Hate Mail

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FIND JESUS... OR GO TO HELLLLLL!!!

Their letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Subject: What the hell?

I'm curious, why do you attack the way people write? I'm sorry if some people didn't have the same education or opportunities as you had growing up. Yes, some people are morons, but you have no right to be an asshole to people, unless your motto is "The revenge of an idiot is without mercy" (you being the idiot of course).

In all honesty, how old are you? At least late 30's right? Grow up. Go out into the world and get a "real life"!

Another issue, what do you have against these's "amazing strangers"? When calling something amazing, it's usually associated with a positive outlook. Yet here you are, portraying these people as losers, and you seem amused at there unfortunate happenstance.

You even make fun of yourself. Are you that unhappy? When is the last time you had some one who loved you? I'm not talking about you're "fans" either, but a person face to face.

Little Miss Camera Shy

 

Dear Little Miss Camera Shy,

I suppose the reason I attack people's spelling and grammar is because education is important. I also judge someone's opinion in accordance with how smart they are. I'm sorry if that seems unfair to you, but I've found that in general smart people give better advice than retarded people do. That's a pretty safe bet most of the time. If that makes me an idiot, then, well I guess you shouldn't take my advice.

Okay, MID-30's! And I DO have a real life! I go out every day, see my friends and date girls face to face. I sell magnets to stores around NYC and I freelance art for people. I also like to take pictures around town and I bake a mean chocolate chip cookie! That's a life, right? I mean, I'm not skiing Vale or leaping naked out of planes or nothin' but I'm living my life for Christ's sake!

And I'll admit that the "Amazing" in Amazing Strangers is a little tongue in cheek. I suppose I just smugly assume people are interested in how I (the idiot) view the strangers I see everyday. I mean, I don't claim to be some superman, that's why I make fun of myself too! We're all fucked up, right? Or wouldn't you ever crack a joke at your own expense? Hey, you wanna know my opinion? My opinion is that someone like you who'd never make fun of herself is the one with the problems, unless you think you're perfect? Is that what you think? Maybe you should be an Amazing Stranger?

I suppose in the end I just think that there are a whole lot of people out there who think all backwards (like you) and I just want to throw in my 2¢.
Can you blame me?

Bob

ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN?

ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN?
I PRAY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!
PLEASE DONT EMAIL ME----
OR,DO THAT JESUS DRESS UP THING!
OUR PRAYERS DID DO SOMETHING!!!!!
YOU ARE SUCH A HIPACRIT   I CAN NOT BELEVE YOU A DEVIL  ARE YOU STUPID         OR MIXED UP IN THE HEAD   YOU ARE THE BIGGEST 666 EVER        DEVIL WORSHIPER EVER!WHY?THATS ALL I ASK....WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY??????????????? 

Holly

Hello Holly,
You put me in an odd prediciment. You told me not to email you back and then you asked me "why?" 6 times! Since there seems to be no way to answer that without emailing you back I figured that I'll just send a quick, kindly worded response and answer your questions. No, I am not a Christian. No, I am not a devil worshipper and I don't think I'm the devil. I'm just playing dress up. Ya know? I think it's funny to dress like a red devil. Like a costume party! You know?

I honestly don't think that God exists. I think that He is a made up character in people's heads. That's how I feel. I'm sorry if you disagree, but I am entitled to think what I want. That doesn't make me stupid or a hypocrite, or a big 666 (whatever that is).

Please don't get angry at me. I'm just believing what I think is true.
Thank you for your email.
Bob

Naughty Smiley Face Art © 2005 NormalBobSmith.com

 

profene, bob, the ugly, the dirty, the rude, unkind, no faith in god or jesus, so BOB THE REAL STUPID PROFANE.  FOR THIS GO TO HELLLLLLL. O.K.

Subject: dress up jesus

it is a shame that you have no decensy.  take jesus name for this, is ridiculous.  you have no sense of religion, and for this I think you have no country and for ended you have no motherrrrrr, o.k.

people like you should go to hell, even though before you died.  And I hope that when you died we can do the same thing with your body.  O.k. profene, bob, the ugly, the dirty, the rude, unkind, no faith in god or jesus, so BOB THE REAL STUPID PROFANE.  FOR THIS GO TO HELLLLLLL. O.K.

Andy Star
andystar98@yahoo.com

Andy, I have a little story I'd like to tell you that was once told by Jesus Christ Himself. I think you'll enjoy it.

One morning Jesus brought together His 12 disciples and He told them each to pull out a photograph of the person they hated the most and tape it to the wall at the front of the classroom. Each disciple took out a picture from their cloak and taped it to the wall. Matthew taped up a picture of his tax collector. Paul had a photo of Saul that he stuck to the wall next to the tax collector. David had a picture of Goliath. Judas, a picture of Jesus. John, a picture of Hitler, and so on and so on, until there were 12 pictures hanging neatly on the wall. Each a hated enemy of the disciple who'd taped it there.

Jesus instructed His disciples to yell the worst, most insulting comments they could think of at the pictures on the wall. David screamed at the photo of Goliath "GO TO HELLLLLL! OK" while Paul yelled "You're ugly, dirty, rude, unkind, no faith in god or jesus!!" whilst Judas simply made rude hand gestures at his picture on the wall. The room was a frenzy of loudmouth, inventive name calling that made even Jesus snicker a bit.

Then, raising His hand, Jesus signaled them all to be quiet. He walked over to the wall and removed the photos that the disciples had placed there with so much care. He was still giggling at the things John said about Hitler's mother. He took them down one by one, and you know what? Jesus had miraculously placed a picture of Himself underneath each of the photos while they hadn't been looking.

And there they all stood, somewhat confused, gazing at the 12 pictures of Jesus lined up side by side on the wall at the front of the classroom. Then Jesus, quite pompously, said: "For each of these things that you say about my brother you sayith of me as well."

Well, as you might have imagined, the disciples were stunned. They looked at the wall, then at each other, and then fell to their knees and wept like little babies. They crawled to Jesus on their knees and lavished His feet with wet, loving kisses, and then washed their own lipstick from Jesus' feet with their flowing, blond locks.

Andy, maybe you have something you'd like to apologize for regarding those things you said about me and Jesus?
I love you Andy.
Bob

 

I bet you think you're cool as hell, right? You are a loser, an ignorant loser.

You are so cool! Dress up Jesus on a cross? Do you know how insulting that is to Christians? I bet you think you're cool as hell, right? You are a loser, an ignorant loser.

Charles Schultz
chicagoc18@yahoo.com

 

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