support itself on land, where it was built.

If you think that maybe they're only using heavy equipment because they lack the time to do it the way Noah did, one might note that ground was broken on the project in 1976.

Still no word on how they're going to get all those animals inside, but based on this, it may involve freeze-drying...

Steve James
Indianapolis, Indiana

“U FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

U FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jesus died lik he did so u didnt hav 2...it is not a game not a joke nothing 2 b playin around with jesus (the man u made fun of here) loves you no matter how much u make fun of him he is disappointed in you...when u die u will hav 2 face HIM and tell him wat u did 2 him on earth until then ill b prayin for you a chirstian TEENAGER!

Daddysbaby22191@XXXXXXX


Gee, you're a teenager? I never would have guessed from such a well written complaint letter. I figured you to be some kind of grammar scholar or brain surgeon or something. Teenager? Wow. I better listen to what you got to say because you sound very intelligent.

Now what were you sayin'?
Bob


“do you want me to get the government involed because I WILL!!”

wat i was sayin praytel was u sir are making fun of someone who does nothing but love you! I can not believe someone would have the nerve to do something like making such a tragic DEATH a joke! Please please take that part of your website off or I WILL start a potition! if we can not display our 10 commandments publicly YOU will not be able to make fun of my lord and savior!! now do you want me to get the government involed because I WILL!! I am sorry about my "over reacting" but i feel strongly about this issue now god bless you and hav a good day

(annoying)christian teen
Daddysbaby22191@XXXXXXX


Well Daddy's Baby, you're probably not going to be too happy with what I'm about to say but, there's no way in hell I'm taking my site down just 'cause some teenage girl told me to. Can you imagine how pathetic that'd make me?

In fact, I have to tell you, I want the Federal Government to get involved. I beg you to start your "potition" and do everything in your power to bring me down. May I suggest something else? Call the news! I promise you, if they did a story on my site, millions would rise up and get me shut down. No question about it. Here is their contact info: http://www.cnn.com/feedback/

Tell them you're a disgruntled teenage girl.
That should do it.
Bob


“i not mean 4 u 2 get mad man i not no how 2 get the news involved it ok.....”

ha u thought i was serious i jkin u im sry i not mean 4 u 2 get mad man i not no how 2 get the news involved it ok.....

Daddysbaby22191@XXXXXXX


Did I sound mad? I actually wanted you to get the government involved. I wasn't mad at all, I was hopeful and excited!

Rats. Now I'm disappointed.
You suck, DaddysBaby.

“you got my "click" count by going to your website”

Subject: Just want to say how sorry I am that I checked out your website.

I didn't want you to think that just because you got my "click" count by going to your website that I found it amusing.
I don't.

vze1pley
skn8@verizon.net


Doesn't matter to me. It's the "click counts" that I care about! Thanks!

Bob

“Bitch azz white boi”

Bitch azz white boi

Darren Williams
darren_williams54@yahoo.com


Is that slang for something?


“You cant handlee the fac t that jesus wuz black, so you make fun of him.”

You iz a dumb white bastard making fun of God & jesus. You cant handlee the fac t that jesus wuz black, so you make fun of him.

Darren Williams
darren_williams54@yahoo.com


Wow, you've got to be the worst speller I've ever seen. Did you ever get any kind of education? Is that why you believe in bible stories? Because you're stupid?


“dun worry about ma spellin biotch... you iz racist”

dun worry about ma spellin biotch, worry about yo azz when you go to hell you white devil bitch, you make fun of jesus cuz you know he wuz really a black man and you cant take it. you iz racist

Darren Williams
darren_williams54@yahoo.com


How am I a racist?


“racist, jesus was black”

makin fun of jesus on tha cross is racist, jesus was black

Darren Williams
darren_williams54@yahoo.com


Everyone who worships a white Jesus is a racist?


“like when people say egyptians was not black....cos they racist and cant handle tha truth”

Everyone kno jesus waz black, he born in jerusalem an that is africa, itz like when people say egyptians was not black....cos they racist and cant handle tha truth

Darren Williams
darren_williams54@yahoo.com


Yeah, I hear what you're sain'. But what I'm asking is if every person who worships the white Jesus, are they racists too? Please tell.


“die white muthafucka”

die die die die die white muthafucka

Darren Williams
darren_williams54@yahoo.com


Now who's the racist? I'm looking in your direction, Darren.


“santa wuz black”

jesus wuz black and santa wuz black, you white biotch, white people are scum, they hav done or gav e nothin to this world.

Darren Williams
darren_williams54@yahoo.com


Yay! Santa was black! You must be proud. What about the Easter Bunny? Was he black too?

