" ' Smith' who claims to have been a Christian until he turned 30 prances around in public wearing horns and red paint that make him look like the devil. You can find him on his website dressed in this costume. He calls himself 'the God of Atheism,' and you can see pictures of him in various settings, a nasty little smirk on his face. He looks like a sick Pee Wee Herman."
Laptop Lobbyists, 2004


Their letters will be in blue while mine are in black and white.

Subject: hey buddy

(Not actual picture of emailer or Jesus Christ)

dear bob

i stumbled upon you websight while looking up info on Jimmy Swaggart. I happend to look around your websight and found it very funny acctualy. i think that fact went to the passion of the christ dressed up as the devil was hillarious! im also and artist and i found your work to be quite good and i enjoyed the dressups, you realy spent alot of time on them... i was impressed.

im a christian, and i spend alot of time witnessing to the gay comunity, muslims and homeless people in Hollywood. possobly because of all the exposure i get christian hate and critisizim, i was not offended by your sights content.

i would however like you to know, that i am praying for you to that you might know the wonderfull, fabulouse, amazing experiance of haveing a personal relationship with the uncreated being, a.k.a. 'God.'

i did notice that you had somethings on you sight that led me to belive you might have perhaps suicidal tendancies??? i could be wrong but i got that vibe from some of the dressups. God can take that away and give you peace in every area of your life.

Hes good bob, im telling you this cause i know what its like to know him. he loves you, thats why he made to you, so you might know what his love is like.

anyways enough for now, you can write back if you like.

ttyl - Andy

Hey Andy,
I got your email and I wanted to address your top concern. No, I do not have suicidal tendencies. I am a 35 year old man who's never once tried to do such a thing. I never would. I value life way too much. I've always understood that things will change. Things always get bad and then they always get better again. That's how life works. Change always occurs. The dress ups you saw are all for fun. What exactly about the dress ups led you to believe I was suicidal? The alien facehugger you can put on my head?

I'm also of the belief that "peace in every area of your life" is not a good thing. When I picture that I picture the end of progression in ones life. The acclaimed psychotherapist Carl Jung once said, "The foundation of all mental illness is the avoidance of legitimate suffering."

I love that quote. And from experience I believe that this is exactly what it means to believe in God. It's believing in something made-up to take away the suffering. People forget how important suffering and struggling is. That's when you learn the most! It's how mankind has progressed through the stages of evolution over millions of years to where we are today. To me, finding peace through God is no different than finding it through drugs, alcohol, blindfolds, fingers in ears, etc.)

And Christ, you were searching for info on Jimmy Swaggart? If it was for any reason other than making a laughing stock out of him then my point has been proved. He slept with hookers, Andy! That's all you need to know! Jesus Christ, how unlike Jesus Christ does one have to be before they can no longer be a religious leader?!? Gee, I wonder where his mental illness stemmed from?

I rest my case.


My best friend since High school

Subject: I am hurt and I am also hurt when...

Hello Bob,
I just got through reading your new hate mail and I have to tell you that I have tears running down my face right now from all the laughing. I think that you explained my feelings preciously in your letter back to that woman. When we are children we get upset with people who don't agree with us. Then we grow up, or so I thought all of us were supposed to grow up. This woman feeling sorry that you are so hurt is really very frightening. I can't imagine going through life without knowing sarcasm. How easy it must be for her to believe everything written in the bible.

That is pretty much why I think your reply to that hate mail is one of my favorites of all time. I am glad you got to meet Pee Wee Herman,
Love Lori .

“you are a... cheap... fool... Gay demon”

Subject: You should die

You should respect her name Jesus
you are a
Gay demon

God should burn alive for that

truly I tell you, that naum will have success in place some of his her life, and you will have a children that you will be a servant faithful of the lord of lords, Jesus Cristo


“you are completly nuts, you say 'im satan'...”

Subject: you make people pray to God

hey bob
you are completly nuts, you say "im satan" but you are working more for God than more of the people i know.

for sure you are gaining a complete painful and eternal vacation at hell after your death, but i hope God switch you to a good person. i was so sinner, a really bad one, but i meet God when HE wanted, and now im doing well, im praying, i go to mass, and i listen carefully to the Pope, i love my brothers and help them every time i can, and i tell you, people like you give me more motivations to pray for good to God. well, as you can see, its not a hate mail, and for sure its not a fun mail, its very sad, almost like you. God bless you, and turn your heart to him

C. D. Miro

pd: pssst... btw, you are NOT satan, see a catholic priest, ask him for an exorcism, and see a doctor, tell him you think you are a non-natural person, may be you can get a medicine for your annomally, and of course, pray to God, who is waiting you to open your silly heart to him.

Hello C. D. Miro!
Yes, I say "I'm Satan!" I say it onto my site many many times! Often indeed. Why do you come and tell me that I am not Satan in your pd?

I go see a Catholic priest doctor and he also agreed with my that I am Satan. The Catholic priest doctor wa a broom in a wig and sunglasses taped on.

You are non-natural person! Ha ha ha ha. You should take medicine that is non-natural person antidote!

And I am going to tell you this for the last thing. You are working more for Satan than I could be! And I should know because clever satan is me! Grrrrrrr!


“My child found your site today.... I only have to assume that you have no idea what you are teaching.”

My child found your site today. I was appauled. I only have to assume that you have no idea what you are teaching. Jesus is not a figure for children to dress up in pathetic custumes. He is not a little baby to be worshipped during Christmas, nor is he hanging on the cross like the Roman Catolics would teach you. He is a resurected, perfected being that is due honor and praise. He has a plan for you, I hope you would come to know it and surrender to Him soon for the end is near and judgement is for everyone.Now you are knowledgeable of His coming judgement and will be held accountable for your knowledge and your actions.

Please consider what you are teaching. For it is a lie. To yourself and to innocent children.

Bobbie Rasmussen

Interesting. Even with kids you still put yourself through thinking that the end times are right around the corner. I often wondered if when a Christian started having children if they'd lose that "THE TIME OF THE APOCALYPSE IS AT HAND" motivation, but I see it does not.

If you can't see the make-believe in that book then I wonder how you keep yourself from falling for every nursery rhyme you read to your child at bedtime. It is so clearly lies (Adam & Eve, Noah, turning into a salt statue, giants, unicorns & angels) that I am left to question whether someone who believes it should be considered too gullible to parent kids (like for safety reasons). For instance I wouldn't want someone who had an imaginary friend telling him to do stuff to have children.

What about that?

“It hurts me to know that my kids can type in the name Jesus and find your website.”

Subject: Jesus

Jesus is Lord. He loves you so very much, that he died on the very cross that you poke fun at him with. He knows everything in your heart. He still loves you, and he would still die on the cross for you. I excepted Christ in to my live 10 yrs ago. He has been very important to me, that cross means more to me then you'll know. It hurts me to know that my kids can type in the name Jesus and find your website.

God Bless
Suzie Khan

Dear Mrs. Suzie Khan,
I do not know what you're talking about. He is not my god. He is only yours. There are other people with other gods who believe other things. Did you not know that? You seem to not be aware of that. Why do you not know that? Everyone knows that!

One reason that I poke fun at Him is because it seems that everyone does not know that. It hurts me that you do not know that. It hurts me that you do not respect my beliefs and that you do not believe what I believe. It hurts me that my child can find out about your beliefs on the Internet.

I am also hurt when anyone says something that goes against my beliefs. It hurts me to see people not respect everything I believe. I am often hurt by things that I am not used to. I am hurt by little drawings that make fun of my beliefs. It hurts me that I cannot explain my beliefs logically. I am also hurt by beliefs that don't always make sense to me. I hurt when I think about my beliefs too much. I am hurt when people expect me to think about my beliefs.

I am hurt when I happen across someone else's beliefs on the Internet and they don't match up with mine. I am hurt when those people try to tell others about those beliefs. I am hurt that a child can access different beliefs other than what I believe, and choose to believe them or not believe them. I am hurt when my child doubts or questions my beliefs.

But most of all I am hurt when no one on the Internet gives a shit about my hurt feelings.

“There is a God!”

You know Bob, there is someone who cares about your feelings. Jesus cared so much about your feelings that he died for you sin. Therefore you do not have to spend a moment in hell.

There will come a day when you have to answer for you actions and lack of faith. There is a God! He is not only my God, but he is the one and only true God.

By the by, I'm sorry that your so hurt. I don't know what got you in that place. But I do know all that hate is exhusting. You will find rest in Jesus, he'll heal your hurts. He'll make old thing new. It's like he give you another chance. He's able to forgive all sins, even if you think that they are too bad. I know that he loves you.

God Bless
Suzie Khan

It is so terrific to hear that there is someone up in heaven who cares for my hurt feelings. That's just what I needed. I feel so much better! Oh, and to hear that you're sorry for my hurt feelings, that's so so comforting.

You know what I'm going to do? I am going to pin a little paper word balloon to a stuffed animal that says "I care about your hurt feelings, Bob" in it. What a great idea! Then every time I look over at Mr. Teddy Ruxpin I can pretend that the words "I care about your hurt feelings" are enough to satisfy my simple brain.

It's fantastic how easy it is to care for people! You don't even gotta do anything! Just say the words! No, wait! Not even that! Just write it on a piece of paper and set the photocopier to 1,000 and there you have it, 1,000 people cared for! And best of all it doesn't reduce the meaning of the words one bit! Then everyone who really does care for you (family, friends, loved ones, people you've actually met and have relationships with) get to be part of that Teddy Ruxpin crowd (Jesus, strangers, actors who say "I love you all!" when they win awards). What a valid, tangible, valuable love it is.

The world you live in sounds like a dream, doesn't it Teddy? Oh, look! He cares about me! I care about you too Teddy!!!



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