White people gave you da tooth fairy you racist beeotch! An im gonna make a mint wen I hand him all yor teeth pussy face!

:)
Bob


“tha greek learnt everythin from africa, so did da romans. Blacks are superior”

Black people are tha best race on earth, first civiliazations, tha greek learnt everythin from africa, so did da romans. Blacks are superior

Darren Williams
darren_williams54@yahoo.com


And you called me the racist?
Personally I think it's fun how dumb you're being.


“name one good thing tha white race has dun fo this world”

name one good thing tha white race has dun fo this world, blacks did everythin, white bitch

Darren Williams
darren_williams54@yahoo.com


We ended slavery!


“fuck you bitch you need crucifyin so you can feel how black jesus felt on tha cross.”

Fuck America, i hate thiz place. Full of racists, and then they peoples who say america is da best country in tha world, when it was built on black slavery, george washington waz a slave owner an he woud'nt of won tha so called "revolution" if it wazn't fo black slaves fightin for him, oh yea an tha french. and what did blacks get for it? nothin till 70 years. even afta da civil war blacks was treated like shyt, even 2day. fuck you bitch you need crucifyin so you can feel how black jesus felt on tha cross.

Darren Williams
darren_williams54@yahoo.com


Is this really all about Jesus being black? Are you telling me that if I made the Jesus on Jesus Dress Up black you'd be happier? It seems to me like you should be pleased; all of us whites fighting over our white god on the cross. I mean, why do you even care who we're worshipping? You should be so happy we're worshipping the the wrong color god 'cause then we'll go to hell for worshipping the false god.

"Wah wah wah wah! My god's skin is black! I'm black! I'm so smart because I put importance on skin color just like white people do! Wah wah wah!" (lot's of crying sounds).

Crybaby.
Bob

“I think you made all this death threat bullshit up.”

I think you made all this death threat bullshit up. I read that Chick's info on that link you posted. She seems way to dumb to even be real. I must say bob, I am dissappointed. I have always enjoyed reading your site. The way you like to play with people's heads is fascinating to me. But Faking a death threat? Bob, I believe you've reached a new low.

sincerely,
Parker Millar


Wait, now I'm confused. You've always enjoyed my site, but you describe my latest actions as reaching a new low? So you're saying you've always enjoyed the other lows I've reached, but this new one is too low?

Yes, I made it up. Everyone knows that no Christian would ever send out a bogus death threat out to a stranger anonymously. I had to make it up. Why did I fake a death threat and then make it so it was a bogus death threat? I'm not sure, seeing as how I'd get more attention if I kept it real and pretended that I really was being hunted. Now THAT would have gotten me attention!

Drat. I should have done that.
Hey, how did you figure out it was fake?
Bob


“There's faith, then there's bieng illogical, then there's just plain bieng a retard.”

The info on the girl you posted just made her sound way to dumb to ever be real, also is http://objective.jesussave.us/kidz.html another one of your creations. I was looking at the links at the bottom of your page, and this one just seemed a little...... um.... familiar. It some of the arguments presented on that page were in the same tone as some of the arguments posted on your page. Only in reverse. Does that make any sense?

Not trying to be an asshole, I just can't tell if that site is a joke or if people are actually dumb enough to think the world is only 4,000 years old, or that neanderthals were just really old people. Speaking to that point. If the world is only four thousand years old and people used to live well into their eight-hundreds, as stated by biblical creationists on that site. then how do you account for the hundreds of generations painstakingly written out in their precious old testament. It just dosen't add up. There's faith, then there's bieng illogical, then there's just plain bieng a retard.

later
Parker Millar


Parker, I promise you that there really are people who believe all that stuff. For real. That's why I leave their email addresses at the bottom of each letter. Then you can email them yourself and see that they are for real (I promise you that I have never made up any letter in the hate mail section and pretended it was real. That wouldn't be any fun for me at all.

I enjoy doing my site because it's all real. I also can assure you that I did not make or have anything to do with objective.jesussave.us site. That's someone else's site whom I do not know and they wrote all that stuff about me of their own free will, believe it or not.

You can believe whatever you want to believe but I promise that I've never posted a letter that I knew to be bogus. Those death threat letters were posted as they came into me from a stranger and posted as they happened.

Unfortunatly for the sake of mankind, Parker, they are just plain being retarded.
Bob

“I just wanted to ask if you are a religous man”

I just wanted to ask if you are a religous man, like catholics or christians.


You're asking if I'm Catholics or Christians? I'm neither. I'm Atheists.

 

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